Hating Tim Tebow

by:Matt Jones10/23/08
tebooooo There are many reasons to hate Tim Tebow. First, he is a ridiculously talented football player. In addition to winning the national championship as a Freshman and the Heisman trophy as a Sophomore, he is potentially the best combination of passing and running that we have seen at the QB position in college in recent memory. The guy takes hits well, he has the ability to cut past even quicker defensive backs and has been known to throw a pass that can look as pretty as any in the nation. No one, and I mean no one, really wants to see Tebow lining up against them on the other side of the field. Second, he is the epitome of the superstar jock that you must hate in college. Ladies love Tebow and everytime he has been associated with a woman, she is unbelievably gorgeous. He has the smile, the gelled hair and the general sense of Mr. Campus that would make those not in his position envious. Add to that the fact that he could probably run for Governor of Florida and both candidates actively sought HIS endorsement for President and he has an unbelievable life for a guy who as of yet, is not even eligible to legally drink. And finally there is the fact that he is reported to be potentially the nicest guy in the world. Unlike Christian Laettner, who was Jay Mariotti-like in his unlikeability, Tebow is supposedly a genuine, true saint off the field. He spends his offseason doing things like circumsing kids in the South Pacific, is always volunteering his time in the Gainesville community and even speaks to prisoners about his relationship with God.....all traits that are more than noble and extremely rare in a college athlete. At every point that you think Tebow could be fake, you hear that he did something like carry a 94 year old woman to Dollar General to get panty hose and you feel awful for questioning Saint Tim. In a world of Rashard Carruths and Bruce Pearls, how can you not like that. But still yet, even with all those talents and traits, I still cant seem to find a way to even tolerate the guy. Some of it is clearly my affinity for drinking Hater-ade and because he plays for a rival team. But besides that, he is just TOO perfect. He cant really be all things to all people can he? I mean life is at some points at least fair, correct? The best football player in the country cant also be good looking, popular, extremely nice, somewhat intelligent and a guy you would want your daughter to date and your son to emulate....can he? Dorks are supposed to be nice, ladies men arrogant, football players idiots and librarians genuine and sweet. No one is supposed to have all talents. I simply cannot support that....it doesnt fit my idea of a fair and just society. So I will have to take one for the team and severely dislike Tim Tebow. If he smiles and talks about children, I doth protest. If he is said to be speaking to the disadvantaged, I must assume it is about terrorism. If he throws another stupid jump pass, I must kick my television. Tim Tebow is not fair and I cant support him or his communist ways! Down with Tim Tebow and down with the Florida Gators!!!!!

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