When I was a kid my parents moved a lot. But I always found them.
- Thread starter Mr. Potter
- Start date
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
My wife made me join her bridge club. I jump next Tuesday.
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
My wife and I, we think it’s important to talk during sex, so she calls me from the hotel room.
I went to see my doctor… Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah…I told him once, “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me? He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”
My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy. I told him, “If you don’t mind, I’d like a second opinion.” He said, “All right. You’re ugly too!”
Well I don’t know about anybody else, but mine are Rodney Dangerfield's.
And they are good ones!
I could be wrong, but the thread-opening joke seemed a lot like Wright.
I go out to a restaurant and spot who I think must be my blind date.
"Are you Mary?"
"Are you Rodney?"
"Yes."
"I'm not Mary."
"Are you Mary?"
"Are you Rodney?"
"Yes."
"I'm not Mary."
My daughter, oh wow, what a kid. She kept flunking her driving test over and over. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
I know my wife cheats on me. Every time I come home the parrot says, “quick, out the window”.
My wife and I made a deal. We only smoke after sex. I’m on the same pack since 1975. What bothers me is she’s up to 3 packs a day.
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My wife likes to talk to me during sex. The other night she called me from the Holiday Inn!
Boy I’ll tell you, my wife is fat. I took her to the beach last week. They asked me what I used for bait!
I’ll tell ya, my wife and I, we don’t think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I’ll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
My wife’s cooking is so bad, the roaches hang themselves with dental floss.