Hot Dogs 101: How the Kentucky Football Team Consumes Pork Pistols
Today Americans celebrate independence from English colonial overlords by lighting things on fire and consuming copious amounts of hot dogs. According to the World Wide Web, more than 150 million hot dogs will be eaten today across the USA. The Kentucky football team is responsible for a significant amount of those hot dogs.
Ahead of our nation’s 246th birthday, KSR conducted the company’s most important research to date. We know the Big Blue Wall can open up holes for Will Levis to score four touchdowns against Louisville, but can the offensive linemen casually consume four hot dogs? What about 40?
Joey Chestnut is the world champion of hot dog eaters. Today we hypothetically put the Big Blue Wall to the test. Let the trash talk commence.
The Kentucky Football Hot Dog Survey
Kentucky Sports Radio spoke with more than a dozen current and former Kentucky football players, as well as a few coaches. We asked two simple questions: What condiments do you put on your hot dog and how many can you eat in one sitting?
The second question remained open-ended for a reason. Some respondents answered as though they were just chowing down at a family BBQ. Others were ready to perform in a competitive setting and needed more details. “If this is a contest, what’s the prize? How long is a ‘sitting?'” In this hypothetical scenario, there was no time limit on an afternoon of eating and $10,000 on the line. As you’ll see, the Big Blue Wall has a big appetite.
The Results
On average the Kentucky football players can eat 10 hot dogs in one sitting, two more than what’s included in your basic pack of Ballpark Franks. Ketchup was the most popular condiment, used by 70% of the respondents, with mustard a close second. One of the most popular answers was, “One more than anyone else,” leading to some interesting responses.
Will Levis
The Big Uglies aren’t the only ones who can scarf down sausages. Without pause, the Kentucky quarterback confidently stated he could eat 18 hot dogs. “I like a lot,” said Levis. “If they got mustard, ketchup and relish, I’ll put it all on there. It makes for a good dog.”
Eli Cox
Levis’ center will not put a number on his capacity. He is determined to out-eat his predecessor, vowing to eat “one more than Fortner.” Cox does not use ketchup or mustard on his hot dog. “The best dog is a grilled with grilled pepper and onions,” says Cox. “No sauce is needed for that perfection.”
Tashawn Manning
One of the newest additions to the Big Blue Wall, the 6-foot-4, 335-pound right guard says “on a chill day” he can eat eight or nine. In a competition, Manning will eat “30, minimum.” Based on the eye test, that is not a far-fetched estimate.
Kentucky’s other offensive guard, Kenneth Horsey, is not in the same league as Manning. In fact, he’s not participating at all. “I’m just not a big hot dog guy.” Add another hurdle for Horsey to earn All-SEC honors.
John Young
The former four-star recruit from Louisville enjoys his hot dogs with the works: ketchup, mustard and sweet relish. Young believes 10 is the right number, but that range can extend up to 15 if he’s competing with David Wohlabaugh. The redshirt freshman from Ohio isn’t as confident, estimating he can eat 8-9 dogs covered in ketchup.
Wohlabuagh is not alone in the “ketchup-only” crew. Former four-star recruits Jager Burton and Jeremy Flax keep it simple. Burton is in the 8-10 hot dog range, while Flax will only eat 2-3.
Kiyaunta Goowdwin
The Wildcats’ five-star freshman offensive tackle is a glizzy gladiator. A ketchup and mustard traditionalist, count Kiyaunta in for 10 hot dogs.
Vince Marrow
Count the Big Dog in for three dogs. His condiments of choice: chili and cheese, of course.
Max Duffy
The former Kentucky punter wants the works: mustard, ketchup, grilled onions, relish. Whatever the guy at the hot dog stand has, he’s eating it. The Australian sensation is also not shying away from a challenge. “I’m good for one more than anyone else,” Duffy says. “I’m a competitor.”
Luke Fortner
The former UK All-SEC center has taken his talents to the next level. Drafted in the third round of the NFL Draft by the Jacksonville Jaguars, he’s officially a professional athlete. Few humans are better groomed for mass hot dog consumption than professional offensive linemen. Preferring his dogs with ketchup and relish, you can set those to the side for this hypothetical competitive feast.
“Eating 20 would be easy, especially with water and the whole gross Joey Chestnut thing,” Fortner calculated. “With no time limit, 20 more before I feel like garbage. And finally 20 more cause I’m a professional athlete, allegedly.”
Luke Fortner is putting up a 60-burger. The challengers have been warned.
Zach Yenser
Kentucky’s new offensive line coach has experience in the trenches, playing on the offensive line at East Tennessee State and Troy during his four-year career. Not too shy to scarf down a pack of pork pistols, Yenser is a mustard man that “could easily eat 20.” Yenser isn’t all talk. He’s a man of action.
“If anyone of them wants a challenge, we can make that happen.”
The table has been set. There’s only one way to settle this great debate. It’s time to fire up the grill.
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