My 'non'-cents


Fu-man-amongst boys
Don’t concede the POY honors to JJ Redick just yet. Adam Morrison poured in 37 points last night…in the second half. The “Silky Socialist” single handedly overwhelmed Loyola-Marymount with 44 points, which included 8-10 3FG, en route to a 79-70 win. Just as astonishing as Morrison’s outburst, is the fact that the ‘Zags needed the 44 points to defeat the 11-14 Lions. I had Gonzaga picked for the Final 4 before the season, but if you need a Bird-like performance to beat Loyola-Marymount…well, Indianapolis might be a stretch.

My favorite stat of the season thus far comes from ‘the one that got away’, UT’s Chris Lofton. In his last four games, Lofton is an absurd 30/41 from downtown, and averaging 27 ppg during the sizzling stretch. Kentucky fans, we must put ill-will from his non-recruitment behind us, and be happy for all of this young man’s accomplishments.

I want to be excited about the Daytona 500, I really do. I want to pick a driver and stick their number on the back of my car next to the Calvin relieving himself on the logo of the rival automaker, but I can’t. I wish I could make Jeff Gordon is gay, Tony Stewart is a $%&! jokes, but I don’t. Why? Because I don’t care. I know I’m now in the minority, and this cash-cow that is NASCAR is speeding on without me, but I can never imagine a day when I’ll look forward to 4 hours of elliptical racing. I hate traffic, and living in Lexington, must fight it every hour of everyday…so I’ll watch the highlights and pretend like I was glued to the tube for every firery crash and caution flag so that I may be included in my peer’s conversations on Monday. My pick: Sterling Marlin because I’m a Coors man.

Spark it up!
The hot shooting of Patrick Sparks is like your mama…don’t be offended, let me explain. Remember being sick as a child and the bittersweet elation that not having to go to school mixed with a high fever brought to your day? Now think about the supernatural powers of your mother’s care that somehow cured your illness…that’s what a ‘feverish’ Patrick Sparks brings to this Kentucky team. Our season has been, at best, a cold, with the occasional flu-like symptom emerging. Enter Sparks and his 6 second half threes, and it’s as if Donna cooked up a batch of chicken noodle soup for entire squad. Acting as the Ginger Ale, is an aggressive and foul-conscious Randolph Morris. Perhaps we have found the remedy to our season of nausea.

‘Cereal motivator’
If an assistant coaching position does indeed open up after the season, my vote is for Clark Kellogg. The former Ohio St. standout turned capable analyst, had a brief conversation with Randolph Morris before yesterday’s game. Tubby says he was not present for the meeting, but eluded that Kellogg told Morris that he must start owning the boards. The results speak for themselves, and it appears that Kellogg was able to open up a door that the coaching staff had previously been unable to unlock.

My favorite player in college basketball is…
Mike Gansy will doubtfully be included on the All-American team, but there aren’t many guys as important to their team as this hard-nosed competitor for West Virginia. Gansy put up 25 points in the ‘Neers loss to daunting UConn yesterday, and has played flawless and fearless all season against tougher foes. His last second pilfer on UCLA’s Jordan Farmar sealed a win for WVU in Pauley, and his sweet shooting has carried them since their run in the big dance last season. Truly a Pleasure to watch.

Has Ricky lost his number?
Once again citing his team’s youth as a reason for the Cardinals tribulations, Ricky P is looking more and more Mike Davis, and less and less Coach K. Face it Rick, your team is plain lousy, and you can’t hide behind a soft conference anymore. Palacios, the supposed Mashburn clone, has looked more like Gimel Martinez, Taquan Dean is proving that he has the leadership ability of Kenneth Lay, and David Padgett would foul out of an And1 game. It’s impossible to say that Pitino can’t get this ship back on course, but looking ahead to next season it looks like he’ll have to commit to the long haul if he wants to see the Final 4 again.

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