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Seismicity Report For The Rodent Game 10-24-2026

I

Iron Doc

All-Conference
Nov 5, 2005
1,014
1,397
113
Comrades:

Once again, we are providing our best estimate of seismicity risks for the Hawk Nation's next game. I and the staff at our control center located in the trackless wilds of NC Iowa are committed to ensuring your safety. Losing one of the Hawk Devotees due to unforeseen fissures, lahars, thermal pools, etc would be unfortunate.

With that said, our primary focus is fear that the bedrock underlying current Minneapolis-St.Paul could rupture from aftershocks from the Mercalli V scale quake that struck between Minneapolis and Mankato in 1865. This has been on our radar for some time (cringe).

plate-1.pdf

Of lesser concern (currently) is the nonzero chance of bedrock shifting in the general area of Minnesota's Penokean Orogeny. While the Penokean primarily manifests its presence in the Lake Superior region, bedrock dislocations between now and this weekend COULD negatively affect the junction of the Minnesota, St. Croix, and Mississippi rivers (which would be a bad thing).

The Penokean orogeny in the Lake Superior Region | Request PDF

Stay tuned to this thread for any and all updates.
 
HoggI74

HoggI74

All-American
Nov 27, 2015
3,413
5,865
113
I'll take my chances on the earthquakes, however...

Major Diseases Spread by Rodent Droppings
  • Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome (HPS): Caused by strains like the Sin Nombre virus (carried by deer mice), contracted by inhaling aerosolized dust from dried urine, droppings, or saliva. It starts with flu-like symptoms (fever, muscle aches, fatigue) and can rapidly progress to severe respiratory failure and fluid buildup in the lungs. [1, 2, 3]
  • Salmonellosis: A type of food poisoning contracted when rodent feces contaminate food or kitchen surfaces. Symptoms include severe diarrhea, abdominal pain, and fever. [1, 2]
  • Hemorrhagic Fever with Renal Syndrome (HFRS) / Seoul Virus: Spread by Norway rats and other rodents, affecting kidney function and causing fever or internal complications. [1, 2]
  • Rat-Bite Fever and Arenaviruses: Bacterial or viral infections transmitted through contact with rodent waste, urine, or bites.
 
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Outbackbowl2017

Outbackbowl2017

All-Conference
Dec 4, 2016
1,918
3,220
113
KuwaitHawk said:
There will be seismic activity AFTER the Hawks rock Kinnick North with a win.
Click to expand...
Before, during, and after at the Bank where some young lady is gonna get a deposit in one of those restrooms. Talk about seismic activity. If the stall is a rockin, don’t be a knockin
 
W

WeBeHerkin

All-American
Aug 5, 2016
5,698
6,441
113
HoggI74 said:
I'll take my chances on the earthquakes, however...

Major Diseases Spread by Rodent Droppings
  • Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome (HPS): Caused by strains like the Sin Nombre virus (carried by deer mice), contracted by inhaling aerosolized dust from dried urine, droppings, or saliva. It starts with flu-like symptoms (fever, muscle aches, fatigue) and can rapidly progress to severe respiratory failure and fluid buildup in the lungs. [1, 2, 3]
  • Salmonellosis: A type of food poisoning contracted when rodent feces contaminate food or kitchen surfaces. Symptoms include severe diarrhea, abdominal pain, and fever. [1, 2]
  • Hemorrhagic Fever with Renal Syndrome (HFRS) / Seoul Virus: Spread by Norway rats and other rodents, affecting kidney function and causing fever or internal complications. [1, 2]
  • Rat-Bite Fever and Arenaviruses: Bacterial or viral infections transmitted through contact with rodent waste, urine, or bites.
Click to expand...
Are we including CDC alerts in the discussion now? What’s brewing in the Twin Cities?
 
I

Iron Doc

All-Conference
Nov 5, 2005
1,014
1,397
113
HoggI74 said:
I'll take my chances on the earthquakes, however...

Major Diseases Spread by Rodent Droppings
  • Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome (HPS): Caused by strains like the Sin Nombre virus (carried by deer mice), contracted by inhaling aerosolized dust from dried urine, droppings, or saliva. It starts with flu-like symptoms (fever, muscle aches, fatigue) and can rapidly progress to severe respiratory failure and fluid buildup in the lungs. [1, 2, 3]
  • Salmonellosis: A type of food poisoning contracted when rodent feces contaminate food or kitchen surfaces. Symptoms include severe diarrhea, abdominal pain, and fever. [1, 2]
  • Hemorrhagic Fever with Renal Syndrome (HFRS) / Seoul Virus: Spread by Norway rats and other rodents, affecting kidney function and causing fever or internal complications. [1, 2]
  • Rat-Bite Fever and Arenaviruses: Bacterial or viral infections transmitted through contact with rodent waste, urine, or bites.
Click to expand...
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Repent of your sins before encountering the Rodents, in case you don't make it!
 
I

Iron Doc

All-Conference
Nov 5, 2005
1,014
1,397
113
We have studied the seismicity of the Mississippi/Minnesota/St.Croix river junction in great depth this week.
We have consulted the CalTech, CERI, USGS, Yellowstone, and Caribbean/Gulf of Mexico monitoring sites, among others.
With that said, we are of the opinion that it SHOULD be safe to migrate to/attend/return from our glorious curb stomping of the Rodents.

TO BE SURE, I have talked to Heimdal and asked him (and Odin's ravens) to be on the watch for any impending natural disasters.

SKOL HAWKS!!!
 
83Hawk

83Hawk

All-Conference
Jan 1, 2023
1,906
4,252
113
Current kaiju chances remain low. Some minor concern of Mechagodzilla appearing in the Midwest, which could trigger a reaction from Godzilla.
 
I

Iron Doc

All-Conference
Nov 5, 2005
1,014
1,397
113
Unfortunately, our weekly Seismicity alert series failed to get an adequate Nielsen rating.
For that reason, the staff and I have decided to suspend the seismicity reports indefinitely.
It seems like a safe course of action as Evanston is known for nerds/intellectuals, not fault zones.
 
W

WeBeHerkin

All-American
Aug 5, 2016
5,698
6,441
113
Iron Doc said:
Unfortunately, our weekly Seismicity alert series failed to get an adequate Nielsen rating.
For that reason, the staff and I have decided to suspend the seismicity reports indefinitely.
It seems like a safe course of action as Evanston is known for nerds/intellectuals, not fault zones.
Click to expand...
Bad ju ju ensuing.
 
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