Extremely Annoying Neighbors

[IdaCat]

My new neighbor has the 3 above dogs in their backyard: Howling Malamute, Barking (piercingly) Border Collie, and a yapping pug. Nobody ever plays with them, so they are very bored. This means they bark and howl at EVERYTHING. They are extremely LOUD!!! I'm losing my GD mind over here!

I asked their young son why he doesn't play with them and he said he doesn't know how. @#%$#&*. I think all he does is stay indoors playing video games.

I guess this must be karma payback from when I had rock band rehearsal in my basement (10 years ago). I thought the cats pissing and crapping by my front door was enough to atone for my sin. But Nooooooooooo.

Add to this, I've got a GD pyromaniac living on the other side of my house, always burning **** in his backyard. And this is a no fire area. I can tell he enjoy it. A grown man out there playing in the fire... At least he's quiet.

Anyway, what's your complaints?

 

[Moopyj]

is that all you got? barking dogS? sheeeit. I want to hear from the poster who has the neighbors who post signs saying" We love all people from all nations" or some such ****. Haven't heard from that son of a ***** in aw hile.

 

[ganner918_rivals60369]

Both my next door neighbors are middle aged to older single ladies who have never given any trouble. Guy behind me I've never met but the guy who sold me the house says he's a mentally handicapped hoarder. I put up a privacy fence, can't see the crap he keeps in his yard. He stays inside and quiet. Neighbors across the street don't make eye contact. Basically, I can't complain.

 

[IdaCat]

Oh Hell, I've got that beat. Neighbor across the street has a huge cursive sticker in their rear car window that says...

You are a gift to the world. A divine work of art signed by God!

I thought they were regular Christians so I thought it was safe to talk **** on Hillary. Turns out they're PROGRESSIVE CHRISTIANS! Now they hate my guts. F'em.

 

[RacerX.ksr]

Get a BB gun. Whenever the dog barks, light his *** up from your bathroom window. You'll fix the problem so fast you'll wish you would have borrowed the gun instead of buying one.

Don't get one that penetrates, that could cause a nasty infection.

 

[IdaCat]

The bb gun idea crossed my mind. We've got a cedar fence between us, so I don't have a clear shot unless I go out front. Too exposed. My brother said I should spray them with mountain lion piss. I guess it can be bought online. Said it would make them would go nuts. But it's not really their fault they have such inconsiderate owners.

 

[RacerX.ksr]

Is your privacy fence solid? Plink em through the crack. Make a gloryhole. I'm willing for you to take whatever means necessary.

 

[IdaCat]

That could work. Thanks for your support and approval. I may do it. Seriously.

 

[UKserialkiller]

I'll be honest, Ida. I thought you made too much money to have neighbors.

Son, I'm living in a goddamn 1 bed room/ 1 bath that's wooden frame apartment that needed maintence on the goddamn toilet within 20 minutes of living in this ********.

Jesus goddamn christ.

 

[RacerX.ksr]

That could work. Thanks for your support and approval. I may do it. Seriously.

Thank you, buddy. This aggression will not stand.

 

[RacerX.ksr]

I'll be honest, Ida. I thought you made too much money to have neighbors.

Son, I'm living in a goddamn 1 bed room/ 1 bath that's wooden frame apartment that needed maintence on the goddamn toilet within 20 minutes of living in this ********.

Jesus goddamn christ.

And?

 

[UKserialkiller]

And?

Ida will be fine. Some ol' bennie's yappin dog isn't enough to ruin ya. ****, I'd kill it. IDGAF what anybody says. Would let it attack me first, then snap its neck in self defense

 

[UKserialkiller]

Carry a serrated knife for the big dogs

 

[IdaCat]

I'll be honest, Ida. I thought you made too much money to have neighbors.

Son, I'm living in a goddamn 1 bed room/ 1 bath that's wooden frame apartment that needed maintence on the goddamn toilet within 20 minutes of living in this ********.

Jesus goddamn christ.

[laughing]

I remember living worse than that, but I am doing better now. This hood has gone to **** lately. Used to just be a bunch of retired Mormons. Now I've got a guy who sits in his driveway gunning his harley for 10 minutes straight just to feel better about his micropenis. :uzi:

 

[mashburned]

What you do is cut you a nice glory hole and put peanut butter on your pecker.

 

[UK 82]

My new neighbor has the 3 above dogs in their backyard: Howling Malamute, Barking (piercingly) Border Collie, and a yapping pug. Nobody ever plays with them, so they are very bored. This means they bark and howl at EVERYTHING. They are extremely LOUD!!! I'm losing my GD mind over here!

I asked their young son why he doesn't play with them and he said he doesn't know how. @#%$#&*. I think all he does is stay indoors playing video games.

I guess this must be karma payback from when I had rock band rehearsal in my basement (10 years ago). I thought the cats pissing and crapping by my front door was enough to atone for my sin. But Nooooooooooo.

Add to this, I've got a GD pyromaniac living on the other side of my house, always burning **** in his backyard. And this is a no fire area. I can tell he enjoy it. A grown man out there playing in the fire... At least he's quiet.

Anyway, what's your complaints?

I'd shoot the neighbors with the BB gun, not the dogs.

 

[IdaCat]

Mashburned, you can come try that if you want.

 

[RacerX.ksr]

Carry a serrated knife for the big dogs

That's your problem right there. Nice smooth razor sharp blade is where it's at. Took me 3 riots to figure that out. Get yoself a straightedged steak knife and profit. #protip

 

[RacerX.ksr]

I'd shoot the neighbors with the BB gun, not the dogs.

Dog will bark because he misses the neighbors, and the food. If you kill the neighbors, you'll have to feed the dog and that bastard will still bark. Gotta shoot the dog.

 

[BlueVelvetFog]

Carry a serrated knife for the big dogs

When I sold Cutco knives in ]Tampa, one of my demonstrations was cutting the family dog in half.

Spoiler

NO Sale

 

[IdaCat]

Ah hell. I just ran out of tobacco. Got to run down to the store and get some more. Jesus, life sucks.

 

[mashburned]

For all you know it's Beyonce and the rest of Destiny's Child furiously licking you clean. That's the beauty of a glory hole. If you can see it, you can believe it, knowmsaying?

 

[JDHoss]

Had a neighbor a few years ago who had a Pug and a Scottie. They had a doggy door so they could go outside while they were at work, and those touching dogs would go ape **** if me or my wife stepped out onto the carport or in the backyard, and wouldn't stop until we went back in. When I mowed, it was 45-60 minutes of nonstop barking. I finally tried a super soaker type of water gun, and for about a couple of weeks straight every time I went outside and they started, I blasted them with it, and got to where I did it even when they weren't barking just for good measure. After about a week of that, the bastards would hit the doggy door wide open when they saw me coming.

 

[RacerX.ksr]

How many serrated scalpels have you seen? Exactly.

 

[UK 82]

Dog will bark because he misses the neighbors, and the food. If you kill the neighbors, you'll have to feed the dog and that bastard will still bark. Gotta shoot the dog.

Not sure a BB gun can kill the neighbor. Piss him/her off though.

 

[UKserialkiller]

[laughing]

I remember living worse than that, but I am doing better now. This hood has gone to **** lately. Used to just be a bunch of retired Mormons. Now I've got a guy who sits in his driveway gunning his harley for 10 minutes straight just to feel better about his micropenis. :uzi:

Prolly more of a nano-penis. But still. If that's the worst. So be it. Go over and talk with the guy. ****, it may be an "blessing in disguise " lol

Look man, yeah we get ourselves in some ****. Just be thankful. Goddamn. I masturbated 3 times yesterday on a Coleman blow up camping bed with a box of kleenex that my soon to be ol' lady bought me.

Seriously, Ida. Do you really have a real problem? Ha ha

 

[RacerX.ksr]

For all you know it's Beyonce and the rest of Destiny's Child furiously licking you clean. That's the beauty of a glory hole. If you can see it, you can believe it, knowmsaying?

"gloryhole" touched you slap up. It IS a wonderful idea.

 

[RacerX.ksr]

Not sure a BB gun can kill the neighbor. Piss him/her off though.

Eye shot at 1200fps with a .22 caliber. Dead. Can still have an open casket too. #neighborly

 

[Kaizer Sosay]

Oh Hell, I've got that beat. Neighbor across the street has a huge cursive sticker in their rear car window that says...

You are a gift to the world. A divine work of art signed by God!

I thought they were regular Christians so I thought it was safe to talk **** on Hillary. Turns out they're PROGRESSIVE CHRISTIANS! Now they hate my guts. F'em.

[laughing]Sorry it had to be at your expense, ida…but this post ^^^^^^^ made me laugh pretty hard.[laughing]

With you ida…I'm laughing with you. For if you can't laugh when stuff like that happens to you then life becomes much more stressful.


Also, leave the dogs alone. Like you said…its not their fault they have crappy owners. If it were me I would get the old band back together Blues Brothers style and put on a makeshift concert in your back yard…two or three gigs should do the trick.

Or better yet…install outdoor speakers and position the speakers towards your neighbors house. Play loud music late at night or whenever the dogs are barking/yapping. Explain to the neighbors that you are just trying to drown out the noises the dogs are making with music so that you can sleep/get some peace and quiet.

Its a 50/50 shot. It will either work in your favor or you will wind up with some sort of noise citation from the cops:cop:. If it were me…I could live with those odds.

Good luck, my man.

 

[RacerX.ksr]

Had a neighbor a few years ago who had a Pug and a Scottie. They had a doggy door so they could go outside while they were at work, and those touching dogs would go ape **** if me or my wife stepped out onto the carport or in the backyard, and wouldn't stop until we went back in. When I mowed, it was 45-60 minutes of nonstop barking. I finally tried a super soaker type of water gun, and for about a couple of weeks straight every time I went outside and they started, I blasted them with it, and got to where I did it even when they weren't barking just for good measure. After about a week of that, the bastards would hit the doggy door wide open when they saw me coming.

I love the smell of vindication in the morning. Smells like, victory.

 

[thabigbluenation]

when the neighbors aren't home, go set the dogs free. if that doesn't work, then offing the neighbors may be a go. i like dogs better than most people.

 

[UK 82]

I'm a dog lover. Don't hurt the dog BUT this scene was funny,

 

[RacerX.ksr]

Holy ****

Prolly more of a nano-penis. But still. If that's the worst. So be it. Go over and talk with the guy. ****, it may be an "blessing in disguise " lol

Look man, yeah we get ourselves in some ****. Just be thankful. Goddamn. I masturbated 3 times yesterday on a Coleman blow up camping bed with a box of kleenex that my soon to be ol' lady bought me.

Seriously, Ida. Do you really have a real problem? Ha ha

Holy **** dude. That's a multi-faceted post. Kudos

 

[JumperJack]

Antifreeze.

 

[IdaCat]

Prolly more of a nano-penis. But still. If that's the worst. So be it. Go over and talk with the guy. ****, it may be an "blessing in disguise " lol

Look man, yeah we get ourselves in some ****. Just be thankful. Goddamn. I masturbated 3 times yesterday on a Coleman blow up camping bed with a box of kleenex that my soon to be ol' lady bought me.

Seriously, Ida. Do you really have a real problem? Ha ha

If you look at it that way, I guess I can't complain. But I'm still going to. My nature. Plus I'm starting to get old. Been a tough year, but things are looking up. Must be a major disaster coming soon.

Good luck Willy! Hope you get it worked out. You're too good of a psychotherapist or what ever the hell it's called to not eventually be successful.

 

[IdaCat]

[laughing]Sorry it had to be at your expense, ida…but this post ^^^^^^^ made me laugh pretty hard.[laughing]

With you ida…I'm laughing with you. For if you can't laugh when stuff like that happens to you then life becomes much more stressful.


Also, leave the dogs alone. Like you said…its not their fault they have crappy owners. If it were me I would get the old band back together Blues Brothers style and put on a makeshift concert in your back yard…two or three gigs should do the trick.

Or better yet…install outdoor speakers and position the speakers towards your neighbors house. Play loud music late at night or whenever the dogs are barking/yapping. Explain to the neighbors that you are just trying to drown out the noises the dogs are making with music so that you can sleep/get some peace and quiet.

Its a 50/50 shot. It will either work in your favor or you will wind up with some sort of noise citation from the cops:cop:. If it were me…I could live with those odds.

Good luck, my man.

Damn good feedback. Damn good. This summer they're going to hear what a Marshall stack sounds like cranked to 11! Thanks.

 

[Tinker Dan]

Neighbors upstairs. Two toddlers that I swear have Big Wheels in the apartment. Just before Christmas they brought in TWO Blue Tick Hound puppies into a second floor apartment. WTF?????????? The place allows pets but really?

I researched building a speaker that would handle frequencies high enough that humans could not hear and could be projected through the floor to drive the dogs nuts.

I was going to set that thing off every day I went to work and when I left on the weekends. Have those little bastards barking all the time I was not home.
Signal won't travel through the wood floor.

Did read about a guy who had neighbors next door to his house with barking dogs similar to your situation.

He recorded the dogs for a long time and then rented a PA system and started playing it late at night pointed at the neighbors. When the neighbor started raising hell with him. He just said those are yours dogs on the recordings.

I thought that was brilliant.

 

[IdaCat]

I've actually got a pretty powerful PA system, so that's a doable option right there as well. Hmmmm. Just to GD lazy to set it up these days.

 

[Tinker Dan]

I've actually got a pretty powerful PA system, so that's a doable option right there as well. Hmmmm. Just to GD lazy to set it up these days.

i owned and still have access to a decent sized club PA. Two dual 18 subs and 4 single 15 tops. I ran about 8K into it.

The neighbors ended up moving suddenly. I told the manager that since noise did not seem to be a problem I was going to tune up my PA in my living room in preparation for the summer season and I fully expected to not hear a single word about it.

 

[UKserialkiller]

If you look at it that way, I guess I can't complain. But I'm still going to. My nature. Plus I'm starting to get old. Been a tough year, but things are looking up. Must be a major disaster coming soon.

Good luck Willy! Hope you get it worked out. You're too good of a psychotherapist or what ever the hell it's called to not eventually be successful.

Ida, look. Don't be passive aggressive. Kill it. Don't do some ***** waifish ****. Go over there with gun and blow its brains out. Don't have a gun? Mf'er i know you got a steak knife. Kill it. ****. Let me be the satan. Kill it


Look, f*** it. Does it really matter? Jesus, Ida.