Confessions From the Undergrad

One of the more fascinating elements of the college social circuit, is that occasionally your circuit intersects with the paths of the ‘celeb.’ athlete. Such was the case last night. I was at a certain local, “world famous” waterin’ hole, when I noticed the superfluity (FINALLY I found a place for that word) of familiar faces amongst the reveling masses. In the dense sea of hair gel, short skirts, glittered cleavage, and four inch heels–standing out like Kevin Pittsnogle at a country club–were (to protect such valuable goods from public ridicule, I will mask the identities of the current ‘Cats in attendance): Rajon Rondo, Erik Daniels, Josh Carrier, a certain point guard of the smoothest variety, a very tall awkward kid, and Sheray Thomas. Rondo, fresh off an impressive summer league campaign, was in all likelihood the only millionaire at the bar. Life: it’s funny. He came clad in the ‘freshest’ Boston Celtic merch.; when you’re that wealthy you can wear gym shorts to the bar. However, you can’t apparently scrounge up enough loot to buy shots, which my friend found out first hand when I told her of his new fortunes. “Nah” was the punctual response overheard. This isn’t the first time I’ve spotted Erik Daniels out on the town…in fact, when I go a weekend without seeing his cornrows and bling, I begin to worry about him. Is he hurt? Sick? Maybe he just found something to do besides going to college bars in Lexington, I tell myself. The gettin’ must be awfully good for the big fella here in town, or maybe he just relishes the pristine beauty and tranquil milieu of Lexington that much. A certain smooth point guard appeared to be the maestro of the entourage. His court presence and hustle was hard to ignore, as he ubiquitously made his rounds. One positive to note for Cats fans: on several occasions this certain smooth point guard was seen unselfishly setting up teammates with one dime after another. Most of the evening however, entailed my friends and I plotting ways in which we could take down Sheray Thomas. After deciding that the Jeff Gillooly method was a touch risqué and that prison was no place to round out your twenties, we wisely abstained. After all, he’s actually a pretty nice, laid back cat…which explains why he cannot play basketball. The comic relief came in the form of the tall awkward kid. Talk about a fish out of water. I’m sure his invite to the bar came by default: Rondo: Let’s hit up the club E-diddy. I just signed that phat contract, and you’re about to ink another swolle D-League deal…time to spend that cheddar on dollar wells. E-Diddy: I don’t even know you that well, but you did play at UK…Ok, I’ll call Sheray and a certain smooth point guard. Sheray (sitting at the lodge with a certain smooth point guard): “I’m telling you man, I grabbed rim yesterday, it just so happened that I was the only one in the gym to see it. Anyway, E-Diddy called me; him and Rajon are headin’ to the club and want us to meet em up there.” Tall awkward kid (walking into the room and catching the last bit of the convo): The club! Sweet! Can I come guys!? Can-I, Can-I, Can-I?” Certain smooth point guard (rolling his eyes): Yeah, whateva man. Just…just don’t do anything goofy this time, aight? Tall awkward kid: Rad! (walking out of the room) Go shorty, it’s your birthday! And we’re gonna party like…” As for Josh Carrier, he didn’t really do much. Surprise. Since this was strictly a business outing for KSR, and not pleasure, I did my best to eavesdrop on the entourage the best I could. The most I could decipher was the occasional Tom Gray fan coming up and asking if Kentucky was going to “go all the way” this year, and the frequent hussies offering up their phone numbers and dignity. I did hear Rondo murmur the words “crazy” and “coach”, though not in succession. So where is this post’s relevance or purpose? I’m not sure. Even more peculiar is why Rondo and Daniels come back to Lexington to “chill” with current players. Could it be that the player’s liked Rondo all along? Or are they just hoping to get a taste of those Benjamins. Does Erik Daniels have anything to do? Where was Ravi Moss? And for that matter, why was tall awkward kid invited at all? These questions and more will (not) be answered in the next installment of, “Confessions From the Undergrad.”

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