The Life Chronicles of John Calipari (Season 1, Ep. 1)

The following is an excerpt from Hall of Fame Coach John Vincent Calipari’s journal. The Life Chronicles of John Calipari are exclusive look-ins at what goes on in the brain of the most popular man in the bluegrass. Without further ado, the season premiere of The Life Chronicles of John Calipari. Season 1, Ep. 1 Monday, October 4^th Journal Entry 1 Since arriving at the University of Kentucky, life has been extremely busy yet remarkably routine. Very few days have set themselves apart from one to the next. Today, however, was anything but routine. My day started off just as any other has, taking care of basketball business, practice, etc. The team had a good practice, not great, but a good one. I sat down with each one of them today to see where they were at with school, life, etc. We want to make sure everyone is on the right track as we head into the beginning of the season. Everyone was doing fine, blah, blah, blah. No big deal, right? Boring day. Sure. Remember I said earlier this day was memorable. Once basketball is done for the day, we’ve done all we can do for recruiting, I’m going to head home. I know it’s hard to believe but I do have a recliner in a house I very much enjoy sitting in. Ha! Anyhow, on my way home, I see the Orange Leaf I always pass on my way home. Today, I’m craving some of that delicious frozen yogurt, I give into temptation and decide to drop in to see how everyone is doing. I must admit I give into this temptation quite a bit. I’m not perfect! I like frozen yogurt! Shoot me. Today, an unfamiliar face was behind the counter at Orange Leaf. I like to get to know my employees, so I ask her name and give her my usual order, Spoon-In-The-Jar Peanut Butter. By the way, best frozen yogurt flavor in the world, I could eat my weight in that stuff. Anyway, she tells me her name is Emily, sweet girl, then she goes to get my frozen yogurt. Here’s where my day became unlike most days. Believe me when I'm telling you, you're going to want to hear this because it's remarkable. Emily returns with the most perfectly beautiful swirl of frozen yogurt I’ve ever seen. I’m taken back by this. I’m curious now. I can’t resist, so I ask her, “Emily, how long have you been working here?” She tells me 2 weeks. What?! This girl has been working at my frozen yogurt shop for 2 weeks and can already get a swirl like that? What?! Are you kidding me?! Then she tells me she’s a 3.8 GPA student at UK? Get outta town. That's stupid! You're telling me I've got a girl in my yogurt shop making frozen yogurt masterpieces with almost an "A" average? You can't be serious! So I tell Emily to give me her work schedule, because I want to make sure she’s the one making my Spoon In The Jar from now on. I'm ecstatic. First thing I do is drive home and tell Ellen about Emily. While, she was disappointed in my eating habits (this day wasn't too out of the ordinary, HA!) she was happy to hear my day had been memorable. Oh, and you better believe Emily is going to be happy to see me at my next visit. Why is that? I may have even convinced Ellen to make a special batch of brownies for my new favorite employee. Anyone who can present frozen yogurt like that deserves world famous brownies. Unbelievable. Needless to say it was an extraordinary day, filled with extraordinary people. Emily, the Marcus Camby of frozen yogurt swirling, made my day. The Michelangelo of frozen yogurt working in one of my shops. Who would’ve thought? There are two things in this world I appreciate and that’s people who excel at their craft and well-presented Orange Leaf frozen yogurt. Today, I got both. What a treat. I can only hope my days are half as memorable as this one was. If I can get my team to display half the excellence Emily displayed today, then we're going to be scary. Write that down. Scary. Here's to excellence and diamonds in the rough. I like my Orange Leaf team. -Cal These are in no way, shape or form actual quotes from John Calipari. These posts are satire and should only be read as such. Please stay tuned for more from The Life Chronicles of John Calipari. These should be posted with more frequency as the season progresses.