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Drug Commercial Breakdown - Humira

funKYcat75

funKYcat75

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Apr 10, 2008
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Humira is an injection that treats damn near everything you could have wrong with you, but today it’s for people who **** themselves a lot, i.e. Crohn’s Disease or Colitis.

We open with the World’s Most Diverse Band and their lead singer who is having a bit of a tum tum problem. Hipster guitarist and Vague Asian bassist are lost in the music, but Token the Drummer knows something is up. The smell in their extremely spacious studio is soon to be overwhelming.

 
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funKYcat75

funKYcat75

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Vague Asian and Hipster Guitarist are now concerned. They want more than anything to get with her, but they are worried that the constant pooping will interfere with their Devil’s Three Way. Token is back to just having regular black guy thoughts.

 
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funKYcat75

funKYcat75

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Token and VagAsian exchange a glance that says, “Dude. She is so far out of your league, but yeah, I’m worried too.” The lead singer is missing and the gig is due to start any minute now. Keyboard ***** tells them all to chill because she know the dumping diva will show up eventually.

 
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funKYcat75

funKYcat75

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Hipster guitarist sneaks a quick glance at the singer’s ***. He knows he shouldn’t but he can’t help himself. He’ll rectify it by cutting a check to Planned Parenthood with the memo reading, “Sorry about the toxic masculinity.” Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh is in its final bars as the WMDB wraps up the gig.

 
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funKYcat75

funKYcat75

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The show is over, but there’s no time for an encore. You never know when she’ll have to take another crap, so it’s back on the road. Thanks to the Andy Frain Junior Cadets, the band is safe from anyone who might wish to abscond with the lead gal (or Keyboard ***** I guess, but who are we kidding?)

 
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funKYcat75

funKYcat75

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The show ended mere seconds ago, but the reviews are in. The show was hailed as ‘adequate’ and ‘I’m sure that was music’. Their promoter has turned the raves into a special night time performance at Ye Olde Abandoned Movie Theatre. The band could not be happier. Thank you, Humira, for everything.

 
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funKYcat75

funKYcat75

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32,417
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It’s soundcheck time. Another few hit of Humira and she’s ready to lead the WMDB to semi stardom. In passing, she lightly touches Vague Asian’s back. While that moment will go directly into VagAsian’s spank bank, it will undoubtedly lead to Hipster guitarist to off himself in the hotel room later tonight.

 
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funKYcat75

funKYcat75

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hipster guitarist leans in for a verse of aaaaaaaaaaaahhh and also to breathe in her essence one last time. Keyboard ***** is not interested in many of this. She didn’t go to Berea College to play second fiddle to Lady Colitis.

 
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funKYcat75

funKYcat75

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The show ends and the standing room only crowd gives the WMDB a standing ovation. Lead singer chick goes all Gwen Stafani on the band and leaves them in the background. They smile and applaud through the pain. Before the night ends, both Vague Asian and Hipster Guitarist will choke themselves with a belt, but for completely different reasons and with completely different results. Keyboard ***** will leave the band tomorrow despite their success and open an organic free-range duck farm. Token is about done with these damn white people and heads back home. Lead singer chick injects a few more doses of Humira and makes an appointment to get her butthole sewed back together.

 
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Ahnan E. Muss

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If I remember right, the girl who plays the singer in this commercial actually is a singer in a band. And apparently she CAN sing more than just aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, at least in her real band.
 
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theoledog

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good job funkycat75... i asked my doctor a few years ago about the slew of medications being aired on TV and if they had an effect... he said it didn’t make any difference if it was a drug or procedure method (robotic surgery) if it was on TV people would ask for it specifically... mind control/it works.
 
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DSmith21

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Do they explain how the woman can afford a medicine that costs $5,800? Turning tricks might be difficult to attract repeat business if she is pooping herself randomly.
 
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Rebelfreedomeagle

Rebelfreedomeagle

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My favorites are the diabeetus drug commercials that have to casually throw in that they may cause necrotizing fasciitis of the perineum. That's an interesting Google search.
 
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Kooky Kats_anon

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funKYcat75 said:
The show ended mere seconds ago, but the reviews are in. The show was hailed as ‘adequate’ and ‘I’m sure that was music’. Their promoter has turned the raves into a special night time performance at Ye Olde Abandoned Movie Theatre. The band could not be happier. Thank you, Humira, for everything.

Click to expand...
Just saw this commercial for first time...

I must say, the tour bus john (seen above) could spawn some dark lyrics for the band’s upcoming Brown Album.
 
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