Dumb Burns

[Beatle Bum]

A recent stupid post reminded me of all the dumb burns and cutdowns we would say as kids on the playground and schoolyard.

Without directing them toward other people here, what are the things you and your friends used to say when verbally sparring?

For example:

“I would have been your daddy, but the dog beat me over the fence.”

 

[BlueRaider22]

"Yo momma....."

 

[Beatle Bum]

"Yo momma....."

Wears army boots.

 

[BlueRaider22]

"I know you are, but what am I?"

 

[chroix]

"I know you are, but what am I?"

A timeless classic. How many bloody noses were a result of this statement?

 

[Beatle Bum]

A timeless classic. How many bloody noses were a result of this statement?

The best way to break your fingers is to punch you in the nose!

 

[BlueRaider22]

Attacking intelligence....



"You're dumber than a box of hammers....."

"You're not the sharpest knife in the drawer....."

"You're more dense than concrete...."

 

[LineSkiCat14]

During the summer when the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest was getting big, one of my buddies, off the cuff, told another friend that his "mom eats more wieners than Kobayashi".

That one still kills me.

 

[Ryan Lemonds Hair]

This should end well.

 

[mdlUK.1]

You’re so ugly, you could look a bulldog square in the *** and melt the wrinkles off his face.

You’re so stupid, if they magnified your brain a million times and stuck it up a gnats ***, it’d look like a BB rolling down the middle of a four lane highway,

 

[thabigbluenation]

Deez.....

 

[funKYcat75]

Let’s just say we’d all be jailed for hate crimes.

 

[H. Lecter]

Did you ever find that bucket?
What bucket?
The one your mom sat on when she sucked my d***

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Scoring a TD in sandlot tackle football in my hood usually produced some version of the following (and this is the tamest version)...

“Touchdown City...your team is ******!!!”

 

[TortElvisII]

Your mom came in the wrong window last night but my dog says thank you.

 

[Glenn's Take]

I triple dog dare you!!!


Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette.

 

[Ron Mehico]

I burned the top of my left hand like a dipshit getting a pizza out of the oven for the kids a couple weeks ago and it hurt like hell. They complained the whole time that I was making them eat freaking pizza too because they’re ******* toddlers

 

[tallkat70]

The major on MASH was a dumb burns

 

[Glenn's Take]

The major on MASH was a dumb burns

Ferret face.

 

[TortElvisII]

I burned the top of my left hand like a dipshit getting a pizza out of the oven for the kids a couple weeks ago and it hurt like hell. They complained the whole time that I was making them eat freaking pizza too because they’re ******* toddlers

I always look into a hot oven thinking I can remove that without gloves. I'm usually wrong.

 

[kyboy1998_rivals34276]

My dad once told me, “Boy you have to be the dumbest son of a ***** that ever **** ‘tween feet”

May not be a good burn…I remembered it so maybe?

 

[ukalum1988]

“You think you’re hot snot on a silver platter, but you’re just a cold booger on a paper plate.”

 

[thabigbluenation]

Best part of you ran down your momma's leg

 

[Beatle Bum]

Best part of you ran down your momma's leg

Definitely one that was said when I was a kid.

 

[Beatle Bum]

RogPotato just reminded me of the “takes one to know one” burn!!

 

[vhcat70]

The best way to break your fingers is to punch you in the nose!

Kid next door broke his hand punching brother in the head. Hilarious!