We Know Why Indiana Didn't Schedule Any Games Against the Gamecocks Last Year

Aritcle written by:The Fake Gimel MartinezThe Fake Gimel Martinez

In Columbia, "it doesn't matter if you're Michael Phelps. If you break the law, you gotta be held to the same standard. That's what the law is all about." That's the final words of Richland County, SC Sheriff Leon Lott in his speech to Rotary Club members. His speech predictably has made it to the Internets and is embedded for your viewing pleasure (HT: The Sporting Blog):

I love the fact that at roughly the 3:50 minute mark, Sheriff Lott says with all seriousness, "I've seen people die from the use of marijuana," while wearing a long blond-haired wig, a flak jacket and several medals.

(I have seen people making stoned people very paranoid by saying, "guys, I'm not going to say anything to the RA, but the smell of weed is all over this hallway!" I've also seen those stoned people run up and down the hallways of a Haggin Hall block with burning incense sticks and spraying cans of scented air sprays, loudly whispering "Oh f*** oh f*** oh f***" while certain other people did all they could not to laugh.)

I also love that the Sheriff voice inflections sound very similar to the Head Ball Coach, although Sheriff Lott speaks considerably slower than Spurrier. Sheriff Lott and Spurrier share the same little twinkle in the eye that shines when they are in front of a camera. Stephen Garcia and his little friend have a problem with your harshness against the mellow, brah.

So a late reminder for all you Cat fans making the journey down to Columbia: Leave your Sticky Icky Icky under your car seat. And definitely don't bring out your Precious.

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