There I go, turn the page

There I go, turn the page

John Dubyaover 14 years

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Article written by:John DubyaJohn Dubya
grad1.jpg As many, ok, probably four or five of you know, I am currently a Senior at the "Top-20" cusped University of Kentucky. As with all soon to be graduates, I am dealing with the paradoxical emotions of excitement and trepidation. Should I go right to work? Travel? Get another degree? Drink? While I'm not exactly sure quite yet which path I'll trudge upon graduating, I know I need to listen to my heart; do something I love. Since Peter North seems to have things covered in his field, my next thought turns to sports, specifically, college basketball. So here is my application essay for a school that, if accepted, would make this young man's dreams a reality. I encourage those who were once in my Clarks Wallabees to offer any adivce or constructive criticism, as I'll need all the help I can get. Thanks. Application Essay Dear Sirs, It was 1989, I was all of five years old at the time, when my father took me to my first basketball game in Rupp Arena. While I cannot recall the outcome of that game, I do know who won: it was college basketball, and it won my heart. So it is with this unabashed passion for the game of collegiate basketball that I am writing you today, with the hope that you will accept me into The School of Bracketology. My comprehensive background in the studies of March Madness and all things bracketed includes, but is not limited to: mass quantities of televised college basketball viewing from my couch/recliner, in-depth research (both quantitative and qualitative) on Bodog, and organizing board meetings (usually at a bar or a home with bar supplies) with fellow associates to discuss current trends and happenings in the college basketball sphere. In addition to my vast college basketball edification, I have spearheaded and managed an NCAA Tournament pool among my peers for the past four years. Amazingly, I have won the last two, thus ensuring that nobody will join my tournament consortiums any time soon. This lucrative happenstance may stink on the surface, but the bottom line is I am just really good a picking brackets. Now, I am sure you receive applications all the time overflowing with boasts of office pool proficiency, so I will spare you my spiel. For, I am fully aware that correctly picking games is criterion better served at The College of Bracketiatry. I know that the true geniuses of college basketball dare to project an entire field of 65 teams before the NCAA selection committee convenes over Chinese take-out and Green Label Scotch…sometimes only days after the previous season has commenced. Some may call this ridiculous, brash, an unscientific waste of time, ridiculous…I call it by a different name, brilliant. Who cares about uncalculated off-season occurrences when you have science in your corner? Right, Al Gore? lunardiflintmartellihenderson-034.jpg Joe Lunardi, Bracketologist 'aka' hero If you choose to accept me into The School of Bracketology, you will be opening the gates to a visionary with ambitions as high as the road to the Final Four is long. You will be getting a man who truly knows the value of integrity, and road wins in conference play; a man who may not know his girlfriend’s birthday, but knows Northern Iowa’s RPI; a man who will have “One Shining Moment” played at his wedding, his funeral, and if he could go back in time, would have it playing at his birth. My test scores may not be through the roof, but neither was George Mason’s SOS. I look forward to the challenges and trials that await me at The School of Bracketology, and I’ll leave you with one final projection: Me, all the way to the top of the profession. Thank you for your time and consideration, Intern

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2021-10-24