Need-to-Know Wednesday's seen things that cain't be unseen!

Friends, Last night was a bit of a rollercoaster, I think we can all agree. First we were mad, then we were resigned, then we got excited, then we were pleasantly surprised, happy (for a split second), then sad again...and an hour later, maybe satisfied with the team. Truthfully, I don't mind sounding like a Steelers fan when I bitch that if everyone had been out there, I feel we'd have owned (pwned?) the Bulldogs. But, alas, it wasn't meant to be. Wasn't in the cards, the tea leaves or the stars for the Wildcats to win last night's game. And if there's one thing that's quickly becoming the monkey on all of our collective backs this season, it's the injury situation. It's been a plague all season. But will it get better? I recently took a trip into downtown Cincinnati for a chat with Madame Dorothy, a psychic medium who operates out of the dodgy Over-the-Rhine area. There I asked her what the UK injury situation would be for the rest of the season. I hate to tell you folks, it doesn't look good for us. Below is a list I made, per Madame Dorothy's visions, of the remainder of the regular season, and what we as fans can expect: January 15 - vs. Mississippi St. Meeks - Hip Flexor Injury Jasper - Sprained MCL/ Flu January 19 - vs. Florida Jasper - Sprained MCL Coury - Strep Throat Bradley - Toe-ache January 22 - vs. Tennesseee Coury - Bruised knee Porter - Hat head January 26 - vs. South Carolina Crawford - Stoved finger, raspberry Perry - Migraine Harris - Pac Man Fever February 2 - vs. Georgia Krebs - Hypothermia February 6 - vs. Auburn Patterson - Pinkeye Stewart - "The farts" February 9 - vs. Alabama Stevenson - Verklempt February 12 - vs. Vanderbilt Crawford - Earache Jared Carter - Lycanthropic complications (full moon) February 19 - vs. Georgia Patterson - Cholera Krebs - Needs to be burped February 27 - vs. Ole Miss Bradley - Senioritis Coury - Slowly being erased after future descendent went back in time March 5 - vs. South Carolina Perry - Lazy eye Harris, Crawford - Big Mac Attack Gonna be a bleak rest of the year, folks, if Madame Dorothy's right. So might as well settle in and watch the following Australian. Those of you who are Tucker Max fans should love it. The rest of you, I hope, will find him moderately amusing, though a douchebag. That is all.