A college football regular season is supposed to end with a bang. This season? It’s a whimper.

We pause in the excitement of a championship chase to bring you – everyone sigh in unison – Week 12.

Two weeks remaining in the college football regular season, and what do we have?

We have no pennant race in the SEC.

We have no pennant race in the ACC.

We have one sideline open in the Big 12 Championship Game.

We have the top two teams in the College Football Playoff rankings looking as if they can lose a game without losing their place in the bracket.

Thank goodness for the Big Ten West, a sentence written by no one ever. There’s a chance for a five-way tie in the Forsaken Division.

Hold my Gatorade, says the Pac-12. Not only could five teams ranked in the top 17 finish tied for the regular-season title with a 7-2 conference record – it’s not that outlandish a scenario, either – but they’re having a tournament this weekend: No. 7 USC at No. 16 UCLA, and No. 10 Utah at No. 12 Oregon.

That’s how a college football season should end, calling up tiebreakers on your browser. We’re supposed to be producing all the outlandish scenarios that could send the CFP officials into paroxysms of panic. All we have on that aisle this year is the possibility that the SEC could put three teams into the playoff.

Which may be enough. Forget 2024 – if the CFP Selection Committee votes Georgia, Tennessee and LSU into the playoff, we’ll have a 12-team playoff approved for 2021.

One supposed feature of the 12-team playoff is that it would keep more fans engaged through November. If we had a 12-team bracket this season, determining the six highest-ranked conference champions and the six highest-ranked at-large teams would keep nearly the entire top 25 in contention.

We don’t have that this season. We have all-but-guaranteed bids for No. 1 Georgia and the winner next week of No. 3 Michigan at No. 2 Ohio State. We have the Buckeyes, thanks to their season-opening win over No. 18 Notre Dame, contending for a playoff berth win or lose. We have the conundrum of what to do with LSU should it upset the Dawgs in the SEC Championship Game. LSU would have beaten Georgia, which beat Tennessee by two touchdowns, which beat LSU by four touchdowns in Baton Rouge. Untie that knot, Gordias.

After that, what? Where did we go wrong? The first 11 weeks of the season provided last-second thrills, incredible highs, devastating lows and that’s just No. 8 Alabama. The Crimson Tide is two plays away from being 10-0 – and two plays away from being 6-4. Tennessee has reminded everyone of the emotional power of winning football. North Carolina has climbed to No. 13 on the back of redshirt freshman quarterback Drake Maye, a second-generation Tar Heels star playing nothing like a freshman.

The Big 12 took its preseason poll, put it in a blender and has served up a delicious season. Perennial doormat Kansas roared to life. TCU, picked seventh in the league, is fourth in the nation. Oklahoma and Texas, the league’s on-field and financial bully, respectively, are being beaten up as they head out the door for the SEC.

The Horned Frogs must win at Baylor, overcome a stingy Iowa State defense, then play (probably) No. 15 Kansas State, which they already beat by 10 points, to make the Playoff. Now that’s running a gantlet.

The SEC? It’s the next-to-the-last weekend of the season and there are only four conference games in a 14-team league. The other six SEC teams play Rent-a-Victims on Saturday. Schedule guru Mark Womack, who may have been in the league office when it opened in 1933, might have known that no matter who won the SEC West, they would have clinched it by now. LSU is playing UAB. No. 8 Alabama is playing Austin Peay. Texas A&M is playing UMass. Oh, wait, that might be a game.

Where else do we turn for nail-biting excitement? No. 2 Ohio State and No. 3 Michigan are one Saturday away from heading into their annual grudgefest with unbeaten records, a treat they haven’t delivered since 2006. The winner will play the Big Ten West champion on December 3 because they have to fill three-and-a-half hours on Fox. Maybe someone can explain how a league that makes more money than anyone else has only three of its 14 teams in the CFP rankings.

The Heisman Trophy race isn’t decided. Buckeyes quarterback C.J. Stroud and Wolverines running back Blake Corum get their callback auditions next week. Tennessee quarterback Hendon Hooker has been a star except for the one week when it counted the most. USC quarterback Caleb Williams will be on the big stage the next two weeks against UCLA and No. 18 Notre Dame.

The race among the Group of 5 conferences for their assigned berth in the New Year’s Six bowls is gripping. No. 21 Tulane plays at No. 25 Cincinnati next week, and the winner likely will play No. 20 UCF for the American championship. No other Group of 5 teams are ranked.

And we have all the remaining great rivalries. The Big Game is this week. So is Floyd of Rosedale and Bedlam. Next week brings the Iron Bowl, the Apple Cup, the Egg Bowl, the Territorial Cup, the Artist Formerly Known as the Civil War and Paul Bunyan’s Axe. When the won-loss records fail us, we always can depend on college football to bring the passion of besting your neighbor. This season, that may have to be enough.