Oh, hello Readers. You caught me tightening my abs. I'm just about finished. One second.
Whew! Gotta love that endorphin high. While I scarf down some Mountain Mist Rain Breeze Gatorade and replenish the valuable electrolytes I lost while honing myself into the perfect killing machine, here for you today is a bit of housecleaning from the various letters we receive weekly concerning the Kentucky Sports Radio Print Edition. While we address a great deal of the questions addressed toward this blog online, we are horrendously backlogged on the mail we receive from the hard copy. So Matt's asked me to address some of those here. I apologize for the delay -- and now, on to the busy work.
In your December 2007 issue, you hailed a young basketball player named Derrick Jasper's performance for the Kentucky Wildcats. However, I recently saw the roster for the Wildcats' '08-'09 season and there is no Derrick Jasper on the roster. I find it tremendously upsetting that you felt the need to invent a player who does not exist. That's very irresponsible.
Thanks for writing. If you'll check UNLV's '08-'09 roster, you'll find him there. He transferred after the '07-'08 season. Hope that clears things up!
Dear Kentucky Sports Radio,
I enjoy basketball as much as the next guy, but I have a question. I just received your February issue and you made many references to a field goal being worth three points. Although I have not watched a college basketball game since 1974, I wanted to write to correct you -- field goals are worth two points, not three. I would think that anyone who writes a magazine about basketball would know this.
The three-point shot was first used at the college level in 1980, and by 1986 was adjusted to become what we know now as the national standard for collegiate basketball. That may be where the confusion came from. Onwards and upwards!
I recently moved to Kentucky from Los Angeles, and I was wondering if you knew when the Kentucky Wildcats would be playing the Los Angeles Lakers. I don't want to miss that game!
The Los Angeles Lakers play for the National Basketball Association, a professional league, while the Kentucky Wildcats represent the University of Kentucky in college sports. We regret that you will not be seeing this rivalry anytime soon.
Dear Kentucky SR,
I feel a little misled by your publication. I would like to be a basketball player, but have recently discovered that I cannot maneuver the basketball to float in front of me while I run. What gives? Are the players in your magazine wizards or something?
We routinely feature photos of players "in action" - i.e., dribbling, shooting - and can understand where you might think the ball is suspended in mid-air. In actuality, it is only a captured moment in the movement of a player with the ball. The only exception is in the case of Dwight Perry, who is actually a magical warlock. Sorry for the mix-up.
Dear KSR Magazine,
While I loved the cover of the June issue (Frankie Muniz takes the world by storm!), I find it odd that since that time, Frankie Muniz has not taken the world by storm. Also, he has nothing to do with basketball or radio. Can you explain?
Just before the June issue came out, we were informed by our own Brian the Intern that he had read an article stating that Frankie Muniz would be portraying Batman in July's blockbuster "The Dark Knight," which would have obviously "taken the world by storm." This, however, turned out not to be true. We were merely operating on the information we had at the time.
I was reading your January 2008 issue, and noticed references to a young phenom named Shoots Hoopface -- but saw no reference to such a player on the Wildcat roster. Who is this?
You got us on that one. We did make that guy up. Good eye!
In your August issue, you recently stated that the weather for the UK/Middle Tennessee State football game would be sunny and beautiful. I do not appreciate being taken for granted. One day you'll wake up and I won't be there, then how are you going to feel? You'll miss me when I'm gone.
We're sorry. We shouldn't have spoken too soon. You're right, and we appreciate all you do for us.
Well. Now that that's out of the way, we can finally get on to Wednesday proper. Have a great day, everyone -- and before I go, in response to the great TV debate on this column a few weeks ago, I'll show you below how it's done. Sitcoms of 2008, take note. THIS is your standard. Until next week, folks.
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