SEC Slant

It's all about the middle market in the SEC right now. The poles are set: LSU at the top, Ole Miss at the bottom, and in between is a smattering of football teams shrouded in mystery. Just look at the standings: in the East, only Vandy is unranked, and the battle for second is the West may not be decided until the Iron Bowl the final week of the regular season. Oh, and if you have a friend (we all do) who likes to employ that broken logic of, "well, x beat y, and y beat z, therefore x is better than z," do us all a favor and slap em in the face. That tidy little arguement may hold up in mathematics, but does not translate to sports, nor the slant... Kentucky (@ SC L 38-23)---We can talk ad nauseum about how disapointing UK's effort in the national spotlight was on Thursday, but let's not kid ourselves, we'd all have gladly taken 5-1 heading into LSU at the beginning of the season. Kentucky is still playing with house money, and still has their legion of studs healthy. The question now becomes, where do you draw the line in giving credit to SC's defense and discrediting UK's talent? Even after donating 21 points to the Gamecocks' cause via 4 turnovers, UK STILL had a chance to tie it up in the 4th quarter. They're still dangerous, but NFL coaches look at their next two weeks, and cringe. Next Game: LSU 10/13 Kentucky gets Tyson next week, King Hippo after that South Carolina---And right on cue, the OBC has his Gamecocks atop the East. I imagine Spurrier has a simple explaination for the meteoric rise: "Well, shucks, we put the ball over the goal-line a few more times than our opponents," but make no mistake, he's confident that his club is going to get that neutral field rematch with LSU in Atlanta. Why not? If they can keep relying on that mediocre offense to scrounge up a few TD's here and there, the gamebreaking defense need only bend and not break. It appears that won't be a problem. Next Game: @UNC 10/13 LSU (Florida W 28-24)---Everyone I know that's been to a marquee night game in Baton Rouge tells the same story: "I don't really know what happened, but I lost a shoe and I'm bleeding from my left ear." It's accompanied by a hollowed expression of innocence lost that you only see in Vegas and from people who just watched Saw III. I must go. Anyway, now that they're solidified as the top team in the SEC/NCAA, will LSU play like Greg Norman or Tiger Woods? Some think Les Miles "rolled the dice" Saturday night, but his brazen play-calling on 4th down is hardly a gamble when you know you're hardly beatable. I might be wrong, but after Florida went up 17-7 in the first half I could've sworn I saw Miles whisper to an assistant, "awww, that's cute." Next Game: @ Kentucky 10/13 Florida---Undoubtedly the best 2 loss team in the nation, the Gators must now scrounge up some motivation not in the form of defending the championship. You have to tip your cap to their effort in the Bayou (covering the spread and all), and it's hard to imagine a team this talented going 9-3/8-4. Little known fact: Tebow sees the same doctor as the #24 Chevy Monte Carlo. Next Game: @ Kentucky 10/20 Tennessee (Georgia W 35-14)---Like the grade school bully who gets beat up by his older brother's friends on the playground, the Vols needed a go-to geek to repair their reputation. Who knew it'd be in the form of the Georgia Bulldogs? Perhaps writing the Vols off as a pretender was merely wishful thinking. Looks like those RB's are finally gettilng some wind back in their lungs, the recievers decided they in fact do know how to play football, and the defense remembered their 40 times. Next Game: @ Miss St 10/13 Other Games: Arkansas 34 Chattanooga 15 Alabama 30 Houston 24 Miss St 30 UAB 13 Ole Miss 24 La Tech 0 Auburn 35 Vanderbilt 7 Standings: East (7) South Carolina 3-1 5-1 (13) Florida 2-2 4-2 (24) Georgia 2-2 4-2 (17) Kentucky 1-1 5-1 (25) Tennessee 1-1 3-2 Vanderbilt 1-2 3-2 West (1) LSU 3-0 6-0 (22) Auburn 2-1 4-2 Alabama 2-1 4-2 Miss St 1-2 4-2 Arkansas 0-2 3-2 Ole Miss 0-3 2-4 SEC Pa'er Rankings: 1. LSU---refuse to play nice 2. South Carolina---who needs offense? 3. Florida---knocked down, not out 4. Kentucky---"what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" or "if Dorsey doesn't swallow you, Tebow will" 5. Tennessee---Remember us? We're still good and stuff 6. Auburn---almost out of the dog house for that State game 7. Georgia---who are you? 8. Alabama---still in decline mode 9. Miss. St.---Sly "f-in" Croom 10. Vanderbilt---still doing their thing (going unnoticed) 11. Arkansas---still doing their thing (imploding) 12. Ole Miss---still doing their thing (tailgating)