We evil monkeys do things on our own time, so if that means you don't get a Week 1 Power Ranking for THE best damn conference in the entire world (possibly because of procrastination), then so be it...........With that said, it is NOW time, yes, it is time, for THE most accurate Power Rankings for the Big Ten Conference in the known universe, and for those that are new to this game, if you disagree with any single one of the teams in the order of this ranking...............you are wrong. How does it feel to be so wrong?
Let us begin.
Big Ten Power Rankings (Week 2, allegedly)-
1. Iowa- For those that don't know, the legend goes any time Iowa loses to Iowa State in a game of college football, they are destined for failure and are guaranteed to finish the season with 8 or fewer wins (including the bowl season now after recent results).......................Iowa did not lose. What this has meant in the era of one Captain James T. Kirk Ferentz of the U.S.S Iowa, is that Iowa has gone on to win AT LEAST 8 regular season games every year with the lone exception being a injury-plagued and internally messy 2006 season that saw Iowa finish 6-7. So you know what that means boys and girls,
2. WIndiana- Curt Cignetti continues to defy the odds, and the football gods, as the transformation of Indiana, of all places (and not Ohio State or Oregon), into the 2020s version of the Saban Bama dynasty marches along. They are Indiana and they are going to embarrass you on the football field, and it makes absolutely no damn sense. And we here at EvilMonkeyEmpire Inc. will continue to allow it for at least another year or two, simply because college football needs the chaos.
3. Ohio State- Despite the epic choke job with the entire weight of the conference's reputation on their shoulders (not really, but we tell Ohio State fans that because it's a fun way to troll them.....), the Buckeyes are essentially still right with Indiana at the top of the conference. Say what you want about why or how they blew that game on the road against Texas, but Ohio State will still find a way to win all the games in conference play and contend for the B10 title and make the playoffs and be a contender for the national championship once again ho hum blah blah blah, blah blah. I will say, though, that despite the blip in the radar 2024 season where their highest paid roster was able to score a national title before the rest of college football could catch up, it should be noted how the Buckeyes have essentially become this gatekeeper for the B10 conference rather than the standard bearer for which all others strive to knock off. The last 5 B10 champions have not been Ohio State after Ohio State's four-year reign of terror from 2017-2020, and only in 2025 did the Buckeyes participate in the CCG, with Indiana eventually making it pretty clear who the best team was (both in the conference and the country). However, for those hoping this shocking loss at Texas is signifying the beginning of the end of the Day and OSU dynasty as contenders atop the conference, don't hold your breath.
4. Penn State- A very tentative slide into the #4 spot goes the Nittany Lions, simply because of the next group of teams, they took care of business the way they were supposed to (for the most part). It's still too early to forgive Michigan for getting to survive the WMU game, and Oregon seems like a team that was wanting to skip the regular season and get right to the playoffs without having earned that right yet. So for now, despite not wanting to see Matt Campbell jump right in and being gifted instant success at Penn State, I have them here at 4.
5. Michigan- Probably one of the easiest sports bets of the weekend came from the result of a college football game in Ann Arbor, Michigan this past Saturday. I've seen this bullsh** movie WAAAAAAYYYYYY too many times, especially in the NFL, not to have laid money on the Wolverines bouncing back against the favored Sooners. Michigan was the butt of all the jokes throughout the week, and rightfully so, after stealing a win from Western Michigan regardless of the fact that they got the call right. Just don't complete the hail mary and take the loss anyways. That's all we college football fans want from you.....and you couldn't f***ing do it. But everyone was piling on from Ohio State fans, to the media, to social media, to Jim Harbaugh haters who can't let go even 2 years after he left the program, and on and on. You just knew that was gonna galvanize their team and they'd find a way to win their next game despite EVERYONE not sporting maize and blue wanting to see them lose. Easiest bet of the weekend. And it's f***ing stupid. I want Iowa to beat Michigan. Stop pissing them off so that they get up for every game. Let them sleepwalk and overlook Iowa so they lose. They don't need to f***ing win their game against Iowa. Stop triggering them..........thank you, you as*holes. Friends?
Anyway, where was I?.....oh yes. Big picture, what did we learn about the two teams that played in this game? That they are no different than their 2025 counterparts, essentially. Overhyped dual threat QBs, offenses that can't score against elite defenses, and very solid to great defenses depending on who you ask that will be forced to carry them in their respective conferences to how many ever wins they're gonna eek out. More than likely right now, if either sucks out enough wins to make the playoffs, they will basically be fodder for the first good offense they face. Alabama was not an elite offense last year, and they showed in the playoff that for as good as Oklahoma's defense can be....they can still get got. Michigan showed that they can win rock fights with teams that don't have competent offenses by 2026 standards. Fortunately for them, there will still be enough of those teams on their schedule that they have a chance to make the playoffs. Their schedule, however, will prevent them from winning a conference title, and their offense has already shown it is not capable of winning a national title. Michigan fans will need to adjust accordingly even though we are only TWO (alledgedly) weeks into the season.............
6. Oregon- As I mentioned before, this is a team that has all the talent in the world on both sides to supposedly compete for a national title.......the problem is they are also very much looking like a team still haunted by their blowout loss to Indiana in the CFP semifinals. Like I said earlier, they are simply playing like a team that wants to skip the regular season and get right back to the CFP to "get their win back", and forgetting that you still kinda need to earn your way into the playoffs. On the plus side for Oregon fans, the loss to Oklahoma State is a non-conference game and early in the season, so everything is technically STILL in front of them. With that said, given how tricky the remainder of their schedule is, taking even one more loss puts their backs squarely against the wall, especially with this season setting up to potentially be a VERY BIG log jam of 10-2 teams battling for limited playoff spots. That Ohio State game could honestly turn into an elimination game for both teams.
7. USC- Despite all the preseason hype, USC has somehow quietly gone about their business and gotten off to a 3-0 start. Nothing too flashy. They are what we kinda expected. Very high end offense, a few nitpicks with the defense. It's just that you can't move them much higher than this until they prove otherwise. I probably should put them above both Oregon and Michigan, but Michigan DOES deserve some credit for not letting the entire conference's reputation vs the SEC die overnight and I simply don't think USC is better than Oregon, but the great news is that we'll get to find out in two weeks.
8. UCLA- Probably the most underrated team in the conference, UCLA has picked up two solid wins against "Pac 12" teams while representing the B10 conference.........because we can't have things make too much sense in 2026.
The Bruins opened the season with a win over former rival California on the road, and then took down a typically solid G5 program in San Diego State. UCLA may not be ready yet to compete for the playoffs under Bob Chesney (who btw was the successor to Curt Cignetti at James Madison prior to taking the job in LA), but they are going to give plenty of teams fits in the mean time.
9. Washington- I honestly don't know where to rank the Huskies. They've slogged through their first two games eeking out wins over rival Washington State and lowly MWC foe Utah State. The schedule gets tougher in a couple weeks, and unless the Huskies wake up, they could be a potential candidate to join the grand list of teams each year that start the season ranked (with hype), and finish well outside the Top 25.
10. Northwestern- The only B10 team on a bye this week, the Wildcats have a little momentum as they march into the 2026 season under 4th year head coach David Braun. Chip Kelly is randomly the OC with dual-threat QB Aidan Chiles behind center. The Wildcats pulled away from FCS power South Dakota State in their season opener and now get to welcome the craziness of the Deion Sanders experience this coming Saturday. Much like UCLA, Northwestern will not be a playoff team, but rather one of those teams on your schedule you'll need to "survive" along your potential path.......
Let us begin.
Big Ten Power Rankings (Week 2, allegedly)-
1. Iowa- For those that don't know, the legend goes any time Iowa loses to Iowa State in a game of college football, they are destined for failure and are guaranteed to finish the season with 8 or fewer wins (including the bowl season now after recent results).......................Iowa did not lose. What this has meant in the era of one Captain James T. Kirk Ferentz of the U.S.S Iowa, is that Iowa has gone on to win AT LEAST 8 regular season games every year with the lone exception being a injury-plagued and internally messy 2006 season that saw Iowa finish 6-7. So you know what that means boys and girls,
2. WIndiana- Curt Cignetti continues to defy the odds, and the football gods, as the transformation of Indiana, of all places (and not Ohio State or Oregon), into the 2020s version of the Saban Bama dynasty marches along. They are Indiana and they are going to embarrass you on the football field, and it makes absolutely no damn sense. And we here at EvilMonkeyEmpire Inc. will continue to allow it for at least another year or two, simply because college football needs the chaos.
3. Ohio State- Despite the epic choke job with the entire weight of the conference's reputation on their shoulders (not really, but we tell Ohio State fans that because it's a fun way to troll them.....), the Buckeyes are essentially still right with Indiana at the top of the conference. Say what you want about why or how they blew that game on the road against Texas, but Ohio State will still find a way to win all the games in conference play and contend for the B10 title and make the playoffs and be a contender for the national championship once again ho hum blah blah blah, blah blah. I will say, though, that despite the blip in the radar 2024 season where their highest paid roster was able to score a national title before the rest of college football could catch up, it should be noted how the Buckeyes have essentially become this gatekeeper for the B10 conference rather than the standard bearer for which all others strive to knock off. The last 5 B10 champions have not been Ohio State after Ohio State's four-year reign of terror from 2017-2020, and only in 2025 did the Buckeyes participate in the CCG, with Indiana eventually making it pretty clear who the best team was (both in the conference and the country). However, for those hoping this shocking loss at Texas is signifying the beginning of the end of the Day and OSU dynasty as contenders atop the conference, don't hold your breath.
4. Penn State- A very tentative slide into the #4 spot goes the Nittany Lions, simply because of the next group of teams, they took care of business the way they were supposed to (for the most part). It's still too early to forgive Michigan for getting to survive the WMU game, and Oregon seems like a team that was wanting to skip the regular season and get right to the playoffs without having earned that right yet. So for now, despite not wanting to see Matt Campbell jump right in and being gifted instant success at Penn State, I have them here at 4.
5. Michigan- Probably one of the easiest sports bets of the weekend came from the result of a college football game in Ann Arbor, Michigan this past Saturday. I've seen this bullsh** movie WAAAAAAYYYYYY too many times, especially in the NFL, not to have laid money on the Wolverines bouncing back against the favored Sooners. Michigan was the butt of all the jokes throughout the week, and rightfully so, after stealing a win from Western Michigan regardless of the fact that they got the call right. Just don't complete the hail mary and take the loss anyways. That's all we college football fans want from you.....and you couldn't f***ing do it. But everyone was piling on from Ohio State fans, to the media, to social media, to Jim Harbaugh haters who can't let go even 2 years after he left the program, and on and on. You just knew that was gonna galvanize their team and they'd find a way to win their next game despite EVERYONE not sporting maize and blue wanting to see them lose. Easiest bet of the weekend. And it's f***ing stupid. I want Iowa to beat Michigan. Stop pissing them off so that they get up for every game. Let them sleepwalk and overlook Iowa so they lose. They don't need to f***ing win their game against Iowa. Stop triggering them..........thank you, you as*holes. Friends?
Anyway, where was I?.....oh yes. Big picture, what did we learn about the two teams that played in this game? That they are no different than their 2025 counterparts, essentially. Overhyped dual threat QBs, offenses that can't score against elite defenses, and very solid to great defenses depending on who you ask that will be forced to carry them in their respective conferences to how many ever wins they're gonna eek out. More than likely right now, if either sucks out enough wins to make the playoffs, they will basically be fodder for the first good offense they face. Alabama was not an elite offense last year, and they showed in the playoff that for as good as Oklahoma's defense can be....they can still get got. Michigan showed that they can win rock fights with teams that don't have competent offenses by 2026 standards. Fortunately for them, there will still be enough of those teams on their schedule that they have a chance to make the playoffs. Their schedule, however, will prevent them from winning a conference title, and their offense has already shown it is not capable of winning a national title. Michigan fans will need to adjust accordingly even though we are only TWO (alledgedly) weeks into the season.............
6. Oregon- As I mentioned before, this is a team that has all the talent in the world on both sides to supposedly compete for a national title.......the problem is they are also very much looking like a team still haunted by their blowout loss to Indiana in the CFP semifinals. Like I said earlier, they are simply playing like a team that wants to skip the regular season and get right back to the CFP to "get their win back", and forgetting that you still kinda need to earn your way into the playoffs. On the plus side for Oregon fans, the loss to Oklahoma State is a non-conference game and early in the season, so everything is technically STILL in front of them. With that said, given how tricky the remainder of their schedule is, taking even one more loss puts their backs squarely against the wall, especially with this season setting up to potentially be a VERY BIG log jam of 10-2 teams battling for limited playoff spots. That Ohio State game could honestly turn into an elimination game for both teams.
7. USC- Despite all the preseason hype, USC has somehow quietly gone about their business and gotten off to a 3-0 start. Nothing too flashy. They are what we kinda expected. Very high end offense, a few nitpicks with the defense. It's just that you can't move them much higher than this until they prove otherwise. I probably should put them above both Oregon and Michigan, but Michigan DOES deserve some credit for not letting the entire conference's reputation vs the SEC die overnight and I simply don't think USC is better than Oregon, but the great news is that we'll get to find out in two weeks.
8. UCLA- Probably the most underrated team in the conference, UCLA has picked up two solid wins against "Pac 12" teams while representing the B10 conference.........because we can't have things make too much sense in 2026.
The Bruins opened the season with a win over former rival California on the road, and then took down a typically solid G5 program in San Diego State. UCLA may not be ready yet to compete for the playoffs under Bob Chesney (who btw was the successor to Curt Cignetti at James Madison prior to taking the job in LA), but they are going to give plenty of teams fits in the mean time.
9. Washington- I honestly don't know where to rank the Huskies. They've slogged through their first two games eeking out wins over rival Washington State and lowly MWC foe Utah State. The schedule gets tougher in a couple weeks, and unless the Huskies wake up, they could be a potential candidate to join the grand list of teams each year that start the season ranked (with hype), and finish well outside the Top 25.
10. Northwestern- The only B10 team on a bye this week, the Wildcats have a little momentum as they march into the 2026 season under 4th year head coach David Braun. Chip Kelly is randomly the OC with dual-threat QB Aidan Chiles behind center. The Wildcats pulled away from FCS power South Dakota State in their season opener and now get to welcome the craziness of the Deion Sanders experience this coming Saturday. Much like UCLA, Northwestern will not be a playoff team, but rather one of those teams on your schedule you'll need to "survive" along your potential path.......
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