An Open Letter to Demarcus Cousins

Dear Boogie,

Hey man, how you doing?  I haven’t heard from you in a while.  Things going well for you in the bluegrass?  I’ve been trying to keep one of my eyes on you, but it’s tough with all the carnage I’ve had to deal with.  I did see you use that Forearm Shiver I taught you the other day.  Good form. And yet, your elbow is exactly what I’m writing to talk to you about.

Yes, I saw the knee to the head.  Even my senses wouldn’t have helped me dodge that blow at such a close proximity, that was some kind of cheap shot.  But even when things like that happen, you have to learn to let it go.  You see, much like my enemies, your opponents are going to throw every trick in the book at you.  They know they can’t beat you in basketball, so they are going to try to beat you using dirty, borderline illegal tactics. You can’t let that get to you.

No one else in college basketball is going to get it as badly as you do, I can say that with full confidence.  Teams look at Kentucky, and see that the only possible chance they have of beating you is to take your best players off the court.  Short of tying John Wall up and leaving him in the locker room, their next best option is to make you implode.  Every team knows this, and every team will try it.  The only way it will stop is when you show them that it won’t work. Have faith in the refs that they will keep things clean (even when they don’t,) and let your 18 points and 18 rebounds be your ground and pound to the face. And if one of those other players tries to knee you in the head outside of the basketball court, then you gotta do what you gotta do.  Call me and I’ll take care of it.

I see you’ve taken to using my moniker from time to time, and I think that’s great.  But if you’re going to be me, try and remember what my Uncle Ben always told us when we were growing up, with great power comes great responsibility. Boogie, you have power in the form of basketball talent.  You have the coordination, the skill, the athleticism, and the size to be one of the games greatest, but you have got to learn to control yourself.  You have the power, now use it responsibly.  No one in the NCAA’s can stop you but you, so don’t let them.

Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman,

Peter Parker

Will Lentz is taking up the slack for the absence of nerdiness on the blog, with Fakes departure.  I’m pouring out some of my Red Bull for you, buddy.  Will can be reached at [email protected].