First KSR Mailbag: Louisville Hate Edition

This picture has nothing to do with a mailbag.  But it was the most awesome picture I was sent.  Sent in by Scott and Annie Thompson, straight from their UK themed bathroom.  Seriously.

By now you likely fall into one of two categories.  You either skip over every blog I post when you see the ‘Will Lentz’ name, or you have heard that I am starting a KSR mailbag.  Either way, good on ya.  We got quite a response from fans, and believe it or not, some of the mail is actually useable.  Some of it will appear in later mail bags, but because I didn’t want to load too much on you all the first go ’round, I’ve only included five today.  If yours didn’t make the cut, don’t get discouraged, it might show up later.  Or maybe yours just sucked.  Either way, keep sending me emails.

Here we go.

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Dear KSR,

I have a U of L fan in my fantasy football league, so i felt i need an appropriate team name in order to take advantage of all the possible louisville jokes; thus the Aborted Pitinos were born. Now all i need is a little bit of the KSR karma, and i think ill be sitting on top of the league. I just hope it lasts longer than 15 seconds.

Big Blue Forever, Lousyville never!

People always talk about how putting effort into naming your fantasy football team is a waste of time.  And maybe it is.  But no more than putting effort into naming an awesome garage band.  Or your beat up Camero that you promise to get working one day.  Or your first born.  I would even say your fantasy football team name trumps all of those.  I mean, honestly, nobody really cares about those other three, save for maybe your wife, and at least your league cares about your team name.  That’s generally 10 entire more people than your wife (7 if you subscribe to bigbluemormons.com.)  That being said, the Aborted Pitino’s is a great choice.  Here are a couple more that myself and some of the writers have come up with.

-15 Seconds of Shame

-310 Pounds of Glory

-The Fighting Lester Goetzinger’s

-Dorsey and His Twigga’s

-Silly Rick, Abortion’s for Kids!

Feel free to use these – at your discretion.  Usage may cause Louisville fans to attack you like you took their hairbrush.

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Dear KSR,
I truly enjoy everything KSR…reading the mailbag will only enhance my favorite source of the ‘real news’.
I do have a question;  where can I get a sixpack of the new Blackmail Ale?  Not sure I’d put my lips to the bottle, but might try it with a straw, and it would look great in my small UK collection, well actually my anti-Pitino collection.

Signed,
ukcatman1951

Dear KSR,
Another promo for the Blackmail Ail should have been ‘it ices down in fifteen seconds.’

Sadly, where to purchase a six pack of Blackmail Ale remains a mystery.  Even Drew Franklin – Professional Drinker – wasn’t sure where you could come by some.  It’s likely a one shot type deal, because producing and selling beer takes a lot more legally than just making it for a contest.  Hopefully I’m wrong though, because I would absolutely love to see some commercials featuring a Karen Sypher lookalike and the phrase ‘it goes down easy!’

So if anyone knows where you can pick some up, or if anyone knows the guy that made this product, let us know.  We have a political announcement we would like to get him involved in.

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Dear KSR,

Why is the chin-strap beard an essential part of any UofL fan’s attire?

Great question.  You see, the chin strap was originally modeled after the actual chin strap worn by real life football players.  It rose to popularity in the Louisville fan base during the Kragthorpe transition from Bobby Petrino, when literally every football player ended up off the team.  As a sign of solidarity, the fan base shaved chin straps into their facial hair to show the new head coach that ‘Dammit, if you need us to suit up against Kentucky this year, we will.’  Unfortunately for the former U of L football coach, he listened.

True story.

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拝啓WILL・LENTZ様

最近のニュースについて説明したいと思います。

日本のメディアによると、

またね。

小林尊
早食い大会王者

Honest to God, a real email in the KSRmailbag inbox.  Who knew Louisville cheerleaders were so ugly?  And who knew the world famous hot dog eater was a fan of KSR!  Good to have you, my friend.  (And before you run off to google translator, no, the world famous hot dog eater – in this case – is not Karen Sypher.)

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Dear KSR,

I’ve been to Louisville twice to watch the UK/UofL game and almost lost my mind both times.  The Loserville fans are THE WORST.  I’ve been tailgating UK games since I started UK as a freshman in 1997 and have had interactions(mostly cool) with tons of fans from all of the SEC schools.  The disdain for those fans would probably rank UT then LSU at the top but they don’t come close to the the way the thought of the dirty birds fans makes my blood boil UK BLUE!!  They are 99% trash and have no sense of sportsmanship or common courtesy even when there are women present.

Check out the pictures, my brother had this flag in his basement, don’t ask me why, but I took it from him to get it out of his house.  Seriously, “took it from him.”  At the UK/UofL games 3 years ago, I had it folded up in my pocket and Son of A B**** it was burning my ass up.  After tailgating and consuming delicious Budweiser for about 6 hours, I unfolded the flag, spat on it, then lit the vile, cursed thing on fire as you can see.  A loud screetching noise could be heard across the field.  Everybody went crazy.  It was great.

Later that night we all went nuts again after Woodson hit Stevie Johnson for the winning TD pass!  Magnificent.

Burn, dirty birds, BURN!!!!!

-Hard Hittin’ CAT

I promised myself I wouldn’t steal any particulars from Bill Simmons, so as much as I would like to ‘Yup… these are our readers,’ I will refrain.  So instead… I couldn’t have said it better myself Hard Hittin’ Cat.

Go Cats.

Beat Louisville.

The mailbag is a new addition to the site.  To send in your comments and questions about everything UK and somethings that aren’t, email us at [email protected] and look for your mail to appear every other Thursday.