What is "The John Calipari Experience"?

"So, John Calipari walks into a McDonalds..." During one of my breaks from reading the Sarah Phillips story on Deadspin this morning (my attention span has shortened with age), I stumbled upon an interesting news blurb. The Beaumont Centre Family YMCA is auctioning off three "John Calipari Experiences" to raise money for the Y's annual giving campaign. These "John Calipari Experiences" include watching a practice and getting a tour of the Joe Craft Center. Now, that's a wonderful prize, definitely one for which I'd raise my paddle. But, it got me thinking about what the "John Calipari Experience" should really be. Surely we can come up with something better than a practice and a tour, right? (By the way, I fully expect the three people who win this to submit practice reports to KSR stat.) The Ideal John Calipari Experience 8:00 AM: Breakfast with Cal and Joe B. Hall 10:00 AM: Mid-morning trip with Cal to the new Orange Leaf in Danville in a chartered bus, with the National Championship trophy (please bring hand sanitizer and extra Sharpies) 10:15 AM: Stop on the way at the Nicholasville McDonalds for a trophy picture opp with fans Noon: Visit to Cal's office in the Joe Craft Center 12:15 PM: Game of darts with Cal (first one to hit Mark Emmert between the eyes gets a free copy of Bounce Back!) 12:30 PM: Tour of the Joe Craft Center from the WBA and lunch with the team (Mmm...Rafferty's!) 1:15 PM: A round of trash can basketball with Matthew Mitchell while Cal calls recruits 1:30 PM: Assist Cal with his daily prank calls to Rick Pitino 2:45 PM: Watch Cal shoot a commercial for Rebecca Ruth's newest candy, "The Championship Chew" 4:00 PM: An "insider's look" at a Kentucky practice (please excuse the swearing) 5:15 PM: Read recruits' tweets to Cal while he's on the treadmill 6:00 PM: Watch Cal shoot a commercial for Ale 8 One's commemorative "Gr8" Championship sodas 7:00 PM: Papa John's pizza with Cal, the assistant coaches, and the "mean and nimble one" at Casa Calipari 9:00 PM: Late night trip to the Orange Leaf on Romany Road (optional side trip to Romany Road Kroger to visit John Short) 9:45 PM: Chartered limo trip to Bluegrass Airport to drop off Cal as he heads to watch recruits. What did I miss?