Faux-hawk makes latest attempt to get us to like him

Hunter Campbellover 11 years

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hawkdg Maybe it's because he told us that Carolina is a better all-time program than Kentucky, and he's sorry. Maybe it's to make amends for coming on a KSR liveblog and typing like my grandmother. Maybe it's because his presence on a podcast intimidated Andy Katz so much that he didn't show up at all (this is mainly speculation). Maybe it's because we make fun of his hair, and he wants us to stop. Whatever the reason, Gary Parrish of CBS has spent his Monday showing the Cats some love. First, he ranks the Cats #1 in his brand spankin' new Top 25 (and one), ahead of the Longhorns that keep them from their rightful place atop of the mountain in the other rankings. This isn't necessarily a surprise, since he's had the Cats ranked ahead of Texas for most of the season, but seeing that '1' next to 'Kentucky' feels pretty good, even if it is basically worthless. Parrish also finds reason to praise DeMarcus Cousins, one week after roasting Boogie for using 'his forearm to try to put Jared Swopshire's head through the Rupp Arena court.' He even penned an entire column talking about how Boogie's temper could eventually cost Kentucky a shot at a title. The Hawk manages to balance out his slightly misplaced spearing of Cousins with some recognition for the big fella's ability to stay cool Saturday:
He got dunked on, lost his headband once, and three Georgia players fouled out basically trying to guard Cousins, meaning he was fouled an awful lot. Still, there were no issues. Each time, Cousins just walked away and kept going about his business. If he learns to do that, Kentucky's going to be dangerous the rest of this season, and then Cousins will be super rich right after it.
Admittedly, Parrish had been basically vapor to me since the Carolina incident. But, after seeing how he's trying to make a real change in his life, I must say that absolutely nothing has changed. If hating on the guy got him to rank us #1 , why would I stop now? It'll have to be better than that to win me over. And a lifetime supply of Paul Mitchell products isn't gonna do it either. I'm sending them back. (These parentheses are to say that I'm obviously having a little fun with Parrish, who has always been good to the site. And to beg him not to send Gregg Doyel after me.)

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2021-09-28

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