SEC Basketball: Still Trying

by:John Dubya10/17/13

SECBasketball

In the middle of the 2010 season, I wrote this scathing review on the pitiful state of affairs within the confines of SEC basketball. It was harsh, sure, but also hopeful that the conference could get its collective act together for the sake of humanity because no way could it get any worse, right?

Nope. SEC basketball is still a garbage tsunami steamrolling its way to the season’s opening tip, and for a lot of folks with a Big Blue Nation mailing address, that’s perfectly fine. All these flightless birds around the league are seemingly easy prey for the preseason’s top ranked team and what’s wrong with gettin’ fat off wins? I feel ya. I like to see Kentucky win too. I typically hoot/holler and throw things when they lose which complicates the relationship I have with my dogs, and possibly some humans (ohhhh welllll). I also like to be entertained however, and sometimes that goes beyond a January Tuesday Night drubbing of whatever it is Auburn has patched together. The best entertainment evokes the gamut of emotions, from sheer hatred and anger, to anxiety, and of course immense pride and excitement. I know most here in the Big Blue Nation wear their Big Blue Blinkers and see this ineptitude as an opportunity to devour the landscape AND GO 40-0! I’d love to see it happen, no doubt. But you know what else I’d like to see? Bruce Pearl parading around the court in Knoxville like a glistening sideshow barker shouting instruction to a team of nothing but Bobby Maze and Ron Slays. A team other than Florida join Kentucky in making a significant postseason splash every once in a while. Marshall Henderson go 3 for 27 in Rupp, snort a line off the scorer's table and talk trash to your grandparents in the third row. Give me Nolan Richardson’s pretty face, Runnin’ Hogs and a hostile Bud Walton Arena. Sure, they got the upper hand a couple of times, but my lord that was fun. Da Meat Hook, Big Baby, Chris Porter’s afro, Stansbury’s blue eyes crying in the rain, soft but skilled tall white guy at Vandy, a character, a villain, something, anything... These days there are but a handful of SEC battles each season that truly impact the national landscape. The remaining majority are Jefferson-Pilot blooper reels in poorly lit gyms half-filled with friends and family and boozed up fraternity pledges just happy to steal a couple of hours away from captivity. Sure, maybe there’s a 10-seed on the line, or first round NIT bye, and sometimes---as if by accident---the games are even close...tied at 57, 10 seconds left, the coach calls time out to draw up the SEC’s hallmark play: point guard isolation which will result in one of three things: a turnover, a forced off-balance heave at/after the buzzer, or a terrible whistle.   It's important to remember that outside of this Nation we call Big Blue, there are maybe 20-30 people who invest more than a passing "hmmph" in the outcome of an SEC basketball game. This is the conference that took college football mainstream after all, which pays everyone's bills and takes them out to dinner from time to time to show that they're still committed to this just don't talk to me too much please. We here at KSR all lust for the same outcome and in the grand scheme of the hangin’ banners game, conference RPI is indeed meaningless. But I for one remember the days when the SEC brought the occasional hype of a  heavyweight bout that wasn't exclusive to Rupp Arena. I remember when the SEC brought the (relative) funk. Here we are, SEC, entertain us.    

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