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Best Joke You’ve Heard Lately

unctarheel1984

unctarheel1984

All-American
Aug 15, 2002
9,254
6,396
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An older couple is sitting at the table across from each other, the weariness evident in their faces. He is nursing a glass of bourbon and finally says, “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

Skeptical, she looks up and asks, “Is that you talking or the whiskey?”

“Me”, he says, “talkin’ to the whiskey.”
 
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unctarheel1984

unctarheel1984

All-American
Aug 15, 2002
9,254
6,396
101
Top Water said:
UNC football season tickets plus parking!
Click to expand...
Sad Disappointed GIF by Paramount Network
 
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kik84

All-Conference
Jul 29, 2025
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A drunk guy in a bar threatens to beat up another guy, telling him he was going to be protein,

The other guy replies, "Damn right, I'm very protein, I'm dating a 19 year-old!"
 
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Ibsnoman

Ibsnoman

Redshirt
Jul 31, 2025
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3
Made a little something ahead of Dublin.

Two rival coaches get stuck sharing one podium before the opener. It goes off the rails fast. About 90 seconds.

If you get a laugh out of it, a like or a comment helps — more of these coming through the season.

 
FreeLunch

FreeLunch

All-Conference
Jul 30, 2025
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A brief history of economic thought .... from Luis Garicano:


Adam Smith said a bunch of stuff that was mostly right. Marx said a bunch of stuff that was wrong. Keynes fixed some things up, messed some others. Then Lucas broke everything again.

Now, we've got it all basically worked out, except for money, growth, recessions, banks, bubbles, inflation, unemployment, inequality, exchange rates, and what human beings are about.
 
Ibsnoman

Ibsnoman

Redshirt
Jul 31, 2025
16
21
3
I made a parody of the two guys who are dead certain everybody
is sleeping on their team. Curious whether it plays for people who
actually talk like this in August.

 
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Heel Alum

Senior
Jul 23, 2025
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in honor of our opener on Saturday, worst pick up line: "Hey baby you must be from Ireland cause my **** is Dublin"
 
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kik84

All-Conference
Jul 29, 2025
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What's the favorite 1980s song of Emperor Palpatine?

"On the Dark Side," by John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band
 
unctarheel1984

unctarheel1984

All-American
Aug 15, 2002
9,254
6,396
101
Heel Alum said:
in honor of our opener on Saturday, worst pick up line: "Hey baby you must be from Ireland cause my **** is Dublin"
Click to expand...
My favorite along that line is to ask a pretty girl on St. Paddy’s Day, “Do you have a little Irish in ya?” And when she says no, ask “Would you care to?”
 
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THEericstrattonrushchairman

Senior
Aug 1, 2025
365
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93
Saul, husband of Cora, falls ill and dies, Cora goes to the newspaper to write the obituary. . $5 a word.
Cora says “ Saul died” . 5 word minimum . Cora says,,” Saul died .. Volvo for sale”
 
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