WATCH: Harry Miller joins TODAY show, talks decision to medically retire due to mental health
Former Ohio State Buckeyes offensive lineman Harry Miller recently announced his medical retirement from football. Miller released a lengthy statement at the time of his retirement, citing mental health issues. On Monday, Miller joined the TODAY show, where he had a heartfelt and emotional interview on his decision to retire.
For Miller, his mental health issues go back to his childhood. He said in the interview that he has battled these issues for his entire life, and that once he began playing college football, it became tough to balance the pressures of being a student athlete and trying to take care of himself in the process. Now, Miller has decided to retire from football and is trying to relay his message to people all over the world.
“I guess I’ve always felt anxious and depressed,” Miller said. “Years passed – I felt good in high school. Got to college, and it’s just sort of difficult. You’ve got these young people being thrusted under these bright lights. As a student athlete, you play a game, it’s a hard game. Perhaps you made a mistake. People send you messages saying, ‘transfer, you suck.’ Some people get death threats that I know on the team. I’m trying to text my mom and that’s the first thing I see. And you can’t worry about it too much because you’ve got an exam the next day.
“You have that for weeks and months and by the end of the semester you’re saying, ‘what is happening right now?’ It just breaks my heart. When I was going through my therapy, I was seeing stories of Miss America’s and athletes all over the board. I just kept thinking, if somebody would just say something. I’m just really grateful that I was able to have received the care and love and affection that I did so that I could.”
Miller shares a message to those also battling mental health issues
Later in the interview, Miller was asked to share a message with people who might be going through the same thing that he has gone through with his mental health. Before beginning, he made sure to find a camera to look into, so that he could truly speak to those who are watching.
“It’s so hard. I realized the weight of words when I was – when you’re preparing to not be able to say words anymore, you realize how important your words are,” Miller said. “Even now, they feel so clumsy, speaking about it now. I would say hope is just pretending to believe in something until one day you don’t have to pretend anymore. Right now, you have all the logic, all the rationale in the world to give up on it. But I would just ask to pretend for a little bit. And then one day you won’t have to pretend anymore and you’ll be happy. I’m just so grateful.”
In Miller’s statement upon his retirement, he said that he told Ohio State head coach Ryan Day of his intention to kill himself. He then got the care and treatment that he did, and now, Miller is sharing a valuable and powerful message and trying to help those individuals across the world that could be fighting similar battles.
“The dilemma is that nobody has to say something, but that is precisely why somebody has to say something,” Miller said. “I had no intention of this happening the way that it did. And people have called me brave, but to me it just felt like not dying and it felt like being honest. Maybe bravery is just being honest when it would be easier not to.”