Humble Behavioral Suggestions: Middle Tennessee

Humble Behavioral Suggestions: Middle Tennessee

Evan Hilbertabout 13 years


Article written by:Evan HilbertEvan Hilbert
Never end a sentence with a preposition!  OK, it looks like, according to the school's website, the Blue Raiders remain the squad of Middle Tennessee State University, yet they simply prefer to be called Middle Tennessee. I'm glad that's finally cleared up, because, as you know, Matt is a stickler for accuracy. If we so much as misplace a modifier, he will oftentimes drive to our locale and beat us with a bag of oranges. That's why he's gone so much: he has to go down south to flog Beisner. The final clause of the above paragraph will hereafter be used as a euphemism to describe the unspeakable act performed in one's parents basement---and I'm not talking about blogging. Um, don't boo: I never imagined that this would be an issue, but the mere fact that I am pleading with a percentage of our fan base, however small, not to boo is absurd. You've heard all the commentary and felt the stinging wrath of Matt Jones, so I'm not going to subject you to much. Except, don't act like children. However, as fellow on-looker Waylon Smithers and I agree, I think most of the crowd was saying Boooooo-artline, the QB's not-so-popular nickname in high school. OK, seriously: don't boo. I fear there will be some rogue fans who will boo just to get all the other patrons in a tissy, but don't let that be you---on either count. Waylon Smithers PhotoNo, they're saying Boooo-urns! Pregame video: Looks like we're on our own here, folks. I thought, after last season's less than stellar pregame vid, the folks in the Spirit Department (or whatever) would bust out the big sticks. They could've shown a video of sheltered puppies set to the musical stylings of Sarah McLachlan and the fans would have been more excited. When the team finally came out, everyone was so mesmerized by what they had just seen, it took them a few seconds to actually begin cheering. Moral: be prepared. Again, The Wave?: I could write a book on how I think The Wave is the most god-awful thing in all of sports fandom, but I lack motivation, have poor writing skills, and my research methods would consist of punching losers in the face when they try to start The Wave---probably not the best way to get results. Anyway, I guess I could handle the act if it only occurred during time outs, but it always overflows into game action. I mean, how ADD'd are you? If you're too bored to watch the game, go do The Wave in the parking lot. As always, enjoy this week's festivities. And don't take these guys lightly, they beat Maryland!!!!!11!!!1!!

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