Talking Cats in Vitalese

Patrick Barkeralmost 12 years


Aritcle written by:Patrick BarkerPatrick Barker
dick-vitale2 Hey Cats fans!  It's your main man Patrick Barker!  I've been playing NCAA Basketball 10 nonstop for the past 72 hours and besides my eyes being bloodshot and emptying three bags of those new Snyder's buffalo sauce pretzels, my ears are ringing with the sounds of an electronic Dick Vitale calling all of my UK dynasty's wins.  In fact, I'm not sure I can speak without using the word "baby" in some context.  Love him or hate him, he's really become the voice of college basketball.  Anyway, I just thought I would tell you my thoughts about the UK's  season so far*. I've been so impressed with this team, baby!  It's full of diaper dandies and finally it's like a raceway again in Rupp!  Gone are the Times Square days with Billy G and Tubby!  These guys have a little bit of everything and really have what it takes to make this season special.  There have been so real knee-knockers so far and Coach Cal isn't a Cream Puff DelightBringing the Ws over North Carolina, Indiana and UConn have really been statement that the Cats are back.  And of course you know it's December because there have been some N.C.'s, too. The most obvious difference between this team and recent editions of Kentucky basketball is that there is a big upgrade in PTPers!  The highlight reel has been rolling every game of the season so far with slam, bam, jams, trifectas and dishes of the rock.  Patrick Patterson has been the real engine to this team.  He's a real surf-and-turfer, baby!  I've also been pleasantly surprised by his ability to shoot the area-code J.  I'm sure the scouts are loving it, too.  In fact, in's Mock Draft, Patterson is going 10th- the highest he's ever been rated there, no doubt in part because he's shown he no Dow Joneser!  And thanks to Human Space Ship DeMarcus Cousins proving UK is no Doughnut offense, PPatt has been able to shift back to his natural 4 slot. And how about John Wall?  I mean, what can I say that hasn't already been said?  He's a high riser, a 3-D man and an Isolation man!  He's clearly better than advertised and you better belive I am savoring every moment he's in that Kentucky uniform.  What I've been most impressed with about Wall is how he's such a blender.  It sounds cliche, but he really makes everyone else around him better.  He's such a heady basketball player and you'll rarely find him drilling Reggies when he needs Pete Roses. One of the main concerns going into the season was team chemistry.  So far, we've heard no squabbling over PT nor anything else to make us believe their chemistry isn't excellent.  Perry Stevenson is still serving up Wilson Sandwiches, Ramon Harris has become Mr. Pac Man, and Darnell Dodson really does have a sweet perimeter J.  Being the biggest team in the country has made UK an M&Mer.  We have the benefit of overpowering people with size as well as blister them with speed in the backcourt.  Man, this team is fun to watch. Looking ahead, it's scary to think that this team isn't done growing.  They're already Prime Time and I can't wait to see what they'll look like come March.  UK will be battle-tested and come the Big Dance, Strawberry Shortcake will be nowhere to be seen (ok, so I forced this one, but give me credit- it doesn't even make sense in the first place).  Go Cats! *For translation, go here.

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