Take the Alabama Fan Questionnaire!

by:CMTomlin01/15/15

Alabama-Crimson-Tide

You call yourself an Alabama fan? It’s time to put your loyalty to the test, Tide Nation! Take the following questionnaire to see where you rank among the crimson faithful. Good luck!

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1. I always prefer to watch Alabama basketball with:

a. The other wealthy doctors who live in my neighborhood
b. My girlfriend, my kids, her kids, my sister, my sister’s kids and her boyfriend Ray
c. Pooter, Jimbo and them

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2. My biggest superstition with Alabama sports is:

a. I have to be wearing my lucky red sweater-vest
b. I get my good luck hickey from Brandine
c. I shoot three bullets into my “Shoot Tree.”

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3. What is this?

a. “Big Al,” the Crimson Tide Mascot
b. A messed-up dog I seen over by Duane’s house one time
c. I don’t know but if it comes near me I will kill it and it and they can’t do anything to me because it came at me and I am protecting my space

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4. Who is Lane Kiffin?

a. The current offensive coordinator for Alabama football
b. A fancy man from Hollywood who runs our score plays
c. That pretty lady in the visor

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5. When Creighton beat us in the first round of the NCAA Tournament in 2012, I:

a. Accepted it and went to check on how the new addition to my house is coming along
b. Got into a fight with my ex-wife and we both got thrown out of Sport Clips
c. Wrote CRATIN on a board and threw my throwing stars at it

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6. My most disappointing moment as an Alabama fan was:

a. The ending of the 2013 Iron Bowl vs. Auburn
b. Losing to UCONN in the NCAA Tourney Elite Eight in 2004
c. The time I caught Ray and my girlfriend doing it in the back of my truck last week during the Tennessee game

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7. As a fan, you could best classify me as:

a.  A current booster for the University of Alabama
b.  A fan who never misses a game
c. The man who is going to karate chop Ray until his neck breaks

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8. My favorite snack on game day is:

a. Fried green tomatoes at a well-appointed tailgate party
b. Pizza and popcorn, with soda
c. Eleven Busch Lights and a jar of pickles

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9. “Crimson Tide” is:

a. A term popularized in the 1900’s referring to the Crimson color of a dominant Alabama’s team uniforms
b. A submarine movie starring Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman
c. What Ray is going to see coming out of his nose when I punch his nose bones up into his brain

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Ray is:

a. I don’t know who Ray is
b. Going to meet his demise when I see him at the next militia meeting so you tell him I am coming for him and it is time for him to die

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