Musings from Arledge: UCLA, USC's 2008 Defense, and Predictions
I don’t often talk politics in Musings. USC football has been depressing enough; why add to our woes with discussions of leprosy, pestilence, or the half-wit thoughts of our elected leaders?
That being said, I have some (non-partisan) comments today because they concern recent college football news.
Many people get upset when politicians focus on things that aren’t pressing public policy matters. Not me. I rather like it. Aren’t we all better off if politicians of both parties are distracted by shiny objects that keep them from focusing on their day jobs where they can truly cause us trouble? When my kids were young, I’d occasionally toss a small child into a playpen with some toys, hoping to distract them temporarily and earn some peace. If I could do the same with politicians, I would.
So I’m okay when politicians talk about sports. That being said, I do prefer when their sports talk is surface level talk — like Obama’s NCAA tournament picks or W’s baseball talk. Substantive sports talk is dangerous for politicos. They tend to reach deep water very quickly. So it was the other day when Governor Gavin Newsom offered his thoughts on Big 10 expansion:
“UCLA must clearly explain to the public how this deal will improve the experience for all its student-athletes, will honor its century-old partnership with UC Berkeley, and will preserve the histories, rivalries, and traditions that enrich our communities.”
Now, listen, I understand that politicians will sometimes speak when they don’t know what they’re talking about. If they didn’t, when could they speak? And I know that it takes a lot of time to keep Gavin’s very gubernatorial hair looking that gubernatorial, and I don’t want reading up on a subject to get in the way of that more important work. So let me offer an explanation that even an elected official should be able to understand.
Imagine there are two friends who are living like orphans in a Dickens novel. We’ll call one UCLA and the other Cal. Rent is coming due, the fridge is empty, the water is about to be shut off, and our two friends don’t have money for any of that. They’re destitute, their bank accounts as empty as Oregon’s trophy case. And there’s no hope on the horizon. Like when we were in the middle of Clay’s tenure. We knew things would get worse and worse until they eventually got worse.
With Cal’s long-awaited revolution of the proletariat delayed yet again, both guys are still working for a failing company making very little money and, if things don’t change quickly, they’re in real trouble. I’m talking “Clay Helton and Graham Harrell are preparing our offensive game plan” level of trouble. I mean “Oregon headed to the Mountain West” kind of trouble. Real trouble.
Now let’s imagine that one of those friends gets a lucky break. He knows a guy — call him Troy — a real go-getter that is much much highly thought of than either UCLA or Cal, and Troy is taking a job at a new company — maybe the best company in the area — and he’s willing to bring UCLA along. (Don’t ask why. Maybe Troy wants a patsy for the new office fantasy football league. Maybe so he can study them up close, like that woman scientist who used to live with the gorillas in Africa.) If UCLA takes the new job, he’ll be able to pay his debts, pay his rent, buy groceries, buy a car, maybe even take a nice vacation. If he doesn’t, he’s eating ramen noodles and living in a van down by the river.
So he does it. He takes the new gig. In the process, he avoids living in one of those enormous shanty towns that have sprung up all over your San Francisco, Governor Newsom.
Now, I ask you, what kind of buffoonery would it take for some politician to climb out of his hole and demand an explanation for why UCLA chose to take the new job so he could pay his bills instead of continuing to live in squalor?
UCLA did what it had to do. They were headed for the cliff and got rescued. Are they really required to go over the edge with Cal, in the interests of “tradition that enriches our communities”? You know what else enriches our communities? Not having a $100,000,000 deficit in the athletic department.
Besides, if Cal wanted its own lifeline, maybe Cal shouldn’t have been terrible at football for 47 of the last 50 years.
A moderator and staff member for an Oregon website speculated that USC might score 27 points per game next year, might give up 35 per game, might lose to every team it plays from the north, and that Lincoln Riley might start the season 4-4.
Some of my fellow Trojans took offense. They shouldn’t. Let’s have some compassion, friends; Oregon is hurting. People say silly things when they’re hurting. We’ve all been in arguments, emotionally overheated, and said foolish things. Oregon has been rejected and exposed as a second-rate program. You should expect them to lash out a bit.
Besides, maybe he didn’t mean to insult USC at all. After all, Oregon’s all-time record is barely over .500. Maybe Oregon people think .500 is really good. Maybe he meant to be encouraging.
Or maybe he was just distracted. Phil Knight requires Oregon writers to spend at least 30 hours per week supervising 10-year-old slave laborers in his sweat shops. Those shoes won’t make themselves! And Uncle Phil gets very angry if you set down the whip to do research during work hours, even during the twice daily 10-minute nap and gruel breaks.
And these days there is so much research to do. How can Oregon writers cover their team properly if they don’t get up to speed on their future conference foes in the Mountain West or Big Sky? (Hint: Eastern Washington has the red field; Boise has the blue.)
So let’s cut the guy some slack.
You can see how far Tennessee has fallen in the SEC pecking order by the fact that the NCAA has decided to target them. (Though not that aggressively; they are not making a lack-of-institutional-control allegation despite the seriousness of the allegations and the fact that the institution clearly lacked control.) Remember, the SEC is like one of those primitive cultures that occasionally feels the need to sacrifice a virgin to the volcano god to keep things running smoothly. That somebody gets tossed into the lava every few years is not surprising. That Tennessee is the expendable one is. You’d think they could toss Mississippi State instead. My how Rocky Top has fallen.
What was ESPN thinking in their article on the top 50 defenses of all time?
Only a couple of USC teams make the list — about half the list is from Alabama, it seems — and the 2008 defense did not make the cut. That’s just silly. That 2008 defense was the best USC defense I’ve ever seen. That group was sick. Thirteen defensive players made NFL rosters, and some of them were superstars: Matthews, Maualuga, Cushing, Taylor Mays, Kevin Ellison, Everson Griffin, and more. And the stats show how great the group was: three shutouts, six of the thirteen opponents scored one touchdown or less (including a highly ranked Ohio State team), and opposing teams only scored nine points per game. They really played a single half of non-dominating football all year. It was Carroll’s best defense, and Pete had some great defenses. Just a terrible job by ESPN compiling that list.
Some early predictions:
Tennessee will get a slap on the wrist for violations much more serious than the Reggie Bush allegations. USC fans will continue to seethe over Haden and Nikias’s Neville Chamberlain-like “thank you sir, may I have another?” NCAA negotiating strategy.
Dan Lanning will leave Oregon in 2024 to coach a school in the MAC. He’ll want the challenge of coaching in a bigger, more prestigious conference.
Some of that Texas booster NIL money will be re-directed to buying out Steve Sarkisian before the end of next season. The Longhorns will name their richest booster the new coach so they can remove the middleman from the whole NIL process.
Brian Kelly will have the most-viewed TikTok dancing video of 2022.
Alabama will win the national title this year. Nick Saban will retire on top and before the NIL changes take away his massive talent advantage.
Brent Venables will rush the field when his handler becomes distracted and lets go of the leash. He’ll collide with the Boomer Schooner. Thankfully, nobody will be seriously hurt. Then he’ll leave OU to take the UCLA job.
