My daughter is fuming at me because, once again, I will not let her stay out after her established curfew. She is a Sr. in highschool. Her curfew is 9PM on school nights ad 11PM on non-school nights. Is this unreasonable? What is your curfew?
What is your child's curfew?
- Thread starter BvillePoker
- Start date
I had no curfew senior year and I committed felony after felony the entire year. I made memories that are still funny today but that's because being bad is really really fun.
I would say 10 pm and midnight for someone that close to being "legal" age. (Senior)
She can get just as pregnant at 8:30 as she can at 11:30.
I know I'll probably end up eating crow when my kiddo is in his senior year, but I'm of the mind that if you've done a halfway decent job of raising them right up to this point, you're going to have to start letting them make decisions on their own. Push back too hard and they may do something stupid just to spite you.
Remember, in a year she's going to be in college away from home, with NO rules being enforced. If you're too strict now, that can really boomerang by their college years. I remember all too well the college freshmen (particularly girls) who seemed to go on a bit of a bender and do some stuff they probably regretted later, just because they had felt too controlled prior to hitting college.
She can get just as pregnant at 8:30 as she can at 11:30.
I know I'll probably end up eating crow when my kiddo is in his senior year, but I'm of the mind that if you've done a halfway decent job of raising them right up to this point, you're going to have to start letting them make decisions on their own. Push back too hard and they may do something stupid just to spite you.
Remember, in a year she's going to be in college away from home, with NO rules being enforced. If you're too strict now, that can really boomerang by their college years. I remember all too well the college freshmen (particularly girls) who seemed to go on a bit of a bender and do some stuff they probably regretted later, just because they had felt too controlled prior to hitting college.
I maintain that nothing good happens after midnight. Watch the news and see how many accidents, robberies, shootings, DUI's, etc. happen after midnight. And the bad guys aren't always the people that get damaged in the early mornings. I know several people that have been killed in accidents after midnight trying to get home after work. From a moral standpoint, the funniest saying I ever heard was "nothing is open after 2am except a pair of legs".
My dad never set a curfew for us growing up. When we came home at 9:00, work the next day was light. Go to a rodeo and get home at 1-1:30, we started at 4:00 the next morning. It really made you think how bad you wanted to stay out.
My daughter is a Jr (just turned 17 last week). She has never had a firm curfew. I don't know if it is the same in OK, but in TX, drivers under 17, legally, can not drive after midnight, and my daughter is a kid who is afraid to break rules, so we don't ever have to worry about her not being home by midnight. As far as school nights go, it has never really been an issue. She is very busy with drill team and honors/AP courses. She doesn't have time for socializing and hanging out on a school night. The bottom line is that we trust her not to get into trouble or put herself in a bad situation regardless of the time. We do require her to call and keep us updated when she arrives at a new location. We are also able to track her phone whenever we want to check on her.
If she asked to stay out later, on a special occasion, I'm sure we would let her. As long as she checked in with us. She knows she can always call us to come pick her up if needed.
So do we make commission if we can convince BvillePoker to push the curfew back an hour? For the record I don't think you are that out of line. If I had a daughter she would be lucky if I didn't make her wear one of those GPS trackers for hunting dogs. At least it would be in the car but from this thread I learned you can track kids from their Iphones.
I never had a curfew. All my friends did so my dad said that's good enough. "What are you going to do, stay out by yourself"? Worked pretty well.
Agree with others that it seems a little early. Add an hour to each. My curfew at that time was roughly midnight, and if it was going to be later, we just set it before hand.
9:30 pm and midnight and your phone has to be trackable AND on your person at all times. Life360 is a free app I use to track them. I like to test them with questions like "where are you?" when I can see where they are. I just want to see if they will tell me the truth. If you give them a little bit of rope, they will try to take a lot more.
Tough question. I've told younger parents that to raise your kids right ... You have to be okay impacting their popularity at times. Personally, I think you need to loosen things as they get older. We all can tell stories about kids who got to college and went crazy, because it's the first time they've really managed their own time. I know that I made mistakes in college, due to the fact I was rebelling against my max midnight curfew (living 20 minutes from town). I was the oldest. By the time the last graduated, she didn't really have a curfew.
So I guess I'm saying ... Prep your kids for the responsibility that will come with managing their own time, once they leave your nest.
So I guess I'm saying ... Prep your kids for the responsibility that will come with managing their own time, once they leave your nest.
Yes. She is going to a local college. We would be a lot more flexible for her if she was the only one here, but with an 11 year old and a HS senior in the house as well, she has an early curfew on school nights because it causes too much craziness when she comes home late. The dogs start barking and it wakes the 11 yr old up.
When our boys were in high school, their curfew was 10 weekdays and midnight on weekends and they did a good job of staying on schedule. A few nights didn't get home until 12:30-ish, but this was more of an exception rather than the rule, so we didn't go ballistic when it occurred. Once they went off to college, the curfew went out the window.