Depression

[UK-Fan78]

I had someone I knew commit suicide a couple weeks ago because she felt like she had no one to talk to. This seems to be a common thing amongst those with depression and anxiety. I know because I have been there. I’ve contemplated it many times over in my life. I’ve battled it since my teen years and it will still sneak up on me from time to time. Today is one of those days for an example. I’m not looking for attention, I just know they are others out there right now that feel the same way.

Let’s talk, let’s discuss, let’s help each other overcome this! We as adults need to be better and do better because we never know what someone is struggling with.

 

[WildcatFan1982]

Therapy helps. Don’t be ashamed because you’d be amazed at the people you know that are effected as well. Don’t stop taking meds unless a doctor tells you to.

And quitting alcohol has done wonders for me. But I was drinking way too much.

 

[CaptainBoogerBuns]

Therapy and medication (the right mix) is key imo. Clinical depression is neurological-which is as real as a broken leg. It needs to be treated. Imagine how productive someone can be if properly treated.

I’m also a Christian (****** one at that), but if some church goer has “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” or “Get a better relationship with God0 as the antidote for clinical depression—they can go get painfully pumped.

 

[WildcatFan1982]

I’m also a Christian (****** one at that), but if some church goer has “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” or “Get a better relationship with God0 as the antidote for clinical depression—they can go get painfully pumped.

Yes. I was having trouble about 15 years ago that was major and my insurance didn't cover therapy and I was broke as can be. Southland Christian Church paid for me to go to therapy, just about no questions asked. When I went and spoke to my leader he encouraged me to pray, but he also said to make sure and see a psychiatrist and therapist. And he followed up with me constantly, always making sure I'm ok and again, encouraging me to pray, but also to make sure I don't miss appointments and don't skip dosages

 

[UK-Fan78]

Therapy helps. Don’t be ashamed because you’d be amazed at the people you know that are effected as well. Don’t stop taking meds unless a doctor tells you to.

And quitting alcohol has done wonders for me. But I was drinking way too much.

I tried to get help about 15 years ago and was told I hadn’t suffered anything traumatic enough to need medicated or therapy. It caused me to fall further into depression because no one ever listened to me. I was a normal looking person, dressed well, and spoke well so they blew me off.

 

[WildcatFan1982]

I tried to get help about 15 years ago and was told I hadn’t suffered anything traumatic enough to need medicated or therapy. It caused me to fall further into depression because no one ever listened to me. I was a normal looking person, dressed well, and spoke well so they blew me off.

Thats nonsense and I hope you never gave the clinic you went to a second thought.

 

[UK-Fan78]

Therapy and medication (the right mix) is key imo. Clinical depression is neurological-which is as real as a broken leg. It needs to be treated. Imagine how productive someone can be if properly treated.

I’m also a Christian (****** one at that), but if some church goer has “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” or “Get a better relationship with God0 as the antidote for clinical depression—they can go get painfully pumped.

There’s no perfect Christian, we all struggle brother.

I just have never found a doctor that took me serious when I’ve told them about my struggles. They think everyone is out to get drugs to sell or take irresponsibly.

 

[UK-Fan78]

Thats nonsense and I hope you never gave the clinic you went to a second thought.

I did not. I never went back to them at all.

To be honest, I started smoking cannabis, while it helps, it’s not enough sometimes.

 

[ZenCatFan73]

Therapy and medication (the right mix) is key imo. Clinical depression is neurological-which is as real as a broken leg. It needs to be treated. Imagine how productive someone can be if properly treated.

I’m also a Christian (****** one at that), but if some church goer has “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” or “Get a better relationship with God0 as the antidote for clinical depression—they can go get painfully pumped.

Agree with this. The right combination of medicine and therapy is the way to go. You can always talk to someone, even if it is here on the Paddock. Hang in there!

 

[MegaBlue05]

Depression has touched my family in a lot of ways. Lost an uncle to suicide in his early 50s and he was the most financially successful and seemingly outwardly happy person of all my aunts and uncles. Other relatives and friends turned to substance abuse for self medication. I lost a close friend to an intentional OD on booze and painkillers a few years ago, according to the note he left for his family.

My wife has struggled with major depressive disorder for the better part of 20 years, including two unsuccessful suicide attempts, one of which required inpatient hospitalization and an ambulance ride.

When she was young, she did everything you’re not supposed to do: Didn’t always take her meds (I feel good today), kept drinking (A few drinks won’t hurt), refused to attend therapy (my trauma is no one else’s business). She struggled mightily for years.

A couple years ago, I got a new job with excellent benefits that included mental health care that’s almost free. We had her evaluated by a specialist. They diagnosed her condition more correctly, put her on the right combination of meds, got her enrolled in therapy with a therapist she trusts. I’m happy to say it’s made a world of difference and she hasn’t thought of self harm in over a year.

My advice to all MEN is stop stigmatizing mental illness. You’re not weak if you seek help. You’re not a tough guy if you try to fight through mental illness untreated. (The correct term for that is dumbass).

Brain disorders are every bit as real as organ disorders. It’s OK to not be OK. Encourage those who struggle that better days are ahead. Do not tell someone to “snap out of it” or “suck it up.” Doesn’t help. I, regrettably, know from my own stupid mouth. I used to say this kind of stuff to my wife because of being young and ignorant. It isn’t that simple.

 

[UK-Fan78]

Depression has touched my family in a lot of ways. Lost an uncle to suicide in his early 50s and he was the most financially successful and seemingly outwardly happy person of all my aunts and uncles. Other relatives and friends turned to substance abuse for self medication. I lost a close friend to an intentional OD on booze and painkillers a few years ago, according to the note he left for his family.

My wife has struggled with major depressive disorder for the better part of 20 years, including two unsuccessful suicide attempts, one of which required inpatient hospitalization and an ambulance ride.

When she was young, she did everything you’re not supposed to do: Didn’t always take her meds (I feel good today), kept drinking (A few drinks won’t hurt), refused to attend therapy (my trauma is no one else’s business). She struggled mightily for years.

A couple years ago, I got a new job with excellent benefits that included mental health care that’s almost free. We had her evaluated by a specialist. They diagnosed her condition more correctly, put her on the right combination of meds, got her enrolled in therapy with a therapist she trusts. I’m happy to say it’s made a world of difference and she hasn’t thought of self harm in over a year.

My advice to all MEN is stop stigmatizing mental illness. You’re not weak if you seek help. You’re not a tough guy if you try to fight through mental illness untreated. (The correct term for that is dumbass).

Brain disorders are every bit as real as organ disorders. It’s OK to not be OK. Encourage those who struggle that better days are ahead. Do not tell someone to “snap out of it” or “suck it up.” Doesn’t help. I, regrettably, know from my own stupid mouth. I used to say this kind of stuff to my wife because of being young and ignorant. It isn’t that simple.

I agree 100%!

I also agree I’m that dumba** you’re referring to. I don’t think I’m tough tho, it’s just no one has ever took me serious, even my wife and family. I will say, my wife is starting to understand more and more.

I will also add, I’m pretty sure I have Asperger’s that was never treated or diagnosed.

 

[vhcat70]

This thread is a revelation. Thanks. I don't think I've ever thought these things & it's all new.

 

[bbncal02]

Yes. I was having trouble about 15 years ago that was major and my insurance didn't cover therapy and I was broke as can be. Southland Christian Church paid for me to go to therapy, just about no questions asked. When I went and spoke to my leader he encouraged me to pray, but he also said to make sure and see a psychiatrist and therapist. And he followed up with me constantly, always making sure I'm ok and again, encouraging me to pray, but also to make sure I don't miss appointments and don't skip dosages

That's awesome man.

I've sadly had many of our Christian brothers and sisters give the "but we should be happy; we're saved" spiel or "why should you ever be sad in God?" Which is true, but man, even Jesus got worried and scared before His arrest and crucifixition, not only for His physical body but for his friends and those He cared for. I'm glad your pastor listened and not only encourage for you to pray, but also get help.

 

[bbncal02]

Depression has touched my family in a lot of ways. Lost an uncle to suicide in his early 50s and he was the most financially successful and seemingly outwardly happy person of all my aunts and uncles. Other relatives and friends turned to substance abuse for self medication. I lost a close friend to an intentional OD on booze and painkillers a few years ago, according to the note he left for his family.

My wife has struggled with major depressive disorder for the better part of 20 years, including two unsuccessful suicide attempts, one of which required inpatient hospitalization and an ambulance ride.

When she was young, she did everything you’re not supposed to do: Didn’t always take her meds (I feel good today), kept drinking (A few drinks won’t hurt), refused to attend therapy (my trauma is no one else’s business). She struggled mightily for years.

A couple years ago, I got a new job with excellent benefits that included mental health care that’s almost free. We had her evaluated by a specialist. They diagnosed her condition more correctly, put her on the right combination of meds, got her enrolled in therapy with a therapist she trusts. I’m happy to say it’s made a world of difference and she hasn’t thought of self harm in over a year.

My advice to all MEN is stop stigmatizing mental illness. You’re not weak if you seek help. You’re not a tough guy if you try to fight through mental illness untreated. (The correct term for that is dumbass).

Brain disorders are every bit as real as organ disorders. It’s OK to not be OK. Encourage those who struggle that better days are ahead. Do not tell someone to “snap out of it” or “suck it up.” Doesn’t help. I, regrettably, know from my own stupid mouth. I used to say this kind of stuff to my wife because of being young and ignorant. It isn’t that simple.

Hell, your own brain can do it, especially when coupled with things like ADHD.

My ADHD can be crippling at times. And I'm a dumbass, I internalize it all too often. I'm high functioning so often my adhd brain with say "Suck it up" and then 10 minutes later proceed to go, "Lol, I was wrong. Let's use some Executive Dysfunction to deal with everything"

I'm sorry about your uncle.

 

[roguemocha]

Basically stopped drinking, will have light beers on occasion.

Got on TRT, Twas a godsend for sleep, mood and depression.

Started microdosing psilocybin 3-5x/week, just amazing I have to say.

And of course exercise! I lift 6-7 days a week and it’s the best therapy you can get. Exercise is the only proven treatment that works on every single person and has been shown to be as effective if not more effective than any medication.

Obviously diet too. The better you eat and exercise the better you will feel.

 

[bbncal02]

This thread is a revelation. Thanks. I don't think I've ever thought these things & it's all new.

Remember your brain lies to you sometimes. And depression sure as crap does.

It' OK to not be OK. And it's ok to talk about it.

 

[K86]

I struggled with it for years until I was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance. Once I got on the meds to correct this it was like a light came on in my life. I too am a Christian but had some very self destructive thoughts.

Anyone that hasn’t gone through depression has no clue about what it can do. To them it’s just “you’re going through a bad time”.

To anyone that is enduring this, please have blood work done to check for medically caused depression. Once it’s diagnosed it’s an easy and quick turn around.

 

[WildcatFan1982]

Part of the issue is that people use some words incorrectly. People say they're depressed when they're sad. So when someone with clinical depression says something hearing "Oh I get depressed from time to time too" doesn't help

Anxiety is not the same as being shy.

When I was in college I'd hear so many "Lol I'm such an alcoholic" and no, you're just a drunk college kid.

 

[WeWant9_rivals]

I have had a little bit of anxiety most of my life, but it was never anything really substantial that got in the way. Then in Oct of 2020 I woke up in the middle of the night thinking I was about to have a heart attack and die (I was 32 at the time). Scariest thing I’ve probably had, dr told me I just had an anxiety attack.

Then I had various life events happen that ramped that anxiety up a couple notches and would be having attacks frequently. It was miserable. Life eventually settled down, but I would still have those feelings and sensations.

This went on for awhile, but at the start of this year I’ve really worked on calming myself down. I found that reading about anxiety was a big help, learning how and why your body/mind does what it does during those times really put it in perspective. I’ve also started daily meditation and breathing exercises. Making lifestyle changes isn’t easy, but I do think it is needed to try and overcome it.

I still have it pop up on me, but I’ve found it much more manageable these days. It sucks, but luckily it is getting more attention these days and there is more help out there for folks.

Stay strong, friends.

 

[CaptainBoogerBuns]

There’s no perfect Christian, we all struggle brother.

I just have never found a doctor that took me serious when I’ve told them about my struggles. They think everyone is out to get drugs to sell or take irresponsibly.

If Paul was the chief of sinners—I’m the Assistant to the Chief!!

 

[WildcatfaninOhio]

If anyone needs immediate counseling, or just urgently would like to talk with a professional, I would suggest the online service BetterHelp

My daughter is a licensed counselor with a Masters in psychology, and has been working for them for quite a while. She’s had patients that she’s talked with just once, and others she talks with once a week on average for many months. She’s told me of many success stories (without specific details, of course).

 

[DreadLox]

Get the right meds. All Depression is not the same.
Get a therapist who you feel comfortable with. If you don't connect emotionally with the person you're talking to, nothing will happen.
Try to find someone who uses Rational Behavior Therapy or Cognitive Behavior Therapy.
Take it seriously. By that I mean that people have beaten Depression before. You can, too. But don't be flip and don't despair. Seriously. You only get the one life.

Not necessary but think over the people who have had it terrible but who have gotten on with life. Their successes aren't corny Hallmark movies or remote and unobtainable.

 

[DreadLox]

Basically stopped drinking, will have light beers on occasion.

Got on TRT, Twas a godsend for sleep, mood and depression.

Started microdosing psilocybin 3-5x/week, just amazing I have to say.

And of course exercise! I lift 6-7 days a week and it’s the best therapy you can get. Exercise is the only proven treatment that works on every single person and has been shown to be as effective if not more effective than any medication.

Obviously diet too. The better you eat and exercise the better you will feel.

Rarely drink. Don't smoke. I haven't even seen an illegal drug in almost 50 years. But I would love it if psilocybin were legal. It has a fairly surprising reputation for helping people. Of course, I might have just read an enthusiasts blather. But it sounds good, anyway.

 

[AIChatGPT]

I’m not saying that all therapy is a waste of time but I am saying that many of the worst and most dysfunctional people I’ve ever met have been going to therapy for years and there is no indication that it’s done them any actual good whatsoever.

Part of the problem is that many therapists and psychologists have a fundamentally flawed view of humanity and what constitutes good and healthy thinking and behavior. They end up making every problem worse because they don’t understand what the real problems even are.

 

[germuk]

I have been a therapist for a little over four years now and work in community mental health.

You guys hit the nail on the head with a lot of things. Therapy and medication together has the best results broadly speaking. That doesn't mean that therapy or medication is right for everyone, and often times it unfortunately requires some trial and error to get it right.

I thought before I started that there would not be many men who wanted to talk to a therapist who grew up in Eastern Kentucky, but I was wrong. Thankfully, mental health has been destigmatized a great deal in the last several years although there is still progress to be made there.

I have dealt with people from all ages and walks of life with varying issues. Nobody is immune to struggling. Some have chronic issues and others are just going through a particularly stressful time. It doesn't matter how big or small you think your problems are, you need to talk about them with someone, whether that's a therapist, your spouse, your pastor, just whoever will listen. Bottling up those feelings only leads to it coming out one way or another, and it often isn't good.

I have seen how suicide affects family members and had a cousin commit suicide at a very early age. Someone has to be in a really dark place to go through with it. We should all try to be as supportive and helpful to others as we can. You never know what someone is truly going through.

 

[bbncal02]

I have had a little bit of anxiety most of my life, but it was never anything really substantial that got in the way. Then in Oct of 2020 I woke up in the middle of the night thinking I was about to have a heart attack and die (I was 32 at the time). Scariest thing I’ve probably had, dr told me I just had an anxiety attack.

Then I had various life events happen that ramped that anxiety up a couple notches and would be having attacks frequently. It was miserable. Life eventually settled down, but I would still have those feelings and sensations.

This went on for awhile, but at the start of this year I’ve really worked on calming myself down. I found that reading about anxiety was a big help, learning how and why your body/mind does what it does during those times really put it in perspective. I’ve also started daily meditation and breathing exercises. Making lifestyle changes isn’t easy, but I do think it is needed to try and overcome it.

I still have it pop up on me, but I’ve found it much more manageable these days. It sucks, but luckily it is getting more attention these days and there is more help out there for folks.

Stay strong, friends.

Never had anxiety in my life until I lost my mom. And then it really ramped up after I lost my dog. It sucks and I know exactly what you mean by thinking you're going to die. Heck, even when you know about it, it sometimes pokes you on the shoulder and punches you square in the face. And my GOODNESS, do they just wear you out when they're done. The worst one I ever had made me feel like crap for two days.

Mine is getting better too, but sometimes external stuff will kick it back up (like my car stuff). It sucks.

 

[AIChatGPT]

The best advice anyone can give you for 90 percent of the problems you bring to a therapist is simply this: get over yourself and stop whining. But most therapists won’t say that because their income depends on you not getting over yourself.

 

[WildcatfaninOhio]

The best advice anyone can give you for 90 percent of the problems you bring to a therapist is simply this: get over yourself and stop whining. But most therapists won’t say that because their income depends on you not getting over yourself.

Could not possibly disagree more strongly! You, sir, are quite wrong about this.

 

[AIChatGPT]

The very fact that so many people “need” to be in therapy for years is a pretty good indication that a lot of therapy is ********. If it’s helping then you shouldn’t need to keep going back forever.

 

[WildcatfaninOhio]

The very fact that so many people “need” to be in therapy for years is a pretty good indication that a lot of therapy is ********. If it’s helping then you shouldn’t need to keep going back forever.

You are entitled to your opinion. But it is an uninformed opinion. This discussion is not about a temporary state of sadness. This discussion is about a serious medical condition. And when someone is deep in depression, therapy and meds can keep them in a functional state, so they can continue to work, Interact with family and friends, and keep their proverbial **** together.

 

[Laparkafan]

The very fact that so many people “need” to be in therapy for years is a pretty good indication that a lot of therapy is ********. If it’s helping then you shouldn’t need to keep going back forever.

Tony Soprano would like a word with you!

 

[AIChatGPT]

You are entitled to your opinion. But it is an uninformed opinion. This discussion is not about a temporary state of sadness. This discussion is about a serious medical condition. And when someone is deep in depression, therapy and meds can keep them in a functional state, so they can continue to work, Interact with family and friends, and keep their proverbial **** together.

It is often not good to share your most private thoughts with someone who is only listening because you pay them. Better to have healthy relationships with people who actually care about you and aren’t paid by the hour to listen.

 

[roguemocha]

^ it’s not about what’s ideal brother. Some people DON’T have anyone around or to talk to, or they’re so far into their depression they don’t want to or won’t talk to anyone.

I feel you’re looking at it from just your experience or something. It’s not always a slap in the face and a pull yourself up and with whining. That’s not how a medical condition works, like at all.

Or you’re just trying to push buttons which this isn’t really the thread for that.

Rarely drink. Don't smoke. I haven't even seen an illegal drug in almost 50 years. But I would love it if psilocybin were legal. It has a fairly surprising reputation for helping people. Of course, I might have just read an enthusiasts blather. But it sounds good, anyway.

.5mg/day and I honestly don’t even think about alcohol. It’s amazing, I’m going to continue for probably another 4 months putting me around six and then stop.

Fingers crossed my brain has a pretty hard reset by then as it feels like it already has.

I think the Fed’s are OPENLY testing psilocybin for medical benefits which is a good sign and some states they’re legal already.

 

[Laparkafan]

^ it’s not about what’s ideal brother. Some people DON’T have anyone around or to talk to, or they’re so far into their depression they don’t want to or won’t talk to anyone.

I feel you’re looking at it from just your experience or something. It’s not always a slap in the face and a pull yourself up and with whining. That’s not how a medical condition works, like at all.

Or you’re just trying to push buttons which this isn’t really the thread for that.


.5mg/day and I honestly don’t even think about alcohol. It’s amazing, I’m going to continue for probably another 4 months putting me around six and then stop.

Fingers crossed my brain has a pretty hard reset by then as it feels like it already has.

I think the Fed’s are OPENLY testing psilocybin for medical benefits which is a good sign and some states they’re legal already.

I do agree that exercise definitely plays a big role in helping with stress/anxiety/depression - some people need more than just that but it definitely helps.

 

[WildcatfaninOhio]

It is often not good to share your most private thoughts with someone who is only listening because you pay them. Better to have healthy relationships with people who actually care about you and aren’t paid by the hour to listen.

When you experience a physical ailment, you go a highly trained medical doctor, right? You explain your symptoms? They may run a test or two, give you a diagnosis, and recommend a course of treatment so that your physical health may improve.

With a mental condition it works quite similarly. Not sure why you can’t grasp this concept and continue to brush this off. Please spend a little time researching depression. It seems you have a complete misunderstanding about it.

 

[chroix]

Therapy can be as fast or slow of a process as the patient makes it. Breakthrough moments require brutal honesty with yourself and your therapist. How long it takes to get there is entirely up to the patient. Analyzing the role we play in our own problems is never easy. For most people it is easier to blame an external source than to look at why most of our issues are internal. Good luck to everyone that is suffering through depression. I hope you find comfort.

 

[MegaBlue05]

I agree 100%!

I also agree I’m that dumba** you’re referring to. I don’t think I’m tough tho, it’s just no one has ever took me serious, even my wife and family. I will say, my wife is starting to understand more and more.

I will also add, I’m pretty sure I have Asperger’s that was never treated or diagnosed.

I agree 100%!

I also agree I’m that dumba** you’re referring to. I don’t think I’m tough tho, it’s just no one has ever took me serious, even my wife and family. I will say, my wife is starting to understand more and more.

I will also add, I’m pretty sure I have Asperger’s that was never treated or diagnosed.

Acknowledging there’s an issue is the hardest part. I’m guessing your hesitation to seek treatment is probably generational. I’m in my early 40s and was raised by the generation of men who thought men shouldn’t discus their feelings and should “tough out” any ailment. Treatment and therapy is for women, they thought.

I can also relate to how no one takes you seriously. I was the same way with my wife’s depression for a long time. I used to think she was overly dramatic, lazy and unmotivated and would accuse her of such things. One of her doctors ripped me a new ******* over a comment I made at an appointment long ago. He said, “Would you tell someone with a broken leg to “get over it”; Would you tell someone with a brain tumor to suck it up?” and went on to explain mental illnesses are just as debilitating as physical ailments.

I can attest that mental illness is hard to live with for the person affected and their loved ones. I watched the person I love most lose more than 10 jobs because of her condition, with each one crushing her self esteem more and more. I saw her sleep 20 hours a day for weeks on end. I saw her subsist on Sprite and saltines for weeks at a time. I saw her cry and beg me to help her die. It ain’t pretty and is very much a real thing that won’t simply “go away”

I wish you the best with your struggles and truly hope you find inner peace and comfort.

 

[jameslee32]

Shrooms therapy gaining traction around the country.

https://theweek.com/drugs/1024449/the-state-of-psychedelic-therapy-in-the-us

 

[UK-Fan78]

Shrooms therapy gaining traction around the country.

https://theweek.com/drugs/1024449/the-state-of-psychedelic-therapy-in-the-us

I’ve saw some stuff about it but to be honest, I know zero about it.

 

[roguemocha]

I’ve saw some stuff about it but to be honest, I know zero about it.

Not sure if you saw my post but I’ve been micro dosing for a couple few months now 0.5mg/day/3-5x Days/week and have loved it!

Haven’t drank almost at all besides 9 light beers the entire time. No liquor or wine. It’s been amazing. Be happy to answer any questions you may have.