These are a Few of my Favorite Kentucky Derby Things

On3 imageby:Nick Roush05/03/22

RoushKSR

Steve Buttleman trumpeting the call to the post. Fading all of the horses from the west coast. A swig from a warm flask of bourbon that stings. These are a few my favorite Kentucky Derby things.

As a teenager I worked security at Churchill Downs for Kentucky Derby week alongside an MP from Fort Knox. An outsider at his first Derby, there was one thing he could not quite wrap his head around, asking many patrons, “Why is this such a big deal?” It’s difficult to explain to a newcomer how and why a 2-minute horse race captivates an entire region. It’s much more than that. The little things are what make the Kentucky Derby so special.

Dusk at the Downs

Even though Derby Week festivities kick off earlier and earlier each year, it does not feel like Derby until you see the sun rise over the Twin Spires. The sights, sounds and smells of the horses training provide a preview of the fun that is to come. All it takes is one good look at a horse to know that is the one that will make history by the end of the week. The experience cannot be complete until one enjoys a hearty breakfast at Wagner’s.

The Kentucky Derby Call to the Post and My Old Kentucky Home

For about five minutes on the first Saturday in May, the Commonwealth comes together as one, united by the bugler’s call to the post and the singing of My Old Kentucky Home. The final rite of passage before the horses race, the emotions wrapped in anticipation create a feeling that cannot be replicated anywhere else. Weep no more my lady, the Derby is here.

An Invisible Kentucky Derby Beer Line

Last year Churchill Downs made a shift to all-inclusive tickets on the frontside of the track for Oaks and Derby. That change, along with lower attendance for COVID-19 restrictions, cut the long lines for drinks in half. Even in the Infield where it costs $12 for as domestic 16 oz. beer, the beer lines were non-existent. The small victories are the most important on a big betting weekend and this one is near the top of the list.

Successfully Sneaking in Contraband

Churchill Downs has placed more restrictions on what you can bring into the Infield, making it more difficult to hide a case of beer in the false bottom of a cooler. However, you can still find a way to bring in a flask of booze or two. No matter how old you get, there’s still a thrill in getting away with something you’re not supposed to.

Exactly One Mint Julep

Moderation is a concept that does not always get used during Derby Week. This should apply when consuming a mint julep. The signature drink of the Kentucky Derby is hated on by many and loved by some. In a hot take world, it’s easy to trash the refreshing beverage. I will not bash the light, frosty drink, but I will say, you can’t spend your whole day guzzling them down (especially at a $17 price-tag). My pro tip: Purchase one, pull out half of the enormous mint, take a sip or two or three, then dilute the sugary sweetness with some of the bourbon you snuck into Churchill Downs.

The Backside Horse of the Week

You don’t have to know what times are good and bad from the Derby Week works. All you have to do is keep your ear low and you’ll hear which horse is bringing all of the right kind of buzz into the track. Do the fast times in practice always translate to wins? Of course not, but it worked last year, kind of. Mandaloun was the most talked about horse in the lead up to Kentucky Derby 147 and even though it did not finish first, Brad Cox’s horse is the official winner that will go down in the history books.

Kentucky Derby Infield
(Photo by David Turnley/Getty Images)

“Who’s Your Kentucky Derby Horse?”

An experience taken away by COVID-19, last year’s Derby was the first large, mostly mask-less event in America. It was a pleasant reminder of all that we missed from casual social interactions. Conversations with strangers quickly turn from, “What’s your name?” and “Where are you from?” to “Who’s your Derby horse?” The answer to that final question rarely sways your opinion, but if you run into the right person with ties to the right horse, it can fatten up your wallet before the day’s end.

Accidentally Cashing a Ticket

Wagering on the races is no longer exclusively with cash at the windows. Outlets, like our friends at NYRA Bets (promo code KSR25), allow you to make a quick bet from your phone. Sometimes those buttons get hard to push after a couple of cold drinks. Accidentally adding a horse to your ticket can be costly, until it ends up in the winner’s circle. Few surprises are greater than thinking you lost the race, only to check your ticket and realize you have a winner.

Early Race Day Wins

A good shooter can gain confidence by watching a few free throws go through the net. The same applies to handicapping horse races. On Friday and Saturday there will be three or four races that go off before noon, giving each person a chance to build that bankroll. Accompanied by a Bloody Mary, early wins are a sign of a great day to come at the racetrack.

Blindly Betting Brad Cox

Not every handicapping system is sophisticated. My wife will bet the No. 2 all day. My system is almost as simple. If the South End’s native son, Brad Cox, wins a race, we’re all winners.

Dumb Luck

It’s often better to be lucky than good at the racetrack. One soggy first Saturday in May I picked winners for every single race by 10 am. By 4 pm I had zero winners. Down on my luck with only a few shekels remaining, I threw $2 across the board on a horse called Funky Duck. “A duck horse has to be good in the rain, right?” It was good enough to win at 92-1. It only takes one lucky pick to make a bettor’s day.

Watching a Friend Win Big

Even if you aren’t the big winner, experiencing that moment with a friend is just as rewarding, even though that money isn’t going into your pocket. Barred from the track in the fall of 2020, a buddy who was down on his luck reversed his fortune on Derby Day when Sittin’ on Go finished first in the Iroquois Stakes. That winner cashed a Pick 6 ticket that was worth a year’s salary. It was the first and only win of the horse’s career. We didn’t get a year’s salary, but we were all winners on that first Saturday of September.

Enormous Derby Hats

The bigger and gaudier, the better.

Losing Buttons Throughout the Day

The long Derby days at Churchill can wear on a man. On the front side it might just be a top button that helps someone let loose. In the Infield the day starts with one button undone and ends with the shirt completely wide open, one sign of a successful day of debauchery.

The Long Walk to and from the Track

Getting in and out of Churchill Downs on the first weekend of May is no easy task. It can be incredibly taxing and frustrating. The key to a wonderful weekend is setting those aside to enjoy the little things. There’s an overwhelming sense of anticipation while finishing your road beers en route to the gate. On the way home, nothing tastes better than the hot $3 hot dog somebody just took off the grill. Finding your way home may be a challenge. As horrible as that experience may be at the time, it can create an unforgettable story.

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2024-03-28