Earlier this week, Bravo released
the preview for season 7 of RHONJ. The season will depict Teresa Giudice's return from jail and all of the mayhem that follows. I have a lot of hope that this season will not disappoint. To make the perfect season, you need a few ingredients-es, and it looks like they are all present in the trailer. Let's breakdown the preview to see what's to come.
Length of the Trailer: 3 minutes, 10 seconds
Number of brunettes on screen: 17
Number of blondes: 1
Curse words said: 15
Best Outfit:
Angry Finger Points Given: 9
Other impressive hand gestures: throat slit/murder gesture, furious table slapping, "pump the brakes" hand motion, Buh-bye wave
Best Line: "Anyone who takes down my friends..."*mimes machine guns*
Worst Line: "She's not even 1/16 Italian."
Least Interesting Storyline: Joe Gorga doesn't want a "part-time wife."
Most Heartbreaking Storyline: Children praying that their parents come back from jail
Times Siggy Isn't Yelling: 0
Chance of Kim D Getting Involved in the Drama this Season: 100% 👀
Months Teresa Spent In Jail: 11
Chance of Teresa's new tagline alluding to her time spent in jail: 50/50
Timestamp for what Everyone Thinks when they watch RHONJ: 1:37
People Wearing Robes But Not Relaxing: 2
Number of Kleenex Used On Camera: 1.5
Nosejobs Melissa Has Allegedly Had: 4
Noses Picked: 1*
Words Mispronounced: 1* ("Osama-Buh-Ladin")
Blouses With Asymmetric Necklines: 5
Amount of Times Someone is inappropriately referred to as "cancer": 1
Outfits That Look Like The Revenant Bear: 2
Days until the season premiere on July 10: 45
Special Mentions: Melissa's Envy Hat, Dolores' Fabulous Cake, The Sheer Quantity Of Russian-Looking Hats, Jacqueline's Shoeless Running, Teresa's "Back-from-jail" Ring, The Rosary Ring, Joe Giudice's "I'm pretending to read" face
*Denotes Series Record
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