Short and Insufficient Profile: Billy Joe Murphy

OK, so, during the dragging, sweaty, uncomfortable months of summer, we flippantly mentioned that we would be profiling every player on the team. It will only be fun and worthwhile, we decided, if we were both informative AND funny. Well, it would be really fun if we were drunk the entire time, but that's neither here nor there. Thus, for these ten weeks leading up to the UL game, we will have at least one profile a day. We hope you enjoy these as much as we enjoyed the idea of doing them, but not the actual task. Oh, and we see the egregious "that's what she said" in the headline.

We'd also like to use this italicized space to apologize to the families of the players whose last names end in 'A' or 'B' because these early ones might suck a little.

Boring, Obligatory Vitals

Height--6'6''

Weight--292

40--N/A

Year--Freshman

Position--Offensive Tackle

Hometown--Gamaliel, KY (Monroe County)

Unfair comparison to NFL-er: Tony Boselli. What a tackle!

Most interesting fact from his media guide bio: A very smart player, Murphy chose Kentucky over both Duke and Vanderbilt. So, take that nerds!

Something we made up about him: As a newborn, he was elated to hear that his name wasn't going to be Billy Bob. However, when his parents settled on Billy Joe, he was just as upset. Unfortunately, he was unable to talk.

Items of legitimate interest: He was a top prospect in the state coming out of high school. He is described as being a smart player with good footwork. Makes his living preying on the stupidity of defensive lineman. Quote: "Football is a lot about hitting, but it's also a lot about outsmarting people. I get my steps and technique right. I know where the play is going and the best way to block. Usually I feel like I am a little smarter than most opponents I go against. I understand the game well. It just sort of comes natural to me."

Outlook for 2008, based on light research by our minions: Starts fall camp third on the depth chart at right tackle. In the fake world of Anaxamander, Murphy is a "campus legend." Proof: