Today the Kentucky Sports Radio crew of Matt Jones, Chris Tomlin and Chris Mosley
are blogging the Bracket Buster Saturday. Here is the result....
So at 2:24am EST, it ends. What began at 1pm today with Appalachian State taking on Wichita State has finally wrapped itself up a mere 13 1/2 hours later. That Appy State game now seems like a faint, childhood memory. I wanted this last post to be somewhat eloquent, but I'm too incoherent due to my weariness. Instead I will try to be factual and at least spell most of the words properly. Looking back on this thing, we wrote A LOT. In our writing we addressed the Appalachian State Old Men, Ralph Willard's white hair, Tomlin's inability to distinguish any of the teams from one another, Rick Majerus' ability to gargle doughnuts, Austin Peay/Akron, Anthony Grant being 17 ft. tall, the faux Rat Pack, Hall and Oates, Outback Steakhouse, Kevin Harvick, Duke Lacrosse, Peoria, the decals on Creighton's floor, Linda Cohn's sixth finger, Stephen King (the player), Stephen King (the author), Beethoven (the dog, not the composer), Lance Armstrong, and a thorough debate of the legitimacy of the military government in Thailand that is only in power as the result of a coup exacted a few months ago. If you read any of this--God Bless You. It was actually a lot of fun for the three of us and, although tiring, was basically a day of watching sports with your friends and making fun of everything in sight--including each other. If you've been waiting for this last post, then read this, take your vitamins, brush your teeth, and slide into your oxygen tent that you sleep in every night to maintain your youthful appearance. Good night.
So it looks like NMSU will complete the comeback and win thanks to Ohio's inability to protect the ball down the stretch. Seriously, Lance Armstrong can keep a ball better than these Bobcats. So tired. Want to sleepy. This game refuses to end. Now we have an injury timeout--although there doesn't seem to be an injury.
For the second time today, we have a game where fans have thrown something on the floor. At Creighton, the crowd was threatened with a technical foul for their Jays if the "disgusting act" was repeated. But here at New Mexico State the PA announcer says, "Please do not throw objects on the floor." That's it. Do you think there was anyone in the stands who thought, "Oh, DON'T throw anything on the floor. I really misread that situation. Now I know better and will not make such a silly mistake again."
Now it's getting interesting. Several players have or will foul out from both teams and NMSU has overcome a 19 point deficit. We could potentially end the day like we started--with a "good old, good one" that comes down to the wire. If we can stay awake, this could be an exciting ending.
Aggies have cut it to one. The big kid from Belgium (Netherlands, France, Oregon, I'm not sure) just fouled out for Ohio. My guess is that you have to be at the absolute bottom of the ESPN announcer totem pole to be assigned this game. It will end at midnight on the west coast, it's between two teams that no one really cares about, and it's New Mexico State vs. Ohio for goodness sakes. To the announcers credit, they are calling this game like it's the seventh game of the World Series. Guess that's the way you move through the announcing ranks--work hard and do a good job even on the little games--either that or be a former professional athlete.
I'm trying to remain lucid enough to actually watch this. New Mexico State is doing there part, playing with energy and trimming the lead to 11. Also, the play-by-play guy just said, in the most flavah-less way possible, "...and they are rocking this joint". Notice that I put the g on "rocking"--he didn't use the apostrophe. Now they've cut it to eight.
Not much going on at halftime. Exact same ESPN recap of the day's games strong that we've seen at least seven times. We don't need a recap because we have seen EVERY SINGLE GAME! Halftime was so boring that we actually considered watching "Beethoven" when flipping through the channels. The thought didn't last long, as we realized a movie about a St. Bernard not named Cujo would be awful. But we did contemplate it. Fi on you, Bracket Busters. You made use consider Beethoven.
Bubba Walther with 17 points for Ohio in the first half. Ohio is up by a lot. This is the worst possible scenario in that not only is this a midnight game after having watched 12 hours of basketball, but it is quickly becoming a blowout. In other news, Ohio apparently has a kid named Stephen King. Now, this young man was born no earlier than 1985. By that time the author Stephen King was a well-recognized name. Why would you knowingly allow your son to be the namesake of the most widely known horror writer in the world?
Three minutes till halftime. We are in the home stretch! I have a newfound appreciation for marathon runners now because this is basically the same thing that they do, except that this is much harder.
The announcers just said that New Mexico State is "not getting any man movement right now." They should really contact Tim Hardaway to remedy that. Ohio's star player right now is named "Bubba Walther." Now if I told you that there was a kid named Bubba Walther in a sporting event on ESPN, what would you have guessed? Nascar? Poker? Funny Car racing? I certainly wouldnt say big-time college basketball....and it isnt big-time college basketball....its Ohio Bobcats basketball.
They just showed the Ohio coach who is "miked up" for this game. He was in the pregame locker room and said, "we are 4,000 miles away from home, the world is against us and we have a national television audience ready to watch us. It is time for us to take control." Coach you are just over 2,000 miles from home, the world could care less and only we are watching you.....perspective my friend.
The great thing about the Bracket Buster teams is that the players are all strange looking....they have odd hair, mediocre body types or old looking uniforms (I am talking to you Ohio)....it is like all of the world's inequities have been taken away and the programs have gone to the YMCA and just picked teams off the side....although there are few guys with goggles. There is something heart warming about this....
You hit a certain level of peace when you have been blogging on mid-level basketball games for over 12 hours.....I cant explain it, but it is truly zen-like. You begin to see all the beauty that is in the world....you realize that since you have been to Oxford, Ohio and Las Cruces, New Mexico, this meaningless, poorly-played game has a strong connection to you. And then you ask yourself....is anyone in America watching this game but us?
So Drexel wins and Bruiser Flint fans rejoice. Now we are to the LAST GAME OF THE DAY....amazingly....Ohio vs New Mexico State.....Frank Solich v Hal Mumme....Buckeyes vs Aliens.....political swing state of the present vs political swing state of the future.....coach no one knows vs coach on a Saturday Morning NBC Show....strap in folks....its gettin good!!!!
We have hit the morning hours.....and we are officially losing sanity. By the way, you know how you have a clutch shooter. You are Drexel and you are up three with less than a minute left....and you miss five straight free throws.....and then you step up and hit the sixth....Ramel Bradley-esque. To pump up the crowd, Creighton is playing "The Final Countdown!" They must not get much new music in Omaha....
With three minutes left, the Creighton-Drexel game is coming down to the wire. A fan just threw a pom-pom on the floor and the announcer just said, "someone just threw a bird's nest on the floor. Where did they get that?" I seriously think all you need to be an announcer on Bracket Buster Saturday is a picture of Stuart Scott naked in Linda Cohn's six-fingered bed.
I think Creighton's coach looks like a fourth grade social studies teacher. If he and Drexel's coach, Bruiser Flint, get into a street fight, take Bruiser Flint.
This Creighton/Drexel game is really ugly. If the game had a smell, I bet it would smell like a manatee. Of the 175 games or so games that are played at a time, the masses only get to see 25-30. The rest are like this game.
ESPN is promoting the crap out of the "Return of the Duke Lacrosse Team". Our idea is for ESPN to just go ahead and say, "HEY, come watch the team that had those rapists".
Outback commercial again. I would've liked to have been at the board meeting where this idea was born: "Hey, I have a great idea. How about if we dump A LOT of our marketing money into this Bracket Busters thing. I don't know much about college basketball, but Creighton/Drexel will probably have millions of viewers." This same conversation probably took place over at O'Reilly Auto Parts. For some reason we all are craving steak and brake pads.
Louisville reserve guard, Jerry Smith, hits a buzzer beater to defeat Marquette and then takes his jersey off and ends up knocking over a middle-aged, female Marquette fan in the ensuing celebration. In the next shot we see Rick Pitino slap a fat guy (probably an equip. manager) on the behind and yell at him to get back to the bench. A Louisville win vexes me.
Holy Cow, Creighton's court is littered with advertisements. It looks like a Nascar. As a matter of fact, I think it qualified to start in the
36th position at Daytona tomorrow. I would really like to see Creighton point guard, Nate Funk, after a win say, "Well, I tell you what, this First National Bank, O'Reilly Auto Parts, Qwest Center was awfully good to us today. There in the first half, it would get a little loose going into Turn 1, but our team was able to adjust the wedge at halftime and get her runnin' real good in the second half."
The focus has shifted to the dunk contest. Gerald Green is simply obnoxious....gettin WAY UP in dunkin over Nate Robinson. Crazy hops.....and in other news Sheray Thomas was not invited. The Dwight Howard sticker dunk was sick and was waaay undervalued.
All of a sudden its a crazy amount of good stuff on tv. You got the Ville-Marquette heading down the stretch, BC-UNC going for a big ending, Drexel-Creighton (ok maybe not), and the NBA Slam Dunk Contest. CRAZY TIME....yet for some reason we are watching GI Jane....such is the life at the Kentucky Sports Radio Compound.
About to begin the dunk contest....there was once a time when I literally could not wait for the dunk contest....found it was one of the most exciting times of the year, Spud Webb, Michael Jordan, Dominique Wilkins, Kenny Sky Walker, etc....now its Tyrus Thomas (who doesnt want to there), Nate Robinson, Dwight Howard, etc. Charles Barkley just said about Thomas, "He's a little guy....when he was at LSU, I think Big Baby was eating all his food."
So we slipped over to watch the NBA All Star festivities. Does anyone know why Magic Johnson is still on television? I mean at this point we know he isnt a good announcer and we have many others who are more entertaining, informative and intelligible. Yet we are still treated to Magic at every opportunity. I just dont get it. I also dont get how we can be ten minutes into Drexel-Creighton, the score is 11-9 and I am still awake.
They just said that there are 17,000 people at the Creighton game tonight and that the arena was as fired up as for any home game in years.....and they are playing Drexel. Makes you wonder what would happen if a real team came to town. I mean if 17,000 are there for Drexel, you would think 25,000 show up for Texas, 35,000 for Maryland, 50,000 for Kentucky and 75,000 for Duke Lacrosse.
Bradley (the favorite mid-major of Kentucky Sports Radio) just closed out VCU. It was a nice win for the Braves and showcases the strength of the Missouri Valley. Next up Drexel-Creighton.....hold on to your tractors!
So far, the most frequent commercials we have seen are 1. Outback Steakhouse, 2. the ESPN commercial featuring Dale Earnhardt, Jr. giving directions, and 3. the Avis rental car commercial featuring a GPS system in every car, the highlight of which is the 80's song, "Total Eclipse of the Heart".
BREAKING NEWS: Barkley defeats Bavetta. In other news, Bradley looks to be cruising, and Bradley's Zach Andrews just used a Shawn Michaels (the Heartbreak Kid) move to jump to his feet while lying flat on his back. Pretty athletic. Also, he grew up in either a foster home or the Foster home--not sure, I wasn't really paying attention.
Bradley now up 8. If Bradley pulls this out, look for cars to be turned over and fires started in Peoria in celebration. The announcers just made mention that Jim Les and Anthony Grant were on the same floor at one point. If they were playing a game of, "Age Gracefully", Grant would win, as Les looks at least 15 years older.
People wonder why the NBA has fallen out of favor with many fans. Look no further than the "Skills Challenge". Kobe, DWade, Lebron, and Chris Paul "competed" in this challenge with each trying to give less effort than the one who preceded him. These guys are only competing because the NBA is making them, and they are giving the NBA a boring performance. The difference between these guys and Tyrus Thomas is that Tyrus Thomas told everybody he wasn't interested in the dunk contest and was only doing it for a paycheck--these guys are making the same statement, only with their actions. It would be interesting to see these guys compete against Brian Cardinal or Chuck Hayes--far less talented players, but with much more hustle.
Bradley now up 5 on a Daniel Ruffin one-handed runner. Another Outback commercial. Not sure why, but I have a hankering for a bloomin' onion...
VCU/Bradley is back on. Bradley center Zach Andrews is unbelievably athletic. Coach Jim Les looks like the "before" on a "Just for Men" commercial.
We stopped in for the beginning of the Boston College/N. Carolina game, and it looks like BC has a frontcourt starter named John Oates. Apparently, they have a little used freshman guard named Darryl Hall who would see the court if not for his ridiculous mustache and insistence on humming "Maneater" when he steps on the court.
It is becoming increasingly obvious to us that ESPN employs more people than Wal-Mart.
Any bake sale organized by a local volunteer fire department would have to be more organized (and more entertaining) than this nonsense on NBA All-Star Weekend--particulaly the current player, lady player, old player team shooting competition. The clock never worked properly, the referees didn't know the rules, and George Gervin is approximately 209 years old. Bill Laimbeer's basketball skills look awful. How did he ever play in the league? He certainly could never have played for VCU, who is beating Bradley at the half.
Bradley-VCU is quite a game...Bradley has one of the best players you have never heard of in Crouch and VCU has a coach who looks like he could get on the court and play right now. Utah State just won on the road at Oral Roberts.....looks like Pat Robertson's decison to supply the Aggies with steroids prior to the game paid off.
At the NBA All Star Saturday Night, Craig Sager just asked Queen Latifah what she thought about Scottie Pippen trying to come back. Soon thereafter, they asked Tom Chambers what he thought about Tone Loc's attempted comeback. Michael Cooper just missed 14 straight threes from the top of the key....that is a Gregg Doyel-esque performance. And finally Bill Lambieer is in an NBA uniform and seems to weigh approximately 350 pounds.....it looks as if the peak of his career was really "Bill Lambieer's Combat Basketball"
Even though it is not officially a Bracket Buster game, this Gonzaga-Memphis battle is the game of the day. Memphis is one of those teams that once conference season begins, you forget they exist. And now they go into Gonzaga and win....in large part because the Zag players were given a free gift of portabellas before the game. John Calipari is beginning to look quite odd...he has put on some weight, losing a bit of hair....he and Rick Pitino look like guys on their second divorce, hanging out at local bars, hoping that the young ladies remember them and are impressed by their expensive suits. They are somewhat sad.
Flipping over to the All-Star game for a moment, we see a group of Rat Pack impressionists who a.) the players, who are mostly under 30, likely have never heard of, and b.) has a Sammy Davis Jr. impressionist who looks like a poor man's Stuart Scott. They're doing a comedy bit that, I'm assuming, no one wants to see. Let's hope that stays in Vegas.
As Dick Bavetta and Charles Barkley prepare to run a completely ridiculous race that, like most things that go on during NBA All-Star Weekend, has nothing to do with NBA All-Stars, Gonzaga and Memphis go into overtime tied at 69. Zags coach Mark Few claps, strangely happy with the outcome. Perhaps this is because he is high on "psychadelic mushrooms."
VCU coach and former Billy Donovan assistant Anthony Grant cuts a frightening swath on the sideline, because he is seventeen feet tall. Elsewhere, a debate breaks out in the KSR Compound concerning Oral Roberts University's recruiting and scholarship policy. The consensus is that when you sign, you're told "Here's your uniform. And here's the Jesus fish for your car."
We are watching Bradley's coach Jim Les....to put it simply, we hate him. At a game earlier this season, we watched Les dress down a media person who had the audacity to ask him to break the game down half by half. In other news, Steve Kerr looks exactly like Doogie Howser. Although Steve Kerr hasnt come out of the closet yet. Oral Roberts and Utah State are going in the second half....but for some reason the video of Charles Barkley training for his race with Dick Bavetta has me captivated.
New game starting--Virginia Commonwealth v. Bradley. That could easily be a court case: "Now calling the Commonwealth of Virginia v. Bradley". In other news, we just switched over to the NBA Slam Dunk Contest and they started talking about Dr. J , "putting the Contest on the map." Personally, I have never seen a map with a dunk contest listed.
We just saw highlights of the Kevin Stallings/Joakim Noah "exchange". If you haven't heard, a ball went out of bounds near the Vanderbilt bench and bounced into Coach Kevin Stallings' arms. Joakim Noah them came over and proceeded to grab after the ball while it was still in Kevin Stallings possession. Stallings turned his body away to obstruct Noah, but Noah continued to grab (yes, this all sounds very pre-school). Stallings then slapped Noah's arms away and Noah looked to the ref to restore order to the madness before again reaching for the ball. It was all very juvenile, but we were very excited by this altercation and can only hope both parties will file civil suits against one another. I can see Noah coming to court with a cast on his leg and a neck brace.
We're now twenty minutes past hour six of the Bracket Busting marathon and let me assure you, brackets are being busted everywhere. That is, if you are anal enough about NCAA competition to have already formed your brackets, which would be rather ridiculous at this point. Nevada leads Northern Iowa 48-35 with 14:51 left to go in the second half. An upset by Northern Iowa would indeed be, by definition, a "busting" this evening, as Nevada is currently ranked 10th. This, however, is increasingly less of a possibility. At this point of the bracket busting evening, a close game wouuld be nice, as weariness begins to creep in. There's always Ohio and New Mexico State!
And we're BAAAACK! Nice dinner break at the Oxmoor Mall food court and now we are back. Looks like Utah State and Oral Roberts just begun and the second half is starting for Northern Iowa vs Nevada. Looks like Bob Valvano is calling the Nevada game.....at this point ESPN is clearly getting desperate. We are not too far awy from a game called by Andy North and Sean Salisbury's camera phone (props if you get that reference).
Well after taking a vote (2-1), we have decided to take a dinner break until the 7 pm games begin. So we are taking five......come back this evening for more Bracket Busting action!
I feel bad that we havent given the Austin Peay-Akron game the attention it deserves...I know you feel bad as well. Southern Illinois wins and yet another game leaves us speechless.....one has to wonder if Bracket Buster Saturday can get any more exciting.....and then you find out that Northern Iowa-Nevada is up next.....and you realize there is a God!
This Southern Illinois-Butler game is living up to the other games....coming down to the end. Majerus sounds as if he is gargling doughnuts while calling this game. Butler down three with a minute to go.
The play-by-play guy just said that a particular player is SIU's "fire and brimstone guy". I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I think that he might be either a satanist or a preacher.
Watching a game called by Rick Majerus is like watching a game with you high school basketball coach uncle. He's not especially polished, but he knows the game and he's funny at times. A.J. Graves looks really pale and sick. It could be bird flu, or maybe scurvy, or maybe he ate some Peter Pan peanut butter last night. Either way, Butler's Pete Campbell has stepped up and hit big 3 after big 3 to keep this game close.
So far, Bracket Buster Saturday is actually turning out to be a series of fairly decent barnburners. The Salukis lead Butler 44-35, in what actually might be the most important game of the day so far, with So. Ill ranked 15th and Butler at 12th. With 9:32 left to play, superstar A.J. Graves only has 3 points, a lackluster performance.
So. Illinois 39, Butler 35, a score no way reflective of what might occur should a bulldog actually take on a saluki in real life. Rick Majerus continues to be amazed at the game play. Although he may simply be happy to be, for a few hours, out of the hotel room he lives in because he watched all the Spectravision new releases in a Friday night movie marathon fueled by donuts and Vault.
Akron-Austin Peay began, continuing the alliteration theme for Bracket Buster Saturday. If you are tuning in for coverage of that game however, you may want to take a break until 6 pm.....we are focusing on Southern Illinois-Butler....as is all of America!
The second straight game of Bracket Buster Saturday comes down to the last play....this time the Hofstra Pride make two free throws with two seconds left and put together a big home win. Two games down today, two close finishes.....and two games where Tomlin was unsure which team was which.....great day!
Kentucky loses....we are so arrogant that our players knock the ball out of the baskets on purpose....just to tease. Watching the Hofstra cheerleaders, I think there are 2-1 odds that those cheerleaders could out drink anyone on this board. One minute to go, Holy Cross up one.....
Number 00 from Holy Cross (Dan Clifford?) was just taken out of the game and proceeded to sit on the bench and wipe his face while wincing wildly as if he were sobbing uncontrollably. Of course we laughed at this a great deal. I'm not sure what a 39 year-old basketball player has to cry about unless he's having trouble paying his mortgage.
The play-by-play guy for the Hofstra/Holy Cross matchup just stated, "Hofstra has the best backcourt combo in America." He then proceeded to name other "top-flight" backcourt combinations and named them in this order: 1. Hofstra, 2. New Orleans, 3. Virginia. Now I am no professor of college basketball, or even a high school graduate, but I have to think that there are at least a few backcourts in the country that are better than Hofstra and/or New Orleans.
Over to Hinkle Fieldhouse for the Butler, Southern Illinois game. A little while ago our trusty announcers informed us that Larry Byrd and John Wooden once played there, as well as Jimmy Chitwood
. Yes, that
Jimmy Chitwood. They also referenced the time Jake Taylor led the Indians to the World Series in 1989 and the Whoopi Goldberg's brief stint coaching the Knicks.
Back to Hampstead, New York. You're impressed that I know where Hofstra is? Don't be, the goodfellas calling this game just fed us that information. I don't doubt that they have a few comrades buried in the foundation of this arena, but there's no way they're going to admit that on the air.
Southern Illinois has a player names "Falker".....so far that is the highlight of this game.
The Southern Illinois-Butler game is obviously the highlight of this day. ESPN responded in kind by sending Rick Majerus to announce the game. A minute ago I think he said, "good thing these Butler cheerleaders are here....now I dont have to get a movie in my hotel room."
After much debate, we are assuming that one of the Holy Cross cheerleaders has nasty birthmarks on her legs and in solidarity the decision was made to wear pants.
The 2nd half of Hofstra/Holy Cross has begun and Tomlin, again, isn't sure which team is which. It appears that in the front row there is either a woman with a fur coat or a Sasquatch of some kind. Also, Hofstra's cheerleaders are wearing pants; very conservative--Holy Cross must be some kind of religious school. The more we watch, the more we become convinced that Hofstra's gym is on par with a high school. It seats approximately 1,500, people are walking on the baseline constantly with drinks and hotdogs, and my guess is that there are several mothers yelling at the coach that, "My baby oughta be playing right now!"
We are minutes away from the battle between the Southern Illinois Salukis vs. the Butler Butlers--a bona fide top 25 matchup. My butler once had to to battle a saluki and the result was not pretty. Keep your eyes on Butler guard A.J. Graves and prepare to say to yourself, "there's no way this kid is any good. He keeps just hitting lucky shots." The fact is, Graves has been consistent all year and, despite his small stature, is a legitimate All-America candidate. If Butler is hitting from outside, expect a great game. If they are not, SIU's superior athleticism and front court play will propel them to victory.
You know you are knee deep in Bracket Busting when you see the same promo about the best bracket busters of the past for the second time in two hours. I have learned about Gonzaga's "magical run", Kent State, Navy, Princeton and George Mason.....again and again. We almost have the promo memorized.
Attention to this game seems to be low even in the production booth, as we just saw a thirty second shot of children waving followed by a shot of someone on press row browsing a women's basketball website. Way to keep the excitement at 11!
33-26 in favor of the Hofstra Pride, which I hope is a reference to a pack of lions, and that Hofstra wasn't so cavalier as to adopt an abstract feeling as a mascot. Hofstra continues to build on top of the Crusaders, which makes me long for the action of the Wichita State/Appalachian State game. Sure, the blinding yellow was a little much, but the play was closer. And Wichita's arena seemed a little more official than Hofstra's high-school-esque digs.
Listening to the commentary on the Holy Cross/Hofstra game is like listening to the cast commentary for Good Will Hunting. A minute ago I could have sworn they told me that it would be "strongly suggested" that we stay tuned, and I think I heard the sound of lead pipes being casually and threatiningly slapped against palms.
Kevin Harvick just won the Busch race at Daytona. His strategy? Driving his car the fastest. Take note, competitors!
We do have to address the Ralph Willard hair situation. For those of you that dont know, he fought a hard battle with cancer, going through chemo and then having his hair grow back white. He went from hair like Billy Donovan to hair like Christopher Lloyd....an odd transition to say the least....but he might be ready for "Back to the Future 4" if it gets made. Michael J Fox may or may not be ready.
Hofstra-Holy Cross is playing in what looks to be Dunbar's gym filled with thousands of fans dressed as empty seats. I dont know if these people understand that this is Bracket Buster Saturday.
IT looks like Hofstra recruited Tony Shaloub for their most recent class. Whereas the last game overwhelmed us with yellow and black (the colors of both teams), this game has an obscene amount of bright blue.....these colors would be blinding on HD. And oh yeah, its a Colonial game and no John Feinsten.....what gives?
Holy Cross and Hofstra....Tubby has on a mock turtle neck for the Alabama game. Holy Cross and Hofstra announcers just said there would be "no game in America with better guards".....I dont believe them.
With six seconds left, Appalachian State's Thompson hits a deuce that Wichita State can't answer, and the game belongs to the App. State Old Men.
And that's the game that was, folks. Appalachian State over Wichita State. Before we move on to Holy Cross and Hofstra, let's take a moment to think back on the good times. We really enjoyed sharing that game with you. Remember that time that you made a joke about that team or player, and we all laughed? That was hilarious. Good one. Do you need something to drink? Seriously, we've got some stuff in the fridge. No way, you didn't tell that guy that. That's crazy. It's great hanging out with you. Hey, you want to stick around for Holy Cross and Hofstra? That's cool. We'll microwave this pizza. Sure, the bathroom's down the hall. You might have to hold down the handle on that toilet.
It's safe to say brackets are starting to crack ever so slightly. Truly, an absolute busting is inevitable. Now onto the next game, Holy Cross and Hofstra
Little Dirk hits the big 3!!!! Tie game with 17 seconds to go. And oh yeah, Florida is gonna lose
We've been trying to determine what the nickname for Appalachian State is this entire game, but the commentators refuse to say and Appy State only has "Appalachian" on their uniforms. The only clue we've been able to find is on the back of the warm-up jerseys. It appears to be the picture of a man wearing a hat with a long, flowing beard. Thus, we can only assume that this team is the Appalachian State Old Men.
Two minutes to go.....Wichita State and Appalachian State tied.....forget Florida-Vandy....go to the U!!!!
We have declared that when Kentucky Sports Radio rules the world, Appalachian will be a state.....and the cheerleaders will be blue.
OK, we admit that we are turning it back and forth to Vanderbilt and Florida. Lots has been going on....threes are falling, Kevin Stallings is losing his hair and Dan Skuchas just dunked on Joakim Noah. Over at our feature game, Appalachian State and Wichita State are neck and neck with eight minutes to go. Kyle Wilson sure has long hair....wonder if when you are guarding him, it tickles.....
This game appears on ESPN U. ESPN also has their flagship network, ESPN 2, ESPN News, ESPN Classic, and ESPN 360. I think it is safe to assume ESPN is seeking to conquer the broadcast world and will perhaps next invade the Home and Garden Channel and play college hockey 24 hours/day. This got us to thinking about what ESPN's next channel option will be. Tomlin has suggested ESPN Future to counter ESPN Classic, Matt thinks ESPN Comedy, but I think the ESPN channel will most likely be a hybrid between ESPN and Country Music Television. Imagine Kevin Garnett singing "The Dance". Brilliant.
Wichita State leads 38-36. Of course, that could change by the time this sentence is completed as the game continues to bandy back and forth.
Attention, those who are not fans of Wichita State or Appalachian State. Vanderbilt is beating Florida. I repeat, Vanderbilt is beating Florida. Tune in now to see a.) Joakim Noah acting like a complete ass as Florida comes back, beating his chest and roaring, or b.) Joakim Noah acting like a complete ass as he continues to perceive that his team is being cheated.
Whoever is purchasing ad time for Outback Steak House is, seriously, the best in the business. By the end of this day, I'll either want to eat there or never want to see that place again in my life.
The ESPN U cameras showed the Appalachian State coach giving his halftime speech. The coach said "you guys proved in the first half that you belong here....no one questions now whether you belong here." Really coach? You belong where.....in Wichita? I mean its not like we are talking abour a road game in Durham here...."Yes kids you have proved, you can compete in Waco.....dont let anyone tell you otherwise!!!!"
Halftime of the main event. Wichita State leads by one. This could be a long day. Every day looks long however for Mark Turgeon who looks like he was created when someone made a copy of Billy Donovan....and then made a copy of that copy. He is Billy Donovan meets the Jeff Van Gundy.
The announcers just said that Wichita State "had to win this game to have a hope to make the tournament". Not a good sign if Appalachian State is a "must-win".
Close game so far, pretty evenly matched. Wich. St. 20, App St. 19. Three certainly seems to be the magic number, especially for WichState. Wouldn't call this, at this point, "shocking," yet the Shockers may yet amp up their power. Macy Gray is simply unstoppable right now from three point land.
Vandy/Florida is on elsewhere on your channeling dial, though we can't possibly understand why on earth you'd want to be watching that
and not this.
A lot of our focus today will be on Coach Mark "Orthopedic" Turgeon, who is occasionally bandied about as a potential future Kentucky coach. Turgeon has done an amazing job in Wichita and is known as a student of the game. Plus he has a Rasheed Wallace/John Henson white spot in his hair that I find strangely mesmerizing. We are about halfway through the first half, Wichita St leading Appalachian State 14-10.
The announcer for this game is a guy named Mac McCauland....boy ESPN had to go DEEEEP on their roster for Bracket Buster day. It wont be long before they have to have Martin Newton do a game. Looks like Crab Man took some time off from "My Name is Earl" to shoot threes for Wichita State (3-3).
Appalachian State's coach is allegedly named "Houston Fancher," his nom de plum
for college basketball and his one man Broadway show "I am Fancher." Wichita State has a player who looks exactly like Dirk Nowitski.....not a little like Dirk, but exactly like Dirk. His name is Kyle Wilson and he has the shaggy blond hair, the odd-release shot and British-like teeth. He bears watching.
We begin the day with Appalachian State going up against Wichita State. They say this is the largest crowd in Wichita State history. It beat out the 2001 Monster Jam Truck Pull (with special guest Jerry Lawler).
Well its time for the day that everyone has waited for....the day that shuts down most of America in anticipation....yes ladies and gents....its Bracket Buster Saturday!
We will be here all day (and night) giving our take on all the games that you are not watching. Here is the lineup:
Appalachian State v. Wichita State
1 p.m. ESPN U
Holy Cross v. Hofstra
3 p.m. ESPN U
Southern Illinois v Butler
4 pm ESPN 2
Austin Peay v Akron
5 pm ESPNU
Northern Iowa v. Nevada
6 pm ESPN 2
Utah State v. Oral Roberts
7 pm ESPN U
Bradley v VCU
8 pm ESPN 2
Drexel v Creighton
10 pm ESPN 2
Ohio v New Mexico State
12 pm ESPN 2