Well, um, I don't even know her

by:Turkey Hunter01/25/06

So there comes a point in every man’s life when his confidence gets low. When the girls across the way glance in his direction and give the same reaction as if they had just laid eyes on a real life Garbage Pail Kid. When the same guy that was riding so high for so long couldn’t get lucky in a monkey whore-house with a sack full of bananas. Fellas, you know the kind of low I’m talking about. So what’s a man or basketball team to do? There is an often used, but rarely spoken about means of getting the confidence and swagger back that is necessary for success. Its called ‘slumpbusting’.
After the nail-biter that was Saturday’s game and the lone relatively high point in performance in the past few weeks being Georgia, a trip down to Auburn seemed like the perfect answer to getting the confidence back UK so desperately needs. What could be better than taking an inexperienced, sloppy, turnover ridden group of Tigers for a little woodshed time. They were to be our slumpbusters. Sure, you would rather tell your buddies you piled up a W and great stats against big names like Kansas and Florida, but at this point you’ll take what you can get.
Well, as is the case with most slumpbusting excursions, things ended up turning ugly by the end. At certain points in the game (and this paralleled moments out of this authors own escapades), I feared they had located our number. However, the Cats didn’t panic and forged on to a relatively easy victory. Now, it doesn’t really matter who that team was that UK wrestled with last night; it’s just another SEC victory and we should move forward knowing that several of our players are capable of getting quite hot from outside, as was evidenced by the first half 3 point bonanza.
The Cats can leave Auburn feeling good about themselves save this one caveat: every day I am starting to question more and more the value of Thomas. At the point in the game where he was given the open lane to take it hard to the hole, he exploded upward with all the force of a wet fart. All in all, I give his potential to succeed throughout the stretch run slightly less than Heather Mills McCartney in an ass kicking contest.
But enough about him. Welcome back Patty Sparks’s confidence, we missed you. Bobby Perry, you are becoming Clarence Carter personified. And Ravi Moss, stay gold Ponyboy. Go Cats!

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