Go West, Life is Peaceful There

Whenever I fill out a bracket I always look at what I have done and realize that I'm the stupidest person in the world. True story: On Monday, Broseph and I filled out a couple of brackets as we often do each year so that we can blame the other person when they turn out totally wrong. We have Utah State in the Final Four. One problem with filling these out in tandem is that if you have a small inkling that something may occur, you really push it. OH NO, UTAH STATE IS GONNA DO IT! I WAS KINDA THINKING THAT TOO! (1) Duke v. (16) Hampton So now Kyrie Irving is probably going to play and everyone is excited because he's really great and now Duke has an even better chance at repeating and he will certainly add some more spice to the tournament because I'm not really sure we all remember just how good he was, especially scoring the ball, but Duke hopes he will be back at full strength and then they may be unstoppable, even if they are going to feign concern about him getting injured again, but they don't really care about him getting injured again because he's going to the league, so, you know, enjoy him while you can and everything and it should be interesting to see how quickly he can regain his feel for the game and, probably more importantly, its speed. Also, Kyrie is a girl's name. My pick is Duke. (8) Michigan v. (9) Tennessee The Vols have proven that they can beat slow, lumbering teams like Pitt, or up-tempo, mistake-prone teams like Villanova. So, basically, Tennessee would be pretty successful in the Big East. I'm serious. Then again, Tennessee lost to some stinkers, too, so who the hell knows. Still, UT could play poorly and beat Michigan. Fun drinking game! Chug a beer each time Tim Hardaway Jr. takes a terrible shot. You'll be dead by the first TV timeout. My pick is Tennessee. (5) Arizona v. (12) Memphis Both teams are suspect, but Arizona has that guy who dunks well and Sean Miller. So, whatever. My pick is Arizona. (4) Texas v. (13) Oakland God. This is impossible. Texas, as usual, was awesome during January and February. Then March rolls around and Rick Barnes is wound tighter than Cameron Frye. But they can handle Oakland, right? They can handle Oakland. I think. Yeah, they can probably handle Oakland. My pick is Oakland. (6) Cincinnati v. (11) Missouri I have been accused as being something of an SEC homer. (Which reminds me. Yesterday, some wacky commenters misconstrued what I said about Jeremy Price and John Henson. I never said Price was better. Just fatter.) And that may be true, but I'd classify myself as more of a Big East anti-homer (?). I'm a bizarro Tony Vanetti. So, yeah, I see Missouri winning this one in a walk. My pick is Missouri. (3) Connecticut v. (14) Bucknell I have no idea how UConn ran off five straight wins in the Big East Conference Tournament. Despite what I said, like, five seconds ago, the BE is clearly the toughest conference in the country. (Just not the gauntlet everyone pretends it to be. I mean, Pitt's pretty good, but they're no better than about six other teams. The next seven BE teams should all be tied for like 15th in the country.) Still, Kemba Walker is good and so is Jeremy Lamb. Bucknell probably won't cause much trouble. My pick is Connecticut. (7) Temple v. (10) Penn State Penn State scored 36 points in a game AND WON. I don't care about Talor Battle or Jeff Brooks (he's from Louisville!). My pick is Temple. (2) San Diego State v. (15) Northern Colorado As much as I'd like to dump on SDSU, I think they have the ability to make a run. First, they get to live in San Diego. Second, they have a pro in Kawhi Leonard. Third, Steve Fisher is their coach so they are probably cheating. It's the three ingredients to a Final Four run! My pick is San Diego State. --- (1) Duke v. (9) Tennessee UT matches up pretty well with Duke, as Tobias Harris, Scotty Hopson, and Cam Tatum are all big guys that can guard the perimeter. (Melvin Goins is a tiny, tiny guy.) In addition, assuming foul trouble isn't an issue, Brian Williams should have his way in the post. I don't see Duke controlling the game and winning by seven or nine. They'll either lose, win in a tight one, or win by eighty. My pick is Duke. (5) Arizona v. (13) Oakland Derrick Williams. That's the really good dunker that I mentioned earlier. His name is Derrick Williams. I looked it up. My pick is Arizona. (11) Missouri v. (3) Connecticut One thing that Louisville does really well is put pressure on the opposing team. UConn seemed a little rattled last weekend with UL's press (could have been tired legs, I guess), and Missouri plays at an even more frenetic pace than the Cards. To sum this up quickly, Shabazz Napier will have 1500 turnovers and make one three, and the announcers will talk about how great he's going to be. Kemba can't do it all. Actually, maybe he can, but this one will be the Marcus Denmon show. My pick is Missouri. (10) Temple v. (2) San Diego State Whenever I watch a team once -- like I have with Temple -- I always assume that everything that team does in the tiny sample size I have taken is completely representative of all their tendencies. It's my own, highly-imperfect form of the scientific method. Anyway, I watched Temple beat Georgetown in like November and Ramone Moore was awesome. I was surprised to find out he only averaged 14 points a game, but still, HE'S AWESOME. My pick is Temple. This, which is totally going to happen, will set up a Sweet 16 of Duke v. Arizona and Missouri v. Temple. That seems reasonable.