so my friend did something stupid (drugs) and had 10 years mandatory minimum. He got out a few years ago and has done everything right. Works hard and lives right. He just got off of probation 2 years early for being upstanding. Anyway I'd like to get him a small gift but not really sure what to get so why not let you guys have some input as I know this will be good.
Friend off probation
- Thread starter H. Lecter
- Start date
A nice 8-ball of yay.....or maybe some bath salts?
He has some catching up to do.
He has some catching up to do.
I'm thinking a hooker and a couple Viagra might be nice. The mini-Lamar Odom experience.
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A Glock 19 and some decent hollow-points will only set you back about $500. I'd say either that or a bong.
Candlesticks always make a nice gift, and maybe you could find out where he's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern.
Hey now. Drugs aren't stupid. Getting caught with drugs is stupid.
With that being said, you should get him a good bottle of bourbon. He deserves it for being good.
Get him some tickets to a ballgame. Doesn't matter which sport.
Lower level tickets with a nice dinner before or after.
Lower level tickets with a nice dinner before or after.
He might want a butt plug. You don't know.
3 unlubed fingers, potted meat, and some 2012 UK Basketball Championship gear.
It's been typed as a response many times in many threads…but never has it been so appropriate…
Hookers and blow. Get him hookers. And blow.
Hookers and blow. Get him hookers. And blow.
I agree. He just got caught. And good call on the bourbon!
That's funny cause he's the type of guy we can joke about that crap with. Was playing cornhole and he had never played it. He said "you guys think that's funny"? Also a buddy bent over to get the bags and I said "don't bend over in front of him like that he just got out"!
Lollll
He's missed a lot of ****. I wonder what blows his mind the most?
Has he made a stance on transgender bathrooms? Wonder how he feels about that. Wonder if he pees sitting down, and would he feel more comfortable pissing in the ladies room? He has that right. Make sure he knows that.
He's missed a lot of ****. I wonder what blows his mind the most?
Has he made a stance on transgender bathrooms? Wonder how he feels about that. Wonder if he pees sitting down, and would he feel more comfortable pissing in the ladies room? He has that right. Make sure he knows that.
There's a big hayfield up near Buxton. You know where Buxton is?
One in particular. It's got a long rock wall with a big oak tree at the north end. It's like something out of a Robert Frost poem. Promise me, Red. If you ever get out... find that spot. At the base of that wall, you'll find a rock that has no earthly business in a Maine hayfield. Piece of black, volcanic glass. There's something buried under it I want you to have.
[turn to walk away] You'll have to pry it up... to see.
That is how you give him his gift.
One in particular. It's got a long rock wall with a big oak tree at the north end. It's like something out of a Robert Frost poem. Promise me, Red. If you ever get out... find that spot. At the base of that wall, you'll find a rock that has no earthly business in a Maine hayfield. Piece of black, volcanic glass. There's something buried under it I want you to have.
[turn to walk away] You'll have to pry it up... to see.
That is how you give him his gift.
Lecter you're the biggest rascal on catpaw!
Great idea. Home Depot should work, or Lowes. $25 should cover enough potting soil to pack his *** crack with and some seeds to drop in. Maybe some Miracle Grow.
Then tell him to get it sewn so the seeds don't fall out.