Who would Mark Stoops call out in a press conference?

Jimbo-vs-Saban is all the talk in sports today, not the NBA Combine or the NBA Playoffs or the NHL Playoffs or anything going on in Major League Baseball. The PGA Championship had a good morning when Tiger Woods birdied the first hole of his opening round at Southern Hills, but all eyes and ears turned toward SEC Football once Jimbo Fisher declared war on Nick Saban during a Thursday morning press conference from College Station.

If you missed it, (a) where have you been all day? and (b) catch up with KSR’s 10 favorite quotes from Jimbo’s attack on his SEC West coaching rival, who admits regret for singling out Fisher for “buying” recruits through NIL.

Jimbo didn’t take too kindly to Saban’s comments today.

Now that Jimbo has his gloves off and given the game its best podium moment since Bobby Petrino’s neckbrace, we need more coaching feuds unfiltered and on the record. If I were commissioner, every coach would be allowed–no, required–one press conference about the coach they dislike the most. Each summer, a special press conference must be held to talk trash about a colleague; free of any reprimand or fine or backlash from the public. One free shot each summer for entertainment purposes because today’s beef is good for the game.

For Mark Stoops, I think he could go a few different routes if he were to hold a Jimbo-like press conference:

Josh Heupel

The animosity in the Kentucky-Tennessee football rivalry is in a good place right now. Josh Heupel gave Stoops a crushing loss in Lexington last year in Heupel’s first game in the conference, and on the recruiting trail, Heupel is one of the coaches rubbing other coaches the wrong way with over-the-top pay-for-play opportunities, like the reported $8 million deal for a five-star QB. He’s Jimbo in this equation; Stoops is Saban. Some might even interpret Stoops’ recent NIL comments to KSR as a call-out of Tennessee’s recruiting behavior. Vince Marrow has made a few not-so-subtle mentions, too.

Now imagine Stoops saying all of his inner Tennessee thoughts aloud into a microphone. Even better, let him get a couple pulls of William Tarr bourbon first.

James Franklin

Another fun one for Stoops could be to step outside the conference to hit James Franklin with the Citrus Bowl ring (metaphorically, not an actual punch). Remember Stoops yelling “Bring it on!” after Franklin tried to show Kentucky up with a fake punt? Their beef has been cooking since Franklin’s Vandy days.

“Bring it on! Let’s go! Yeah! Bring it on! Bring it on!” — Mark Stoops to James Franklin after the failed fake punt on Penn State’s first possession.

I’m thinking maybe Stoops is still a tad upset at Franklin for running it up at Vandy against UK a few years back. pic.twitter.com/CcHIILP6cL

— Not Jerry Tipton (@NotJerryTipton) January 1, 2019

Just yesterday, from an opinion straight out of 2013, CBS ranked Franklin one spot ahead of Stoops on its ranking of all college coaches., which is dumb.

Think how awesome it would be to hear Stoops openly brag about having Will Levis.

Scott Satterfield

Though Stoops would have plenty to say about Satterfield, I think you have to tag in Vince Marrow and let the Big Dog eat here.

Whick opposing coach would you like to hear uncensored Stoops rant about?