How Far Can Will Levis Go?
After two games, five touchdowns, 546 passing yards and a pair of shiny Ws, Will Levis’ Kentucky stock has never been higher. His week one performance against ULM earned him the Manning Award QB of the Week honors, and another strong showing on Saturday propelled UK to its first conference victory in dramatic fashion. Even more impressively, he’s done it all while balancing the burden of internet fame.
I may not know much about X’s and O’s, but I know a star when I see one. So what’s next for UK’s handsome hurler? Here are a few ideas.
Step One: Chomp the Gators
With Missouri in the rearview and Chattanooga up next, followed by a date with a South Carolina team that nearly lost to ECU, the next big step for UK’s program is clear. They have to beat Florida on Oct. 2. The #11 Gators have looked legit so far, and they kicked our butts last year. While they’ve got a tall task facing Alabama next week, odds are they’ll be right there with Georgia atop the SEC East standings at the end of the year. The ‘Cats need to beat them if they want a real shot at contending.
To do that, UK will need Levis to step up in a big way. And I, for one, believe he can do it.
With a raucous crowd expected — especially if the ‘Cats enter undefeated — Levis should have all the support he needs to pull off the upset. And if the nation doesn’t know his name yet, they’ll damn sure learn it then.
Step Two: Cash in
If anyone knows how to capitalize on stardom, it’s Levis. After taking down the Gators, his notoriety as the charismatic leader of a potentially top-10 team should open the doors for all manner of NIL branding opportunities. First will come the coveted Chiquita sponsorship, which we’ve been waiting on for weeks:
Next, he’ll start showing up on cereal boxes, and before we know it Levis will be chatting it up with Jake from State Farm on national TV. His celebrity will grow faster than post-pubescent Anthony Davis. Pretty soon, he’ll be treating the whole team to Rafferty’s steaks on a weekly basis.
Step Three: Heisman Moment
At this point, with Levis at the helm, the road to a long-awaited SEC Championship is all but paved. Georgia may look tough on paper, but how can they hope to tackle Will Levis when they’re too busy asking him for his autograph?
What happens on the field at this point hardly matters. Even if the ‘Cats get mopped by Alabama, all anyone will remember is how Levis stopped in the middle of the game and did a Heisman-style TikTok dance over a discarded defender, demoralizing him and lifting the star QB to the far reaches of the internet once again. Who’s the real winner at that point?
Obviously, Levis will take home the Heisman Trophy at the end of the year for his season-long dominance, record-breaking numbers and most importantly, that million-dollar smile. Add it to the trophy case, right next to the framed brown stem from that very first banana peel.
Step Four: Bachelor Era
Naturally, Levis will be a top pick in next year’s NFL Draft. But given his lucrative earning potential as a public figure, I expect he’ll turn down a contract and opt for the Hollywood life instead. Inevitably, this path will lead him to a cushy TV gig on ABC’s The Bachelor, a role you might say he’s been preparing for his whole life:
I predict record-setting ratings for Levis’ Bachelor season, particularly for the rather raunchy episode where he judges each contestant based on her ability to seductively *eat* a banana (it’s harder than you’d think!).
At the season’s end, he’ll likely earn a recurring role on the show as either host or guest star, since the network has clearly shown that making original content is a waste of time. If he’s interested, there’s probably a whole career to be made in this industry just as “the banana guy.”
Step Five: President?
But of course, we all know fame gets boring. What’s the next step for Levis at this point? Move into politics, obviously. And luckily for Levis, the reality-show-host-to-world-leader pipeline has never been healthier.
Based on his current trajectory, with the above steps in mind, I expect Will Levis to be elected President of the United States no later than 2036. You can put it on the board right now.
Or, you know, he could just be, like, a pretty good football player. Nothing wrong with that. But I like my version better.
Discuss This Article
Comments have moved.
Join the conversation and talk about this article and all things Kentucky Sports in the new KSR Message Board.
KSBoard