Advice - Wedding

[Metcalfe_linbacker45]

I don't post her often just usually read but I bit the bullet and decided to get married and since everyone here is a pro at everything I figured I couldn't go wrong with the advice given lol

She is dead set on getting married in June but this June is too early so it will be June 2016 but I want to try and get an idea of how much hell this is going to be and much out of pocket I'm going to be.

So can anyone give me any tips, advice, or things you would have done differently?

Some of the venues the future wife has already contacted has made comments about if serving alcohol you have to have temp liquor licenses, is that true if you are only selling it or even if it's free to the guests?

Looking to have the wedding in South Central Ky area we live in Bowling Green so probably have the wedding here or somewhere close.

 

[RacerX.ksr]

If you don't post her often now, just wait til you get married.

 

[maverick1_rivals376538]

Originally posted by Metcalfe_linbacker45:
So can anyone give me any tips, advice, or things you would have done differently?

I wouldn't have, so I'd advise "don't."

 

[Deeeefense]

Purely and simply weddings are rip-offs. The average wedding now cost $26K when you add it all up. It's like burning hundred dollar bills.

Go for a simple ceremony and use the rest of the cash for an enjoyable trip or put it into a home. Another popular alternative is destination weddings.

 

[tammefan]

Im guessing 10k easy. No wedding is cheap unless your eloping. Advice would be save money for honeymoon or down payment for house. Looking back my wedding day was stressful. Didnt really enjoy the moment.

 

[bradyjames_rivals]

Originally posted by Deeeefense:
Purely and simply weddings are rip-offs. The average wedding now cost $26K when you add it all up. Another popular alternative is destination weddings.

Yeah, do that so the 26 obligated people that go pay the 26k instead.

This post was edited on 3/5 12:38 PM by bradyjames

 

[TankedCat]

in the words of Kanye

We want pre-nup, We want pre-nup!

congrats - I have no advice on the cost, I had a big blow out in my first wedding and went justice of the peace on the my second.

Just make sure you take time to enjoy the day - its a celebration - don't plan it out like the Swiss trains.

 

[BlueRaider22]

Women often dream of the wedding at a very early age. She'll want it her way. My advice is to sit her down calmly and reason with her. If she still wants what she wants then shut up and go through the process.

I got lucky. My wife was very practical about the wedding. She knows that weddings aren't about the couple (or just the bride). Weddings are about everyone else. 90% of the planning is how to decorate for the guests. What are gonna feed them? What music do they want to dance to? How many bridesmaids......12 or 15? Gotta invite every person you've ever met in your life right? You have to show off right? Sharon had doves so we have to have doves.

Our entire wedding cost as much as the pictures. 13 total in attendance. And our honeymoon was 2 was of bliss that cost twice what the wedding cost. We were so thrilled how it turned out. But good luck on dropping $20k on something that amounts to about 3 hrs of your life.

 

[UKGrad93]

Sounds like you need to start one of those gofundme pages.


Weddings seem like a waste of money to me. Better to save that money for the divorce lawyer.

 

[GYERater]

Talk her into a destination wedding with as few people as possible showing up, you all can disappear for the honeymoon afterwards and whoever else showed up can do their own thing.

 

[Dennis Reynolds]

No one can really tell you what to expect to pay overall, because it depends on too many things. You can spend $500 or you can spend $100k.

As for advice on saving money:

DJ cheaper than a Band, and an ipod is cheaper than a DJ

Buffet is cheaper than a sit down meal, and hor d stations are cheaper than a buffet

A venue that will let you BYO liquor cheaper than paying per person or by the drink

Flowers are a racket. Talk your wife out of having flowers (and good luck with that)

Destination Wedding typically cheaper than in town because much fewer people come. I think DW are a dick move personally.

Use a website like vistaprint or tinyprints for wedding invites. Have a wedding website with info and ask for RSVP's via email or website - saves money on reply cards and postage.

Photographers are expensive. Get someone who will basically take pictures then send you a file of them, instead of HAVING to use them to do the albums.

If you are dealing with vendors (food, chairs, decorations, etc) if you can, avoid telling them that it's for a wedding if possible til after you have negotiated pricing. Prices get JACKED UP for weddings. Why should chairs or food cost more just because it's a wedding?

Whatever budget you set, plan for a 20% increase to occur the WEEK OF the wedding. All sorts of last minute crap comes up, and Bride goes apeshit if you can't have xyz.

 

[*dezyDECO*]

Originally posted by maverick1:

Originally posted by Metcalfe_linbacker45:
So can anyone give me any tips, advice, or things you would have done differently?

I wouldn't have, so I'd advise "don't."

No internet when I got hitched. Sure could've used you back then.

 

[KingOfBBN]

Originally posted by Metcalfe_linbacker45:
I don't post her often just usually read but I bit the bullet and decided to get married and since everyone here is a pro at everything I figured I couldn't go wrong with the advice given lol

She is dead set on getting married in June but this June is too early so it will be June 2016 but I want to try and get an idea of how much hell this is going to be and much out of pocket I'm going to be.

So can anyone give me any tips, advice, or things you would have done differently?

Some of the venues the future wife has already contacted has made comments about if serving alcohol you have to have temp liquor licenses, is that true if you are only selling it or even if it's free to the guests?

Looking to have the wedding in South Central Ky area we live in Bowling Green so probably have the wedding here or somewhere close.

Why aren't her folks paying for anything?

My wife and I had an awesome wedding in Lexington in the historical district and couldn't have went any better. My best advice is, to get family to pull together to do the food which is mostly appetizers and dessert type stuff. My wife who isn't like a ton of women wanting to spend every dollar we had, was amazing at bargaining. Both our DJ and wedding photographer were really expensive and had big rates but in both cases, we said "Look, this is what we got, if you want it for a few hours of work, great. If not, we will find something else" And both times, they took it and told us not to tell anyone they took that rate.

I would also, re-think a June wedding when it is miserably hot and the busiest season of weddings which makes venues and everyone else more expensive. September is idealm in my opinion. Not too hot, places are cheaper, and your honeymoon will be cheaper because its offseason.

 

[CatDaddy4daWin]

Going through the process right now. We're doing a wedding down at the beach in North Carolina. Most of my/her family were already planning on being down for the beach so we decided to do it then. And since we're able to do it at the house we're saving a ton vs. paying for a church or other spot.

Our budget is about 6k and so far so good.

Most expensive stuff is photographer, food and DJ

So far we have:
DJ - $800 for wedding & reception
Photographer - $1200
Food (buffet) - $1700
Bar - doing margarita machine and beer so no licenses needed

Instead of a cake we're just doing a smores bar. No bridesmaids or groomsmen because they're dumb.

Luckily my girl did not want a big wedding or need a huge ring, so the wedding is going to cost about twice as much as her ring.

All told, with rings, dresses and wedding, probably looking at 10-12k.

Good luck and congratulations.

 

[Metcalfe_linbacker45]

This is great stuff....a couple of things last Friday was 5 years we have been dating and this July will be 3 full years we have been living together in our house I bought 3 years ago so the chance we want be together will be a lot lower than 30% lol

Her family probably won't pay for anything because they don't have money, we come from a a very poor area and I make more in a year than her parents combined and no I don't make 6 figures either.

I really wish we could just have something small and simple since we have been together for 5 years and for the past 3 all she has talked about is getting married.


but all this is awesome I appreciate every bit of it. We already have a photographer in mind who went to school with the future wife who is really good and not expensive, we have a friend who does cakes for weddings who is giving us a great deal and we have another friend who is going to do the DJ for free but I'm not sure how good they are but apparently they do it all the time for special events.

 

[Dennis Reynolds]

What wedding DJ is "good"? If they were "good" they wouldn't be DJing weddings.

Give him a playlist of what you want to hear, tell him to stick to that. If he has to buy the songs on itunes, so be it. If he is a dick about playing "his music" fire his *** because it's your day (well, your wife's but whatever)

 

[Beavis606]

All women = BBC. But there are indications in your OP that yours is crazier than most. Wedding must be in June. Been together 5 years, lived together 3 years, but this June is too soon? Good luck, you'll need it.

 

[Metcalfe_linbacker45]

Actually I'm the one who didn't want to do it this June. Just too much going on right now and with June being 3 months away I felt it wasn't enough time and then of course the number #1 rule is no wedding during football season, I can't think of anything worse then getting the dreaded to a wedding on the biggest Saturday for college football having to sneak off to catch scores on he tv at the bar or having to watch it on my phone.

I told her the number 1 thing for me was not during football season so maybe I'm the one crazy but football first.

 

[55wildcat]

If your gettin the cupcake free..YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY THE BAKERY!

 

[Bill Cosby]

Do it this June.

You'll have already put deposits down, and right around that time you'll be so fed up with the process that you'll talk about how you should have just eloped. But, by that time, you've sunk enough money into the wedding and enough people know about it, that you feel like you have to invite everyone to shut them up (and so they are obligated by societal norms bring gifts regardless of how poor the guest list is).

If you do it in June, you'll only have 3 months of ****** planning. If you do it far off in the future, you just have a lot more time do hate the process and everything involved with a wedding.

And, the sooner you do it, the sooner you stop being asked, "how's the wedding planning going."

The process is going to suck regardless.

 

[GhostVol]

Just keep this in mind. Our wedding cost us $11K and that included the honeymoon. My divorce cost me $179K. Notice the words 'our' and 'my'.

Before you get hitched, do yourself a favor and ask the lovely bride "Is there anything about me you wish you could change after we're married?" My now ex-wife waited 19 years to spring that surprise on me. Since I didn't change after we got married, we're now divorced. Good luck to you!

 

[Deeeefense]

Originally posted by bradyjames:

Originally posted by Deeeefense:
Purely and simply weddings are rip-offs. The average wedding now cost $26K when you add it all up. Another popular alternative is destination weddings.

Yeah, do that so the 26 obligated people that go pay the 26k instead.

===================================================

Sounds about right to me, as BlueRaider pointed out, weddings are about the guests, not about the couple. It's not like the guest won't be getting something for their money.

 

[UKStoops81]

ELOPE. Go get married in the Caribbean some place, then have a reception when you get home.

 

[UKStoops81]

ELOPE. Go get married in the Caribbean some place, then have a reception when you get home.

 

[funKYcat75]

If her parents aren't helping with their own daughter's wedding, then tell them they can't come to their granddaughter's either. That's what in-laws are for , I'm pretty sure. That and a little free babysitting.

I'm with you on the cake too. Eff that noise. Cake is overrated in every situation.

Good luck to you, for real though. Hope you picked a good one.

 

[Violent Cuts]

Originally posted by UKStoops81:
ELOPE. Go get married in the Caribbean some place, then have a reception when you get home.

That's exactly what we're doing. Getting married in May at an all-inclusive in Dominican Republic. Having a reception 3 weeks later in Cincinnati. ~$6k for the trip to Caribbean. ~$8k for the reception for about 150.

 

[KingOfBBN]

Originally posted by funKYcat75:
If her parents aren't helping with their own daughter's wedding, then tell them they can't come to their granddaughter's either. That's what in-laws are for , I'm pretty sure. That and a little free babysitting.

I'm with you on the cake too. Eff that noise. Cake is overrated in every situation.

Good luck to you, for real though. Hope you picked a good one.

Blasphemous. There is no situation where cake is ever overrated. That is literally, the only thing I give a crap about when it is my birthday or someone else's.

Our cakes were made by a little old lady who did an awesome job. She got us two..one for the wedding cake (the pretty one) and the joke groom's cake. I paid maximum of $250..MAYBE. There is no doubt there is someone your family or your wife's parents know that can make a damn good cake for a good price. Don't go to any of the bakeries that charge a ridiculous rate.

 

[KingOfBBN]

Originally posted by Deeeefense:

Originally posted by bradyjames:

Originally posted by Deeeefense:
Purely and simply weddings are rip-offs. The average wedding now cost $26K when you add it all up. Another popular alternative is destination weddings.

Yeah, do that so the 26 obligated people that go pay the 26k instead.

===================================================

Sounds about right to me, as BlueRaider pointed out, weddings are about the guests, not about the couple. It's not like the guest won't be getting something for their money.

That is absolutely ridiculous if that is indeed the average. My wife and I had a beautiful wedding at the Bodley Bullock House in Lexington..food, DJ, photographers, tent, dance floor, cake, etc all for $11k total. Luckily, her dad paid for a good chunk of it too as they should.

 

[funKYcat75]

Umm, false. You know, as an adult, you can go get a cake anytime you want? I'd rather have the S'mores bar, or Ice Cream fixin's bar (I'm sure there's a Pinterest term for that) or something else extravagant that I couldn't just whip up or buy down at the Kroger(s).

Cake is the meatloaf of desserts.

 

[KingOfBBN]

Originally posted by funKYcat75:
Umm, false. You know, as an adult, you can go get a cake anytime you want? I'd rather have the S'mores bar, or Ice Cream fixin's bar (I'm sure there's a Pinterest term for that) or something else extravagant that I couldn't just whip up or buy down at the Kroger(s).

Cake is the meatloaf of desserts.

Crazy talk. How many times as an adult male that doesn't weigh 300 pounds, can you go in and order an entire cake? Most restaurants I go to don't even offer cake as a dessert. It is always pie or some cookie/ice cream combo.

Cake is the messiah of desserts. I hate Smores but I'm with you on an ice cream bar though.

 

[funKYcat75]

At least we have found common ground.

 

[KingOfBBN]

Originally posted by funKYcat75:
At least we have found common ground.

If only the Middle East could solve their debates in such a way.

 

[KyCatFan1]

I guess we were the practical ones and with the help we got, we were able to do our wedding for practically nothing.

Location - My aunt had a nice property in Southern Indiana and we had an outdoor wedding there under an archway.

Equipment - My wife and I both worked at the same place and our work let us borrow tables and chairs from the break room to use for the reception. My aunt had some canopies that were setup over the tables.

Music - I made a CD with all the music on it and my mom's boyfriend and his friend (they were in a band years ago) played a song for us (Eric Clapton's You Look Wonderful Tonight).

Photographer - A guy who we worked with has a wife who is a photographer and she did the pictures for the cost of the film and developing of the pictures. My mom took care of that.

Food - My aunt had a pig roast at her house the weekend before and she saved a bunch of the pork and we used it to make sandwiches. We just bought some buns, chips, and sodas. It was BYOB if you wanted alcohol. Someone brought a couple cases I believe.

Cake - A friend of my wife's family made our cake. She drove in from Kansas and brought it with her.

Clothing - My aunt let my wife use her wedding dress (she used it a couple years before when she got remarried) and I just rented a tux. We had a best man and a bridesmaid. We just had them wear something nice. No tux or bridesmaid dress needed.

Preacher - Another friend of the family. She came down from Fort Wayne, IN to marry us. My wife's dad gave her a donation to her church for helping out.

Other - We made the decorations and all the flower arrangements (including the bouquet) ourselves using artificial flowers. All that was really left was stuff like plates, napkins, forks, etc.

Due to all the help we got, we were able to do our wedding for under $1,000. That included the rings, some nice glasses that were engraved with our names and wedding date, invitations (I made on my computer using cardstock paper, thank you cards, and anything else we needed that I can't think of right now.

I use to go to bingo with my wife to be, mom, aunt, and grandma and about a month or two before our wedding, I hit a coverall for $1,200 that paid for some of the little stuff that was left and the rest went to our vacation fund. It allowed us to do a lot more while on vacation than what was originally planned. I was lucky to have a lot of people volunteering to help and it made our wedding pretty special for a small investment. We've been married now going on 15 years.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[UKserialkiller]

OP- I can't add any more than all this great advice that has already been given to you.
I just hope marrying your cousin will save you some $$$ for your guests being 1 family. Use the extra cash for ya'lls honeymoon to Alabama. Good luck and I'm very happy for ya'll.

 

[Perrin75]

My wife and I specifically got married in October because of football season. We picked a week the Cats were on a bye week to avoid any issues with our guests. After the wedding, we have celebrated our Anniversary by visiting a different football stadium every year. We have made it to nearly every stadium in the SEC, Big 10 and the now-defunct Big East. It's allowed us to see parts of the country we probably wouldn't have visited otherwise, and it is something we really look forward to every year.

 

[JumperJack]

Go get married in the Caribbean. Come back and have a reception. Cut your costs and your stress. Post her often. Profit.

 

[UKGrad93]

KyCatFan - my wedding was similar to how yours was done. The whole thing, including her dress came in around $1500. And really, that was $1500 too much.

We just had hors-d'oeuvres & cake at the church after the wedding. I think I was in my 30s before I ever attended a wedding where a meal was served.

It jsut seems to me that the $10k or $25k that is spent on a wedding could go to some better causes:

college tuition
down payment on a house
debt
retirement

I've been married over 20 years and of the 150 or so people that were at our wedding, I'd say we are still in touch with

 

[KyCatFan1]

I think it is stupid to get in major debt starting your life out together. That is why we went simple with ours and it turned out great to us. If you have the money already saved up or have others that will foot the bill then fine go for it. I prefer to use money like that for getting a place to live, new furniture, a reliable car, etc.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[KYlady_rivals376851]

If June wedding, don't have it at the beginning because of Memorial Day vacationers or at the end because of July 4th and it is HOT. Wish we'd picked October.

If I had it over, I would have had a small simple wedding with family and then a reception with dancing and a buffet offsite. Being Baptist, the church wouldn't allow the dancing part.

Or elope and have a party/reception afterwards which would not have worked for my mother since I am the only daughter and since my parents were paying, I did the small budget church wedding with cake and punch reception.

 

[maverick1_rivals376538]

Seriously OP, do NOT get married. Run like hell.