Scandals! Screaming! Sashes! The Untold Story of KSR is Coming Soon

by:The Fake Gimel Martinez05/18/11
A picture Patrick Patterson doesn't want you to see

The rumors are true! We can now look forward to seeing the tell-all ESPN Book "Those Guys Have All The Fun" that will be released May 24th. ESPN has been a massive part of my sports-enjoying life; back in the mid-1990s I'd make excuses to stay late at my grandfather's and uncles' houses to catch SportsCenter live. The book, which promises to be a snapshot of how the sausage is made within The Worldwide Leader: Extra-marital affairs, office fighting, and Chris Berman being Chris Berman.

Not to be outdone by this national exposé, we at Kentucky Sports Radio are announcing that our tell-all book, published by the Fake Press, will be released in time for the 2011 holiday season. I have spent the last several months in countless interviews with former and current KSR writers. Given full editorial control, I was told to "pull no punches" when it comes to telling this authentic behind-the-scenes story of a humble website's spectacular rise to success.

Here is just a taste of what you'll discover in our book:

* Which episode of Fawlty Towers turned a jovial rivalry between Tomlin and Mosley into a blood feud?

* The REAL TRUTH of why Bryan The Intern is still allowed to post on KSR. If you guessed "blackmail", you'd only be 1/3rd correct.

* Duncan Cavanaugh: The Eduardo Saverin of KSR.

* Matt Jones' breakthrough discovery to help overcome his crushing addiction to beauty pageants and reality dating TV shows: The Power of Merle Haggard.

* The Original Intern's latest reincarnation and how he will one day will save the world.

* Bobby Perry: mild-mannered mortgage banker by day, all-star Filipino rap producer by night.

* The secret cult involving Will Lentz, several sororities on UK's and Eastern Kentucky University's campus, and Will's Speedos.

* Which KSR Blogger is also known as "The Dominatrix of Words With Friends"?

* How Hubby and Jai Lucas secretly tested anti-DDOS software for the National Security Agency.

* Matt Jones: Bobby Knight supporter.

* What Samantha Ryan gave Drew Franklin.

The Most Ridiculous Manners Possible: Inside the Kentucky Sports Radio Mostly Non-Radio Personalities can be bought at fine retailers across the state if it wasn't just a fake writing project that I made up.

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