Oh wow, I'm glad someone started this topic as I've been planning this out for months.
First, I've got a bottle of Buffalo Trace I'll be cracking open a couple of hours before tip-off. I intend to get nice and saucy with a pinch of the nasty if you known what I mean. Once I'm feeling the right amount of frisky and the unbearable, unrelenting shame hasn't set in yet, I'll be slipping into a literal white wedding dress. To go along with the dress, I've also designed a headband with a strap that will be holding a set of truck nuts/hitch balls that are painted blue that will be dangling right in front of my face while I'm adorned in all white for my special day. Then, a little bit before tip-off, a preacher I've hired will be there to conduct an actual wedding ceremony. I've invited everyone in the neighborhood to come, even that dirtbag Rod down the street who is a U of L fan. Ugh, I hate that turd!!! During the ceremony, the preacher will say "...and now I pronounce you Mrs. Mark Pope'sBigBlueBalls" and then I'll pull down the truck nuts and give 'em a big wet kiss and the crowd will applaud wildly. Many tears will be shed.
Next, comes the extra-curricular activities. In my back yard I've set up a slide that leads into a literal ball pit the type that you'd used to see at McDonald's back in the day. It will have hundreds of blue rubber balls dedicated to Coach Marky Mark. As everyone gathers around, I'll climb to the top of the slide, strip to the nude, and then slide down into the ball pit. The game will be broadcasting from a projector in my back yard onto the side of my house, and I plan on spending the next two hours of the game writhing around in the ball pit with the rest of my Buffalo Trace and soaking in Pope's first win. Just a fun way to celebrate the new era. Go Cats!
