MadDawg's Thursday Arse of the Day
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mine who ended up having a bad experiene one night with a girl that had just one tit. We henceforth called her the "unitit". He said it would've been alright had the single boob been centered. You know, kinda like a cyclops..............
..is..MadDawg recognizes class, he always does. This lady, obviously a product of good breeding, displays consensual expressions[fingers pointing down] desired by gentlemen.
that is pretty bad...
There is a legend of a girl back when i was in high school in the jones county area that didnt have anything down below. It was just flat skin.
One night at one of our "house parties" out in the county one of my buddies came running out from one of the back rooms hollerin its true its true, the legend is true and the sumbitch didnt stop and i think he was pickeup on I59 still visibly shaken
There is a legend of a girl back when i was in high school in the jones county area that didnt have anything down below. It was just flat skin.
One night at one of our "house parties" out in the county one of my buddies came running out from one of the back rooms hollerin its true its true, the legend is true and the sumbitch didnt stop and i think he was pickeup on I59 still visibly shaken
My bad. I just couldn't resist...........
However, in his defense, he did tell me that the one tit the ole girl did have was a nice'un.
BTW, this ole boy also happened to like one legged girls. Once slept with a woman who had wooden leg. He told me that (pardon the expression) he lost his "woodie" when he saw the leg laying in the floor and that he later had to use a phone book for a prop.
He still has splinters to this day..........
BTW, I'm not making either of these stories up. TRUE!!!!!!!
However, in his defense, he did tell me that the one tit the ole girl did have was a nice'un.
BTW, this ole boy also happened to like one legged girls. Once slept with a woman who had wooden leg. He told me that (pardon the expression) he lost his "woodie" when he saw the leg laying in the floor and that he later had to use a phone book for a prop.
He still has splinters to this day..........
BTW, I'm not making either of these stories up. TRUE!!!!!!!
ive got some good stories and real dirty ones, but nothing comes close to a "unitit".
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
I mean, ****, Im laughing as I type this.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
I mean, ****, Im laughing as I type this.
(I know, there I go bragging about how I make money by working) has some story about his friend having sex with a lady with one leg, and every 5 strokes or so, he has to readjust her because she can't keep herself stationary on one side. He described it sort of like an old typewriter.
It's probably BS, but it's funny as hell when he tells it. He picks her up in a bar and only finds out about the leg when he gets back to the room. She says "Are you OK with this?" and he says "You are going to have to give me a minute."
It's probably BS, but it's funny as hell when he tells it. He picks her up in a bar and only finds out about the leg when he gets back to the room. She says "Are you OK with this?" and he says "You are going to have to give me a minute."
had one leg. Kinda short, blonde hair and pretty good looking. I think she was a DG or Phi Mu. Won't say her name but anyone there then remember her?
I remember a girl that used to come to frat parties (probably 00-03ish) and she was in a wheelchair. She would just get wasted.
Not sure if anyone ever hooked up with her.
Not sure if anyone ever hooked up with her.
3
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live in Northeast MS?
I swear that both stories are true. The girl with the wooden leg I wouldn't have believed had I not been at the club (Classix in Columbus) when my buddy picked up this chick.
She was pretty hot to be honest and I didn't know she had a wooden leg until he told me the next morning.
I did notice that she had a slight limp. Thought she may have had an in grown toenail or something........
I swear that both stories are true. The girl with the wooden leg I wouldn't have believed had I not been at the club (Classix in Columbus) when my buddy picked up this chick.
She was pretty hot to be honest and I didn't know she had a wooden leg until he told me the next morning.
I did notice that she had a slight limp. Thought she may have had an in grown toenail or something........
i remember that girl in the wheelchair, she was always sloshing. also remember picking her *** up going down the stairs after Afroman at the sig ep house. what a ***** that was.
also, my current roomie used to give that one-legged girl hellacious anal. he said he never had a girl that liked it that much to beg for it and wouldn't leave. the best part was after rick's, his description of her unscrewing her prostetic leg.
also, my current roomie used to give that one-legged girl hellacious anal. he said he never had a girl that liked it that much to beg for it and wouldn't leave. the best part was after rick's, his description of her unscrewing her prostetic leg.
Quote:_________________________________________________also remember picking her *** up going down the stairs after Afroman at the sig ep house._________________________________________________
I remember that party. U.S and Afroman on Friday and Saturday. That was the Florida game weekend in 2000 I believe. The only reason I remember it is because, at that party, my best friend and I ran a train on some girl. My only time to do that. It was very memorable. Also, that was the best feeling after a win I have ever felt.
amazing how a thread can go from girl with great tits (nice nipple 'sitting way up firm and high') and a great *** to banging one legged chicks and girls in wheel chairs.
the best part of this is the stories are always about someone else. come on guys, fess up, you were the one banging the retarded chick working the fryer at McDonalds (but those titties weren't retarded)
the best part of this is the stories are always about someone else. come on guys, fess up, you were the one banging the retarded chick working the fryer at McDonalds (but those titties weren't retarded)
Where else can you go to read stories about banging one-legged chicks and one-boobied broads nicknamed unitit?
This is pure comedic gold.
This is pure comedic gold.
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It is no girl in a wheel chair or one legged girl story, but it is still a good one.
I had a room mate that started showing interest in a girl at a club and as he would try to talk to her she would point to her ear as to say that she couldnt hear him, so he took it as the music must have been to loud for her to understand him. Well the night when on and they were getting pretty hot and heavy and it wasnt until they got in the car to go home when he realized she was deaf. He just kind of laughed at himself for finding a deaf girl at the bar and then continued on to his place where the deaf thing didnt stop him from bangging her.
And the next morning I thought the girl was just being a ***** as I tried to make conversation with her and then she told me she was deaf. Needless to say I spit my drink all over the room and left the table to go laugh my *** off. I still give him hell about it, but it is still an awesome story.
It is no girl in a wheel chair or one legged girl story, but it is still a good one.
I had a room mate that started showing interest in a girl at a club and as he would try to talk to her she would point to her ear as to say that she couldnt hear him, so he took it as the music must have been to loud for her to understand him. Well the night when on and they were getting pretty hot and heavy and it wasnt until they got in the car to go home when he realized she was deaf. He just kind of laughed at himself for finding a deaf girl at the bar and then continued on to his place where the deaf thing didnt stop him from bangging her.
And the next morning I thought the girl was just being a ***** as I tried to make conversation with her and then she told me she was deaf. Needless to say I spit my drink all over the room and left the table to go laugh my *** off. I still give him hell about it, but it is still an awesome story.
I keep reading this over and over and laughign out loud... with tears in my eyes...
This has been the best off season non sports waiting for summer to be over thread this summer...
Classic! Should be saved!
Now... seeing how it was mentioned...
someone said admit it you were the one that...
somewhere out there one of those chicks brothers is reading this and won't admit it either...
So here is one for you...
5 guys driving along and they see this chick and one "says hey there is "name omitted"... and another says "yea, let's pick her up, she will screw anyone"...
Her brother was in the car with the guys and they realize it and silence falls over the car... as they all look at him... and he says...
"well, it's true..." grins, they all laugh
and by the way... the "old typewriter" reference... too damn funny!
This has been the best off season non sports waiting for summer to be over thread this summer...
Classic! Should be saved!
Now... seeing how it was mentioned...
someone said admit it you were the one that...
somewhere out there one of those chicks brothers is reading this and won't admit it either...
So here is one for you...
5 guys driving along and they see this chick and one "says hey there is "name omitted"... and another says "yea, let's pick her up, she will screw anyone"...
Her brother was in the car with the guys and they realize it and silence falls over the car... as they all look at him... and he says...
"well, it's true..." grins, they all laugh
and by the way... the "old typewriter" reference... too damn funny!
driving round drinking and got behind this car that was just creeping along and had traffic backed up. We were all complaining and one of the guys starts honking the horn and saying "get out of the way ole *****".
It was at the very moment that I came out of my inebriated condition only to notice the woman in the car was my mother...................
What the hell could I do but laugh and pop another top........
It was at the very moment that I came out of my inebriated condition only to notice the woman in the car was my mother...................
What the hell could I do but laugh and pop another top........
Just think of the possibilities........
ENDLESS........................
Hell, you could tie her legs behind her neck........
AWESOME................
ENDLESS........................
Hell, you could tie her legs behind her neck........
AWESOME................
A man was sitting in his chair watching football on tv and throwing peanuts into the air then catching them in his mouth, when somehow he got one stuck in his ear. His wife tried to help him get it out but they had no luck, so they decided to go to the hospital, and as they were getting ready to go, the man's daughter and her boyfriend came down stairs and the boyfriend said I can get the peanut out, I will just stick two fingers into your nose and you blow real hard... and so it worked and the peanut came out. later that night his wife said you know that boy is real smart... he is going to be somebody someday. The husband said I know what he is going to be.. from the smell of those two fingers, he is going to be our son in law.
I had a funny one. My current fiance and I came back from the bar absolutely wasted. I was fingering her all the way home and all that ********, trying to get some ***. We pulled into the culdasack (spelling) and parked. I didnt want to wait.
I rolled over the the passenger seat and started humping. For whatever reason, "Iron Eagle" by King Cobra was on the CD player (I know that is tough; I listen to random *** 80's when wasted). AFter about 20 minutes of half limp dick humping, I gave up. Put the clothes on and got out. Keep in mind, it is about 3 in the AM.
We get out and start walking to the house. All the sudden, just like in the movies, you hear the "slow clap" start. I look up and there is a group of about 8 guys with lawn chairs out, a cooler and cameras. They had just posted up, about 20 feet from the car and just watched. It was hilarious. I ended up knowing a few.
They now call my girl "culdasack girl" when they see her. Got a bunch more way better than this but they would be too long to type.
I rolled over the the passenger seat and started humping. For whatever reason, "Iron Eagle" by King Cobra was on the CD player (I know that is tough; I listen to random *** 80's when wasted). AFter about 20 minutes of half limp dick humping, I gave up. Put the clothes on and got out. Keep in mind, it is about 3 in the AM.
We get out and start walking to the house. All the sudden, just like in the movies, you hear the "slow clap" start. I look up and there is a group of about 8 guys with lawn chairs out, a cooler and cameras. They had just posted up, about 20 feet from the car and just watched. It was hilarious. I ended up knowing a few.
They now call my girl "culdasack girl" when they see her. Got a bunch more way better than this but they would be too long to type.
speakign of a deaf girl, 3 buddies of mine had come into town for a game (don't remember which) and we met some friends who had some other friends and we all went out, had a good time and eventually went back to my place to hook up.
One of the chicks was a fairly attractive deaf girl with some NICE tits. My girlfriend (who later became my wife) was with me, and as we all crashed in various places around the appartment we started to hear some high pitched moaning... so high pitched and "funny" that we thought it was my roomate or somebody just trying to crack a joke.
Well it continued... getting ever so louder... and it really didn't take long to figure out that it was real and that it was coming from the deaf girl. She was enjoying herself tremendously but her "Oh yeah" was coming out more as an "Ah eah" er something... it was like a REALLY bad porno movie.
We couldn't see anything other than to tell she was on top and bucking pretty hard. Anyways, obviously caught up in the moment and unaware of her volume, her moans built and built to a ROARING climax of "Gib it tume, Ah eah, Ah eah, Gib it tume!". My girlfriend and I are burying our faces in the pillows to keep from laughing out hysterically!
"Ah eah, Ah eah, ah EAAAAHHHH!!!!" and then a short pause... and we hear "ugh, where mar my panties?"
Needless to say we gave Brad hell about that (and still do to this day!)
One of the chicks was a fairly attractive deaf girl with some NICE tits. My girlfriend (who later became my wife) was with me, and as we all crashed in various places around the appartment we started to hear some high pitched moaning... so high pitched and "funny" that we thought it was my roomate or somebody just trying to crack a joke.
Well it continued... getting ever so louder... and it really didn't take long to figure out that it was real and that it was coming from the deaf girl. She was enjoying herself tremendously but her "Oh yeah" was coming out more as an "Ah eah" er something... it was like a REALLY bad porno movie.
We couldn't see anything other than to tell she was on top and bucking pretty hard. Anyways, obviously caught up in the moment and unaware of her volume, her moans built and built to a ROARING climax of "Gib it tume, Ah eah, Ah eah, Gib it tume!". My girlfriend and I are burying our faces in the pillows to keep from laughing out hysterically!
"Ah eah, Ah eah, ah EAAAAHHHH!!!!" and then a short pause... and we hear "ugh, where mar my panties?"
Needless to say we gave Brad hell about that (and still do to this day!)
haha. That reminded me of a time we were all in New Orleans. We ran into some girls we knew from OM. Obviously, they were all wasted. I was making out with one of them in the bar but she would have probably made out with anybody that was next to her. Anyway, there were like 20 of her sorority sisters with her.
A couple of the girls, her included, stayed with us on Bourbon and the rest went to pass out. They were showing their tits, etc. We were taking pics. They were mooning people at the cats meow and ****. Good times. Well, me and another guy took the two girls back to their room. The girl dragged me in the bathroom. She threw me on the toilet and just started riding the **** out of me. Aggressive *** ****. She had no clue where she was. Anyway, her friends are beating on the door. I guess they thought I was raping her. It was hysteria as there were like 20 girls crashing in this one room.
Anyway, we kept on going. Eventually, the toilet breaks and water starts spewing everywhere. It's going under the door, onto the carpet, etc. Then, I hear the girls screaming at my friend. I put my clothes on, put drunkass in the tub naked, and walk out. They were bitching at him because while they were beating on the door trying to get old girl out of there with me, he was going around to the beds with passed out girls and lifting up the sheets and their shirts taking pics of ****. Creepy I know. We were wasted. Good times.
Anyway, the next day we rush to get the photos developed from the night before. When we do, Munson and everyone start looking through them and just start dying out laughing. They are pointing at me and ****. I just figured it was some good photos of the sorostitutes passed out naked. Well, it wasnt. You remember me telling you the girl that banged me was mooning people? Well, we took pics of that. I dont know how we didnt notice before BUT.....
When the pics were developed of that, it was blatantly clear that she had **** and forgot to wipe her ***. I mean, there was skidmarks all over her *** and panties. How I didnt notice it I will never know. I think I even went down on her in the bathroom to make it worse. Anyway, they called me skid row for a while after that.
Those pics were great though. Good times.
A couple of the girls, her included, stayed with us on Bourbon and the rest went to pass out. They were showing their tits, etc. We were taking pics. They were mooning people at the cats meow and ****. Good times. Well, me and another guy took the two girls back to their room. The girl dragged me in the bathroom. She threw me on the toilet and just started riding the **** out of me. Aggressive *** ****. She had no clue where she was. Anyway, her friends are beating on the door. I guess they thought I was raping her. It was hysteria as there were like 20 girls crashing in this one room.
Anyway, we kept on going. Eventually, the toilet breaks and water starts spewing everywhere. It's going under the door, onto the carpet, etc. Then, I hear the girls screaming at my friend. I put my clothes on, put drunkass in the tub naked, and walk out. They were bitching at him because while they were beating on the door trying to get old girl out of there with me, he was going around to the beds with passed out girls and lifting up the sheets and their shirts taking pics of ****. Creepy I know. We were wasted. Good times.
Anyway, the next day we rush to get the photos developed from the night before. When we do, Munson and everyone start looking through them and just start dying out laughing. They are pointing at me and ****. I just figured it was some good photos of the sorostitutes passed out naked. Well, it wasnt. You remember me telling you the girl that banged me was mooning people? Well, we took pics of that. I dont know how we didnt notice before BUT.....
When the pics were developed of that, it was blatantly clear that she had **** and forgot to wipe her ***. I mean, there was skidmarks all over her *** and panties. How I didnt notice it I will never know. I think I even went down on her in the bathroom to make it worse. Anyway, they called me skid row for a while after that.
Those pics were great though. Good times.
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