Pompadours of the SEC East

Christopher Johnsover 11 years

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Aritcle written by:Christopher JohnsChristopher Johns
barber-pole As we prepare to do battle with the hated reptiles from the south, one can't help but note that their coach has a rather distinctive hairstyle. While it is all in good fun to take their leader to task, let's take a quick look at the SEC East and evaluate the coiffs of the male coaches. (Note: If I post more than a couple of pictures the site will lock up like Donovan exploring career opportunities, so I am going to have to make a lot of links. Apologies. Just click on the blue text.) Coach: John Calipari Hair Style: Corporate Executive Looks Most Like: Gordon Gekko Also Looks Like: George Clooney Commentary: Perfect hairstyle for the guy that is leading the flagship college basketball university to 2000 wins and beyond. What did you expect? This is a UK fan site. Of course our beloved leader is going to be compared to Kentuckian George Clooney. Coach: Kevin Stallings Hair Style: Male Pattern Baldness Looks Most Like: Bill Kirchenbauer Also Looks Like: Michael Chiklis Commentary: I love Stallings as a coach, but I can't get over Coach Lubbock on the sidelines. Man, did a young Christopher Johns have a huge crush on Cindy Lubbock back in the day [far right]. That's good nostalgia. Coach: Mark Fox Hair Style: Thin Frontal Swoop Looks Most Like: Joe Buck Also Looks Like: Arn Anderson Commentary: His hairstyle screams less "zone defense!" and more "I'm coming to audit you!" Coach: Darrin Horn Hair Style: Wicked Part, Flyaway Bang Looks Most Like: Anthony Perkins Also Looks Like: Crispin Glover Commentary: Hello, McFly!?! Old school haircut with those couple of pieces that get away from the Dapper Dan and fall across the forehead. The preferred look of axe murderers since 1943. Coach: Bruce Pearl Hair Style: Brillo Pad Looks Most Like: Big Pussy Also Looks Like: Will Ferrell Commentary: Not a lot to work with for ol' Bruce. It is pretty much what he has or the buzz cut/bald options. Could you pick out which player on the team was his son during the Kansas game? I mean, how could you not? Genes run strong in the Pearl family. Coach: Billy Donovan Hair Style: Widows Peak Looks Most Like: Drumroll please - Eddie Munster or Nosteratu. Also Looks Like: John Travolta's slimmer, evil younger brother (Fair warning on that Travolta pic: Don't click on it if you are eating. Serious moob action awaits.) Commentary: I know this one was a lay-up and it has been said before, but, man, he really does look like a young Butch Patrick. He is the kid from Mockingbird Lane.

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2021-09-25