Big Blue Sports Rundown: Apply Directly to the Forehead Edition
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Big Blue Sports Rundown: Apply Directly to the Forehead Edition

Article written by:The Fake Gimel MartinezThe Fake Gimel Martinez

Every week we'll do a quick rundown of the UK Athletic Schedule. Yes, this is just reposting info you can find at the UK Athletics Website. At least it'll be reposted in a nice concise manner.

ChipsOn! Apply directly to the forehead!

Men's Soccer -- What can you do when a Tulsa player's cross bounces off a Kentucky defender and into the Kentucky goal? You fight like hell, lose to #15 Tulsa 2-1, then come back out on Sunday and beat #18 South Carolina 2-0. Tim Crone, who was guilty of the game-losing own goal at Tulsa, made up for his mistake by scoring one of the goals against the Gamecocks. The Wildcats' only match this week is in Birmingham versus UAB at 8PM ET. No word if UAB Basketball coach Mike Davis is instructing the Blazer's Soccer team in proper header form:

Women's Volleyball -- After battling back from a 2-set hole, the Wildcats forced a fifth set against Florida on Friday. But they couldn't pull away in the end, losing to #9 Florida 3-2. Undaunted by this setback, the team rolled into Columbia on Sunday and beheaded the Gamecocks 3-0. (Isn't it nice to see some UK teams beat South Carolina teams?) Kentucky senior Queen Nzenwa was attributed 4 block assists, which puts her in a tie for fifth place for in the SEC records.

This weekend features a two-game home stand, with the Wildcats hosting Arkansas on Friday at 7PM, and Ole Miss on Sunday at 1:30 PM. A special Dig for the Cure promotion will be held for the Ole Miss matchup. You can wear pink to enter the game for $1, with proceeds going to Markey Cancer Center in UK's Medical Center. Save the Boobs!

Men's Tennis -- Kentucky senior Bruno Agostinelli should never be confused for Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno -- our Bruno has no time for fashion or entertainment, he only lives for battle. At the ITA All-American Championships singles draw on Thursday, Bruno won his first round match. Later that day, he faced the nation's currently-ranked #1 player, Oklahoma State's Oleksandr Nedevyesov. Bruno won the first set 6-4, lost a break advantage in the second set to lose 7-5, and then had to withdraw from the match with leg cramps. After a few hours rest, Bruno was back at it again with doubles partner sophomore Brad Cox, as they beat the #3 nationally ranked pair in the nation, 8-6. The next day in the round of 16, Bruno and Brad lost against a team from DEFINITE ARTICLE Ohio State University, 8-5.

The Wildcats also participated in the Louisville Fall Invitational, but the UK Athletics site hasn't posted the full results from it yet. Next up for the Wildcats is hosting the ITA Southeast Regional starting on Thursday and running through the weekend. This will be a good weekend to walk through the tennis courts on campus.

Men's Football -- Hosting Arkansas. We all saw Derek Abney being honored in the end zone this weekend. Somebody detain him and slip him into the lineup. We need more of this:

Rifle -- The DEFINITE ARTICLE Buckeyes was no match to the Rifle Wildcats on Saturday. The Wildcats, winning by a score of 4643-4564, had a solid team effort which included great performances from freshmen Megan English and Ethan Settlemires. The Rifle team's next match is October 24th in Fairbanks Alaska. {insert Palin or Razor Ramon Harris joke here.}

Cross Country -- Idle until the Penn State National Invitational on October 17th. Until then, they are doing some research for the British Ministry of Silly Walks.

Women's Soccer -- The Wildcats didn't do themselves any favors this past weekend. The team couldn't hold on to a 2-1 lead and lost to Tennessee 3-2 on Friday. Then Sunday in Athens, the Georgia Bulldogs won 3-1 and the Kentucky team (not an individual player) was assessed a yellow card at the end of the game. With frustration setting in, the Wildcats continue their road trip with games hosted by Arkansas on Friday (8PM ET) and LSU on Sunday (2PM ET).

Women's Golf -- In the 2008 Mercedes-Benz Women's Championships in Knoxville, the Wildcats had an impressive showing, finishing tied with 2 other schools for 9th place (out of 18 teams). Leading the Wildcats once again was Junior Erica Still, who shot 72-74-71 for 1-over par and tied for 10th place overall. The final tournament for the fall semester occurs on October 24th through 26th at the Derby Invitational in Auburn, Alabama.

Swimming & Diving -- The Swimming and Diving team starts it season this weekend. Evidently, they trained for this weeks' upcoming match at Indiana with a scavenger hunt! (Well, that, and lifting weights, swim practice, all the other athletic things.) The Wildcats visit Bloomington on Saturday at 11 AM ET. I hear the Hoosiers will be suprised by a Triple Lindy:

Men's Golf -- The Prestige at PGA West has been a rough tournament for the Wildcats. After the first two rounds, the Wildcats were tied for 14th place (out of 16 teams). According to the live leaderboard (last looked at on 11:44 AM ET), the Wildcats have pulled into 13th place. Ben Fuqua, recently honored as the SEC Player of the Week, had a terrible first day by shooting 13 over par. The Wildcats' lowest man (as of 11:44 AM ET) is senior Andy Winnings at 10-over for the tournament. Once the Prestige is finished, the Wildcats have one final fall tournament on October 26th at the Isleworth Collegiate Invitational.

Women's Tennis -- The team is idle until the ITA Southeast Regional in Winston Salem, N.C., and the June Stewart Invitational in Nashville, Tenn. Both tournaments start October 17th.

Men's & Women's Basketball -- Pilgrim and Patterson are letting their competitive natures take over. On Thursday morning, they are both going to the dentist to see who has the less amount of plaque. Pregame entertainment includes UK Hoops Coach Matthew Mitchell's Boogie-Down Dance Troupe. Tickets go on sale tomorrow morning at

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