Alex Oriakhi's Academic Advising

An SEC rule prohibits one-year transfers in the conference, but Alex Oriakhi could still join the Kentucky basketball team next season if he chooses to do so. According to Jeff Goodman, Kentucky (or Missouri) can be granted a waiver if Oriakhi chooses to major in something that isn't offered at UConn. That sounds easy enough, right? Well, it's even easier when we do all the work. A KSR reader, Count Blockula, briefly scanned the list of majors offered at both schools and he sent us this list of potential options. I broke it all down to make it easier for Oriakhi to choose from. ********* Agricultural Economics Ag Econ applies the principles of economics to the production of crops and livestock. It's not the ideal major for a 6-foot-9 power forward, but think about what he could do for UK's team in the Future Farmers of America basketball tournament at the National FFA Convention & Expo in Indianapolis this fall! Hey, new kid! No hanging on the rim! Equine Science and Management It's the perfect major for a Kentucky basketball player with a future in the NBA. He could play in the league for a few years, then move back to Lexington and get involved in the horse racing business with all of the money he won playing for the Golden State Warriors. Dollar. Dollar. Bills. Y'all. Family Sciences If he majora in Family Sciences and minors in Spanish, he'll earn a degree in #LaFamilia. #BBN Food Science He'll always have a job at Boone's Butcher Shop if things don't pan out in the NBA. Forestry It's about trees and bears and hiking and stuff. It can't be that hard. Then again, my college roommate failed Forestry his junior year. But we partied a lot. Hospitality Management & Tourism Priceline.com is stealing all these jobs. It's a lost industry. Integrated Strategic Communication ISC majors go on to careers in the areas of Advertising, Public Relations and Direct Response Communication. These classrooms would be perfect for finding people to hire once that first NBA check clears. Interdisciplinary Early Childhood Education That sounds miserable. Next... Interior Design There is nothing wrong with a young man majoring in Interior Design. Male design majors always wear the trendiest clothes, shoes and bags, and they're always out with the girls at the mall, tanning bed, and pole-dancing aerobics classes. That said, Interior Design is better off as an elective course. Japanese Language and Literature With Amar'e Stoudemire's future unknown, the Knicks could be looking to draft a big man. Communication with your point guard is invaluable. Merchandising, Apparel, and Textiles To really fill Amar'e Stoudemire's shoes, he'll need his own clothing line. It all starts with a Merchandising, Apparel, and Textiles education from the University of Kentucky. Swag. Media Arts and Studies This is offered at the School of Journalism. I've never set foot in that building, obviously. Middle School Education This one confuses me. Does a Middle School Education major study to teach Middle School? Or are the classes just really easy? Algebra 1, Social Studies, and Intro to Computers would be a breeze, leaving more time to focus on basketball. Russian Studies Моя собака шла к аллее и купила пять желтых шляп ковбоя. Topical Studies According to the brochure, students who have multiple interests or interests which do not fall into departmental areas may select a topic for concentration instead of a departmental major. Topical Studies offers academic flexibility and allows students to cut across departmental and college lines in constructing meaningful and imaginative programs. So, Topical Studies majors just make up what they're doing and call it a degree. It's topical. ********* As you can see, Oriakhi has plenty of degree programs to choose from if he decides to play basketball at Kentucky. The only issue would be mandatory classes when he's playing in the 2013 Final Four. See Blue.