Sunday Superlatives: The best, worst and everything in between in coaching from Week 1
There’s a famous Lewis Grizzard joke about a football game, two dudes and a dog, but rather than focusing on the canine or punchline, this column is all about the Bubba and Earl’s sitting at the 50.
Everyone loves playing Monday Morning Quarterback, so why not have some fun with the sport that we love so much by recapping each week with our favorite coaching calls, calamities, quotes and decisions to punt.
We’ll delve into the analytics another time. This is for the average Joe who turns to his buddy every Saturday and says, ‘I bet we trick’em here.”
Or, “Why did we call that? What were they thinking?”
It was a glorious and raucous return to college football, as Florida upset Utah, Georgia almost hung half a hundred on Oregon, Appalachian State lost despite scoring 40 points in the fourth quarter and Iowa survived with two safeties and a field goal.
So needless to say, there’s plenty of meat on the coaching bone from Week 1.
THE SMARTEST CALL OF THE WEEK
When you have a 235-pound bear with twinkle toes and a jet pack for a quarterback, it always makes sense to just give him the football and get out of the way.
Billy Napier is no dummy.
Florida’s first-year head coach picked up the biggest Week 1 win with a comeback over No. 7 Utah, and it was because Napier delivered on exactly what he promised pregame: He’d let his man loose.
Gators quarterback Anthony Richardson was majestic in the steamy Swamp air on Saturday night, galloping, waltzing and pirouetting his way through and around the Utes’ defense.
With the Gators trailing by four with just 1:25 remaining, Napier told Richardson he was calling the touchdown play — “The game-winner,” Richardson said afterward.
The call?
Go run, Anthony.
The redshirt sophomore scored the third of his three rushing touchdowns on the night, and then Richardson punctuated the evening with an absurd pump-fake, spin move for the 2-point conversion.
“My wife could call plays with that guy at quarterback,” Billy Napier said, unknowingly acknowledging the very point of this column!
Smart man. Sometimes the simplest play is the smartest one, too.
THE COACHING CALAMITY OF THE WEEK
Sometimes it might be a single play call, sometimes it’s an entire game plan, and in Week 1’s case, whatever Scott Satterfield had in mind for his Louisville Cards at Syracuse on Saturday?
He needs to Willy Wonka that plan. As in, scratch it, and reverse it.
Do the complete opposite next week against UCF, Cards.
Louisville — 4.5-point favorites on the road — were utterly dominated 31-7 by a ‘Cuse team that was supposed to have the hot-seat coach.
Satterfield’s squad returned 17 starters, including quarterback Malik Cunningham. This was supposed to be the season they made a leap in the ACC.
Instead, the Cards face-planted in Week 1, looking ill-prepared and undisciplined (three turnovers and a starting OL ejected for targeting).
Satterfield was already feeling some heat in Louisville, and now he’s 0-1 with upcoming games against UCF and Florida State.
Better get to work.
THE KIRK FERENTZ BRAVERY AWARD
Each week, I’ll honor the coach who fearlessly spits in the faces of the stats community and decides to punt anyways.
This award was made for Kirk Ferentz, and Iowa’s coach fully embraced the brand in Week 1 — multiple times.
Despite an average field position on their own 42, the Hawkeyes punted the football 10 times(!!!) in their 7-3 win over South Dakota State.
Ferentz’s favorite call had to be his decision to punt on 4th-and-3 inside the Jackrabbits’ 37-yard line, which landed at the 2.
Iowa pinned multiple punts inside the 5-yard line, leading to a pair of safeties — which was the difference in the game considering Iowa’s offense averaged just 2.7 yards per play.
For Ferentz, punting really is winning.
THE WHY ARE WE MAKING THIS HARDER TROPHY?
The goal line was the Pit of Doom for lots of teams in Week 1.
Utah came up empty twice inside the 5-yard line in its loss to Florida, while Appalachian State squandered a pair of 2-point conversions in a wild 63-61 defeat to North Carolina. UTSA missed several chances to upset Houston, too.
But at least the play-calls were defensible.
Not so in several other games over the weekend, including Illinois’ three-point loss to Indiana and NC State’s fortunate win over ECU.
In both those instances, their offenses opted for a 4th-and-inches inside run out of the shotgun.
In both instances, the play was completely blown up. Like never had a chance in hell.
It cost the Fighting Illini a Big Ten win, while the Wolfpack only survived thanks to college kickers.
At some point college coaches will learn that backing up the football an extra five yards — when you need five inches — rarely is the right move.
At least Illini coach Bret Bielema realized he made a mistake in the moment postgame.
”That fourth-down call, that’s on me to make a better decision. I thought we could go up two scores and obviously, we failed,” he said.
”This is something we have to adjust. It’s plain and simple. It’s the No. 1 thing we have to eradicate from this program. Before you can win, you’ve got to prevent yourself from losing.’’
Well said, Bert.
THE THANK YOU FOR YOUR HONESTY HONOR
Sometimes coaches are so mad postgame that they’ll rip into a candid soliloquy and not realize until mid-rant that they’d said too much.
Other times, they’re so excited about a big win they just pop off on live TV.
Meet Delaware’s Ryan Carty, who earned his first-career win in his head coaching debut at his FCS alma mater with a 14-7 upset over Navy on Saturday.
How’d he feel afterward?
We respect the honesty, Ryan.
CASH THE CHECK COORDINATOR OF THE WEEK
College football coaches get paid a lot of money, and sometimes they even earn it on Saturdays.
See first-year Ohio State defensive coordinator Jim Knowles, who Ryan Day handed a three-year contract worth nearly $2 million annually this offseason to leave Oklahoma State and fix the Buckeyes’ leaky defense.
Knowles’ first impressions were strong.
Ohio State’s defense pitched a shutout in the second half against No. 5 Notre Dame, playing an aggressive, physical, attacking style. Knowles’ unit completely confused Irish quarterback Tyler Buchner in the second half, essentially forcing Notre Dame OC Tommy Rees to stop calling passes. The Irish had just 72 yards on 20 plays after halftime.
Meanwhile, Oklahoma State’s defense — without Jim Knowles in charge — allowed 44 points (yes, lots in garbage time but still) to a middling Central Michigan offense over the weekend.
I’d say the 54-year-old DC earned his check Saturday for sure.
THE NO FREE ADS AWARD
Much like Kirk Ferentz’ obsession with punting, we love us some Sam Pittman.
Arkansas’ head coach discussed the different drink possibilities at parties earlier this week, and after the Razorbacks beat Cincinnati 31-24, Pittman revealed his postgame beverage of choice.
“I’m not promoting it, but I like some ole cold beer, and I think I’ll have one. I’m not promoting it now, though.”