The Winning Brohm Story

by:Matt Jones•08/08/08

This was completely random, at times made little sense, but did involve Woo, Chris Tomlin, Billy Clyde and Jai Lucas.....so I picked it as the winner. Enjoy by Jhoova: Standing outside with his legal team, Jones digests what just happened. Since the failed attempt of a clever one liner didnt sit easy with the Duke law grad, he knew something had to be done and fast. He could easily spring into action and attack the former Loserville star, but surely Brohm would get hurt (as usually) and Matt would be forced to squabble with Hunter Cantwell, and Jones has no real beef with the red headed step-child of the Cards; plus Brohm’s crew went from “Banana Republic Thugs” to actual “Cardinals Football All-Probationary Team” in a blink. So Matt and his “WNBA All-Defensive Team” came up with a plan and strolled back into the bar with a swagger that only the winner of a White Castle eating contest could have after scarffing down a case of Sliders during his lunch break. At the site of Jones, Brohms crew stood up and turned to face him like a police line up the group was all too familiar with. Jones crew didnt shutter at their standoffish posture, as they knew every PO in the Louisville Metro area and could disperse these guys with mere speed-dial or a quick text message. “Why you talk **** about me on the radio? If you’ve got beef with me lets settle it face to face.” Brohm said. “Like I said it was probably the truth, and if you keep this up we will settle this. I don’t appreciate you talking trash as I was leaving. Guess thats why you guys are “Dirty Birds”, just cant man up. Now apologize or else.” Jones said sternly to Brohm who stood with his own NFL jersey on. “I aint apologizing for **** Jones you better…” before the Dirty Bird could chirp the end of his sentence, Matt snapped his fingers and a thunderous yell came came from outside the bar… “HEEEEYYYYY YOOOOUUUU GUUUUUYYYYYSSSSS!!!!!” and CRASH, Tomlin came catapaulting through the bars front window dressed Kige dressed as Santa Claus and smashed Brohm in the face with what looked to be a loaded Santa sack. As the bag smacked the rookie Cheesehead in the face and it exploded and GummiBears filled the air. Jones just standing and watching this all unfold in front of him with a devious lawyer/Grinch Stole Christmas grin, unflinching as “Team Probation” scattered and his buddies laughed like they had just seen CaddyShack for the first time. Then instantly WOO came crashing through the front door, as many know GummiBears and other fruity snacks are to WOO as blood is to a shark, they can smell from it from miles away. Seeing the WOO made everyone scatter as they have known WOO is undeafeated in Louisville. Brohm just lay on the ground squirming and groaning like he had been hit the same way Dicky Lyons hit Craig Steltz. The only people still left in the bar at this point are the oftly injuried Brohm, Tomlin dressed as Kige dressed as Santa, WOO with a mouth full of fruity snacks, Matt’s legal buddies, Jones himself and oddly enough Billy Clyde Gillispie. “Coach what are you doing here?” Jones asked. “I heard about Tomlin’s athletic move through the front window and wanted to see what it was all about, I’m always recruiting…ALWAYS.” Coach said plainly, then picked up his Dr. Pepper and walked out. The scene was odd like Les Miles and Snoop Dogg at a Rotary Club meeting, and Matt and the gang walk out the bar leaving Brohm. Suddenly a guy in a Tim Couch jersey runs up to Matt… “Hey Matt, any news on where Jai Lucas is going?” the kid asks…