Dumb or Just Flat-out Bad Song Lyrics

[Ahnan E. Muss]

I was thinking of songs with especially dumb or bad lyrics. (Edit: I mean songs that are otherwise pretty good or bands that are otherwise pretty good.)

1. Guns N' Roses, "Sweet Child O' Mine."

She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories

Reminds him of memories? Ah yes, I remember that time I remembered something from childhood. What a great memory that memory is.

2. Van Halen (Van Hagar), "Why Can't This Be Love?"

Only time will tell if we stand the test of time.

Ya think?

3. Pearl Jam, "Jeremy."

Gnashed his teeth and bit the recess lady's breast

No wonder why he did what he did. Apparently he had rabies.


What others come to mind?

 

[buckethead1978]

Hip hop, marmalade, spick-and-span
Met you one summer and it all began
You're the best girl that I ever did see
The great Larry Bird, Jersey 33
When you take a sip, you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle 'cause I can't speak, baby
Somethin' in your eyes really drove me crazy
Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer, then went back home
Macaulay Culkin was in Home Alone
Fell deep in love, but now we ain't speakin'
Michael J. Fox was Alex P. Keaton
When I met you, I said my name is Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie & Fitch

 

[UK 82]

America's Horse With No Name. First of all how hard is it to name a damn horse. And then there's this:

"There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings"

Yeah no kiddin'. You're in a desert.

 

[downw/ball-lineD]

This game starts and ends with "watermelon Sugar". Quite possibly the dumbest dam* song in the history of songs. I cringe every time I hear it. Absolutely awful.

 

[Ahnan E. Muss]

I was thinking more along the lines of bad lyrics in songs that are otherwise good or by bands that generally do better.

 

[Ahnan E. Muss]

Hip hop, marmalade, spick-and-span
Met you one summer and it all began
You're the best girl that I ever did see
The great Larry Bird, Jersey 33
When you take a sip, you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle 'cause I can't speak, baby
Somethin' in your eyes really drove me crazy
Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer, then went back home
Macaulay Culkin was in Home Alone
Fell deep in love, but now we ain't speakin'
Michael J. Fox was Alex P. Keaton
When I met you, I said my name is Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie & Fitch

Those are so bad that they're almost good, in a comical way.

 

[funKYcat75]

“Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.”

 

[blubo]

https://www.metrolyrics.com/surfin-bird-bird-is-the-word-lyrics-family-guy.html

 

[gamecockcat]

Steve Miller Band:
Some people call me the space cowboy
Yeah
Some call me the gangster of love
Some people call me Maurice
'Cause I speak of the pompatus of love

Stupid lyrics made worse by using a word that isn't really a word. Is he Dr. Seuss or something?

 

[WildcatfaninOhio]

Load up on guns, bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over-bored and self-assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
Yeah, hey
I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
Yeah, hey
And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, was hard to find
Oh well, whatever, never mind
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial, a denial
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial

 

[starchief]

Load up on guns, bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over-bored and self-assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
Yeah, hey
I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
Yeah, hey
And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, was hard to find
Oh well, whatever, never mind
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial, a denial
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial

It's a catchy little tune ... but can you dance to it?

 

[SmedMoley]

Come my lady
Come-come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar baby
Come my lady
Come-come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar baby
Such a sexy, sexy pretty little thing
Fierce nipple pierce, you got me sprung with your tongue ring
And I ain't gonna lie 'cause your loving gets me high
So to keep you by my side, there's nothing that I won't try
Butterflies in her eyes and the looks to kill
Time is passing, I'm asking could this be real?
'Cause I can't sleep, I can't hold still
The only thing I really know is she got sex appeal
I can feel, too much is never enough
You're always there to lift me up
When these times get rough, I was lost, now I'm found
Ever since you've been around
You're the women that I want
So yo, I'm putting it down
Come my lady, come-come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar baby
Come my lady, you're my pretty baby
I'll make your legs shake
You make me go crazy
Come my lady, come-come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar baby
Come my lady, you're my pretty baby
I'll make your legs shake
You make me go crazy
I don't deserve you unless it's some kind of hidden message
To show me life is precious
Then I guess it's true
But to tell truth, I really never knew
'Til I met you, see, I was lost and confused
Twisted and used up
Knew a better life existed but thought that I missed it
My lifestyle's wild, I was living like a wild child
Trapped on a short leash, paroled in police files
So yo, what's happening now?
I see the sun breaking down into dark clouds
And a vision of you standing out in a crowd, so
Come my lady, come-come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar baby
Come my lady, you're my pretty baby
I'll make your legs shake
You make me go crazy
Come my lady, come-come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar baby
Come my lady, you're my pretty baby
I'll make your legs shake
You make me go crazy
Hey sugar mama, come and dance with me
The smartest thing you ever did was take a chance with me
Whatever tickles your fancy
Girl, it's me and you like Sid and Nancy
So sexy, almost evil talkin' 'bout butterflies in my head
I used to think happy endings were only in the books I read but
You made me feel alive when I was almost dead
You filled that empty space with the love I used to chase
And as far as I can see, it don't get better than this
So butterfly, here is a song and it's sealed with a kiss
And a thank you miss
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me
So come and dance with me
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Come my lady, come-come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar baby
Come my lady, you're my pretty baby
I'll make your legs shake
You make me go crazy
Come my lady, come-come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar baby
Come my lady, you're my pretty baby
I'll make your legs shake
You make me go crazy
Come my lady, come-come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar baby
Come my lady, you're my pretty baby
I'll make your legs shake
You make me go crazy
Come my lady, come-come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar baby
Come my lady, you're my pretty baby
I'll make your legs shake
You make me go crazy
Come and dance with me (yeah)
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me (yeah)
Come and dance with me
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Come and dance with me (yeah)
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me (yeah)
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me


Crazy Town. The only thing crazy is that song ever being popular.

 

[Ahnan E. Muss]

“Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.”

Good example. Makes no sense AND is grammatically incorrect.

 

[Glenn's Take]

Excuse me while I kiss this guy.

I love Jimi but this never made sense to me.

 

[Rebelfreedomeagle]

I've said this before: Duran Duran's lyrics for Rio read like a bad Google translation.

Moving on the floor now, babe, you're a bird of paradise
Cherry ice cream smile, I suppose it's very nice
With a step to your left and a flick to the right, you catch that mirror way out west
You know you're something special and you look like you're the best
Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand
Just like that river twisting through a dusty land
And when she shines, she really shows you all she can
Oh Rio, Rio, dance across the Rio Grande
I've seen you on the beach and I've seen you on TV
Two of a billion stars, it means so much to me
Like a birthday or a pretty view
But then I'm sure that you know it's just for you
Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand
Just like that river twisting through a dusty land
And when she shines, she really shows…

 

[Ahnan E. Muss]

^The video makes one think the song is about Rio de Janeiro in Brazil, but the lyrics make more references to the Rio Grande river.

 

[JDHoss]

Spooky Tooth does a great cover of this nonsensical song...a song that is also my favorite, as far as nonsensical songs go...

I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun
See how they fly
I'm crying
Sitting on a corn flake
Waiting for the van to come
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you've been a naughty boy
You let your face grow long
I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob
Mister City policeman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky, see how they run
I'm crying, I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob
Sitting in an English garden
Waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come you get a tan
From standing in the English rain
I am the egg man (now good sir)
They are the egg men (a poor man, made tame to fortune's blows)
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob (good pity)
Expert, texpert choking smokers
Don't you think the joker laughs at you (ho ho ho, hee hee hee, hah hah hah)
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snide
I'm crying
Semolina Pilchard
Climbing up the Eiffel tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allen Poe
I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob
Goo goo g'joob, goo goo goo g'joob, goo
Joob, joob, jooba
Jooba, jooba, jooba
Joob, jooba
Joob, jooba
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper (jooba, jooba)
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Everybody's got one (umpa, umpa)
Everybody's got one (stick it up your jumper)
Everybody's got one (umpa, umpa)
Everybody's got one (stick it up your jumper)
Everybody's got one (umpa, umpa)
Everybody's got one (stick it up your jumper)
Everybody's got one (umpa, umpa)
Everybody's got one (stick it up your jumper)
Everybody's got one (umpa, umpa)
Everybody's got one (stick it up your jumper)
Everybody's got one (umpa, umpa)
Slave
Thou hast slain me
Villain, take my purse
If I ever
Bury my body
The letters which though find'st about me
To Edmund Earl of Gloucester
Seek him out upon the British Party
O untimely death
I know thee well
A serviceable villain, as duteous to the vices of thy mistress
As badness would desire
What, is is he dead?
Sit you down, Father, rest you

 

[Kooky Kats_anon]

Excuse me while I kiss this guy.

I love Jimi but this never made sense to me.

I guess youve never done acid, Glenn.

 

[Glenn's Take]

I guess youve never done acid, Glenn.

You would be wrong. Not in a looooonnnngggg time but you would be wrong.

 

[WayneDougan_rivals170043]

All Elton John songs.

 

[Kooky Kats_anon]

Speaking of drugs, any song by Phish is destroyed by the moronic lyrics.

Not a fan of Prince’s awful lyrics either. Raspberry Beret is cringy.

 

[Kooky Kats_anon]

You would be wrong. Not in a looooonnnngggg time but you would be wrong.

Obvs not as munch as Jimi.

 

[Tinker Dan]

Rocky Top.

 

[Glenn's Take]

Obvs not as munch as Jimi.

No. It never even occurred to me to put some under my headband and absorb it through my sweat.

 

[Kooky Kats_anon]

You should try. Kiss the sky. When doves cry.

 

[crashtestdummy_rivals61973]

Excuse me while I kiss this guy.

I love Jimi but this never made sense to me.

he is basically saying that he is so high ....mentally that he can kiss the sky.

 

[TortElvisII]

Groos. Jeff Lynne wth?

 

[Ryan Lemonds Hair]

Excuse me while I kiss this guy.

I love Jimi but this never made sense to me.

 

[J_Dee]

Up until about a decade ago, I thought that Insane Clown Posse was purely a comedy band. I wish I still did.

Water, fire, air, and dirt
****ing magnets, how do they work?
And I don't wanna talk to a scientist
Y'all ************* lying, and getting me pissed

 

[BlueRaider22]

The following is the short version.......





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BRIDGE.....




.....Continue....




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Roma, roma-ma
Gaga, ooh-la-la
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Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
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Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
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[Ryan Lemonds Hair]

The following is the short version.......





Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh, oh-oh-oh
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Caught in a bad romance

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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Caught in a bad romance
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Caught in a bad romance
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Caught in a bad romance
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Caught in a bad romance

Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
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Want your bad romance

Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
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Want your bad romance



Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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BRIDGE.....




.....Continue....




Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh, oh-oh-oh
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Want your bad romance

Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
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Want your bad romance



Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Caught in a bad romance

Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
Gaga, ooh-la-la
Want your bad romance

Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
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Want your bad romance



Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
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Want your bad romance

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Roma, roma-ma
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Want your bad romance



Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Caught in a bad romance
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Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
Gaga, ooh-la-la
Want your bad romance

Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
Gaga, ooh-la-la
Want your bad romance



Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh, oh-oh-oh
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Caught in a bad romance

Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
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Want your bad romance

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Roma, roma-ma
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Want your bad romance

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Roma, roma-ma
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Want your bad romance



Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh
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Want your bad romance

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Want your bad romance

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I thought the rules were a bad song from a normally good artist. Lady Guy Guy sucks all the time. (That's what she said)

 

[DSmith21]

The Killer's "Human"

Are we human or are we dancer?

 

[LineSkiCat14]

Hahaha I ******* loved Crazy Town when they came out. Hate me.

I feel like bands who knew/were self-aware of their bad lyrics get a pass. Crazy Town was never trying to make people think or send a message.

Anything by Imagine Dragons.

 

[LineSkiCat14]

How about Best Song lyrics.. and why is it Cam'Ron?

Fox, minks, gators, that's necessary / Accessories? My closet is pet cemetary

Canary burgundy / I call it lemon red / Yellow diamonds in my ear / Call em lemonheads / Lemonhead end up dead / Ice like Winnipeg / Gemstones, Flinstones / You could say I'm friends with Fred

We hustled H on our block / In front of H&R Block

 

[Tskware]

Aye Oh, Lets Go!
Aye Oh, Lets Go!

Sayeth Joey Ramone.

Not so much different than "She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah"

Simple. But not stupid.

 

[ukgrad83]

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now; It's just a spring clean for the May Queen.

WTF?

 

[CatInCanuckLand]

In Gucci Mane’s ‘Dope Man’, he says that “the trap opens early and the ***** don’t close.” —- it should be “opened”, as in one time, if it never closes?

Also in ‘Dope Man’, he says that he’s “the dope man’s dope man”. Yet in his song ‘Nickelodeon’ he said he’s “pissed because my cousin smoked my last blunt”. How do you run out of **** if you’re the dope man’s Dope man?

All in all, it’s okay. I forgive him. Jeezy dead, Gucci alive.

 

[WildcatFan1982]

Gap teeth in your mouth so my d**** got to fit

 

[IdaCat]

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now; It's just a spring clean for the May Queen.

WTF?

You have to play it backwards to understand the true meaning.

 

[TortElvisII]

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now; It's just a spring clean for the May Queen.

WTF?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_Queen