Just plain 'leotarded'

by:John Dubya03/06/07
uniforms.jpg You know, it was always cool as a kid to imagine how everything was going to be so much different in “the future.” I’m talking ‘space suit chic’ made popular in the movies. Well, Nike has proven me wrong; the future is not bright, in fact, it’s scary. Four schools–Syracuse, Florida, Ohio St. and Arizona will don these, umm…leotard bad boys (pictured above) during their conference tournaments. Wow. Were these things designed by Jan Ulrich? Are bloomers really suitable basketball garb? Do the white players know about this? I mean we can joke all we want to, but seriously, what in the hell? I would be interested to see how this board meeting at Nike went: Smith: "So you see Mr. Knight, not only are the shorts both padded and extra voluminous, but the long sleeve spandex will surely make every player feel more masculine, thus, more comfortable." Knight: "You know, it’s a good thing you make six figures, because that’s genius! The kids at Rucker will really take this and run with it, I believe." Maybe this ol’ Kentucky boy simply lacks an eye for fashion, I don’t know. But jeez, I started this post as a joke and now I’m just stunned. And disgusted. And anxiously dreading seeing Joakim do the wind chimes with these things on. Thank goodness LSU didn’t get the “privilege”, can you imagine “Big Baby” Davis in those things? Talk about a case of the moobs…uhhh, I just pictured Phil Mickelson, gross.

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